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Open Poetry #14
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Still
| Open Poetry #14 |
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Still |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
The heart aches, pain holds on, Day by day, beating away, Dull as it seems, It's always there holding on, Like blood coursing through my veins, Can't stop it, throbbing yet to ever be, Use to think pain only lasted for awhile, They all said smile, it will end you'll see, Yet here it is tearing at my heart, Though it seemed mellow, I know it shall certainly take it's toil, The mind plays back dreams of you I can't erase, Sometimes I can't help but feel displaced, Without you. Knowing your kisses were like wine, You loved me, consumed me, Until I could cause you no more pain. So I took it from you, Silently even still. [This message has been edited by Rosebud1229 (edited 06-06-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Rose - All Rights Reserved | |||
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Powerful, Rosebud, I had to read it 3 times before I knew what it said in my mind...now I'm thinking that my heart knew what it said right away and that's why I could barely see it to read it until I took a deep breath and concentrated on the meaning of the words. I know exactly the heart pain you're describing, however, there is still a tiny bit of mystery here as I think there could really be one of two different stories, here. |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
Vas, your right in writing poetry there is always a mystery, and in this your absolutely right, especially in this piece. |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
heartfelt penned my friend and I do know these feeling quite well. Heartpain...a part of life but sometimes hard to deal with it. ((warm hugs)) Charisma |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
indeed, this heart has known much. . . pain and sorrow. . . but. . . and that's what makes this different. . . well done. . . ---------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I know it shall certainly take it's toil, The mind plays back dreams of you I can't erase, Sometimes I can't help but feel displaced, Without you. Knowing your kisses were like wine, You loved me, consumed me, Until I could cause you no more pain. So I took it from you, Silently even still. =========================== whew...the impact of those last 4 lines... was like a kick in the chest... RB this just aches of the page... hauntingly beautiful writing... heal in the release as you write dear poetess. take care jm she said I dont know why you ever would lie to me |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
Charisma , thanks so much for replying, as you can see the heart continually keeps reminding me that life is not as easy as it seems. Sven, sometimes I wish the heart would not remind me of the emotions constantly that seem to prevail everyday. Janet Marie you always inspire me with your lovely words thank you. |
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JCGF Member
since 2001-01-19
Posts 72MA |
I REALLY like this alot! Well said. I especially love the ending... You loved me, consumed me until I could cause no more pain, so I took it from you. Silently, even still. WOW! I love it! Thank you for this. Tammy |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
some very nice lines in this with a very strong ending.. I enjoyed the read!! |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
thanks Tammy, Love does linger, sometimes it's hard to say goodbye, cpat, glad you enjoyed, there's something about love , the joy and the pain. |
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