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Open Poetry #14
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REVISED TITLE---" Did You? "
| Open Poetry #14 |
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REVISED TITLE---" Did You? " |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
popular vote thinks I should call this " Did You? " so now, I'm comfortable with it. Is comfortable okay?  Virginia Salter did you taste the toast, its buttered, jammed sweetness or merely pass it through your teeth to your stomach with a thud did you smell the scent of orange blossoms lingering past your senses or merely sip your soda through a straw and pop another antihistimine did you press the baby’s cheek against your own feeling the caress of wondrous life or merely wrap it up and carry it through another dreary day did you rapture of the sunset as it gleamed about your eyes or merely traverse the terrain seeking out your destiny did you heed of sweet bird song dancing about your lobes or merely shout the needs you felt as you arrived to settle home © June 6, 2001 [This message has been edited by VAS (edited 06-07-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Virginia Salter - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Tovi Member
since 2001-06-05
Posts 168 |
I like both titles, but lean towards "Did you?" Though shorter it packs quite a punch. A very good poem. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Thanks, Tovi, for your response and your vote. |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
VAS I think "Were your Senses Awake?" would be a better, just a suggestion. I like the drift of your thoughts in this. Nicely done. Poeminister |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Thanks, PM, I like the term Awake, I may settle on a derivative of that, i.e. "Awaken, Senses!" or "Awaken Your Senses" no, they don't make it, eh. |
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