navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #14 » The scene of the 'they'
Open Poetry #14
Post A Reply Post New Topic The scene of the 'they' Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2001-06-06 12:42 PM


Outlines of them were being sketched
In happy shades of afterglow,
Pictures of love were being etched
Marked in still waters, rolling slow.

Reflections from two in a boat
Holding their affectionate hands,
In rhapsody of calm peaceful float
Like footprints closely paired in sand.

A couple with joyous emotions
Of worship draped till distant coast
Resplendent in sunset's crimson
In paints of joy to the utmost.

In the patient bed of adore
They advanced with evening colours,
Rowing leisurely to the shore
With thoughts of only him and her.

It is the they that made this scene
A lovely sight never thus seen!

~*~

© Copyright 2001 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved
Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
1 posted 2001-06-06 12:46 PM


Wonderful work my friend.  You just get beter all the time  

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. Philip Sidney (1554-1586) Loving in Truth


Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
2 posted 2001-06-06 12:46 PM


Oh, I think this is a lovely poem.

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace&naventryid=100

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2001-06-06 12:52 PM


Sudhir,
You just painted an impressionistic picture with words. Lovely

Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635

4 posted 2001-06-06 01:26 PM


Sudhir, this is absolutely enchanting, a joyous read....a wonderful delight
brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
5 posted 2001-06-06 01:55 PM


beautiful scene you have painted, Sudhir.

"Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett

azblond
Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637
The Steamy Desert
6 posted 2001-06-06 01:58 PM


Beautiful...simply breathtakingly beautiful!

Let my words fall first upon deaf ears before a closed mind...

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

7 posted 2001-06-06 02:02 PM


Now, Sudhir, this is sooo nice, the rhyme scheme, everything, especially loved the last two lines.

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


Romy
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida
8 posted 2001-06-06 06:11 PM


Yes, this has a wonderful rhythm to it and the details are such that I could see the lovely picture you painted with your words!
Very Nice!
Debbie

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
9 posted 2001-06-06 07:29 PM


great job my friend. . . you've done well with this. . . it's a picture worthy of your talent. . .  

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
10 posted 2001-06-07 04:30 AM


Interloper, thank you very much for your kind appreciation.

Titia, I am honoured that you think so. Thank you

Seymour, my friend, the artist is you, the painter is you, for you see an impression in this one. Thank you

Decaflame, to provide an occasion for joy is joyous indeed. Thank you

Brian, It is so good to see you after a while, my friend. I hope all is fine and going great with you. Thank you for coming by

Azblond, firstly, welcome to passions and thanks so much for visiting and your kind comments

Kathleen, guess why I feel wonderful right now. Thank you

Debbie, thank you for coming by and seeing the picture.

O Sir Sven, thank you so much for your kind and appreciative words as always.

Regards to all,
Sudhir

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
11 posted 2001-06-11 07:43 AM


Wonderful work here Sudhir....it's a fine display of your talent for creating words pictures!!

Have a nice day!!      ethome

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

12 posted 2001-06-11 07:48 AM


nicely painted.the images clear and crisp..

I enjoyed..

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

13 posted 2001-06-11 07:51 AM


In the patient bed of adore
==============
what a beautiful, tender thought that is..
this is so romantic and lovely Sud, in imagery and emotion.
You have a painted a Monet in my mind.
well done poet brillance  

she said I dont know why you ever would lie to me
like I'm a little untrusting when I think that the truth is gonna hurt ya
~MB20~

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
14 posted 2001-06-11 08:35 AM


Like the way you wrote this Sudhir...James
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
15 posted 2001-06-12 05:04 AM


Ethome, thank you so much, my friend, for reading and for your extremely kind words...

Cpat Hair, I am glad that you enjoyed. Thank you for reading

Janet, a Monet? That's a huge compliment to give... my friend, I do not know if I deserve all the kind words of praise... Thank you so much

James, thank you so much

Regards to all,
Sudhir

"I was born intelligent - education ruined me"

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #14 » The scene of the 'they'

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary