navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #14 » Toe Dancing
Open Poetry #14
Post A Reply Post New Topic Toe Dancing Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2001-06-04 08:36 PM


Toe Dancing

may I, please, then
     dream again
and dance upon your toes
                        once more
might I see, again,
     the sun backlight
your frame
               against the door

for I am your most
cherished waif, your dearest one
                 and you,
you named me for a
        song you had sung
I hear it in your blue

your timbered voice still
taunts my mind
and I’ve cherished so
       the haunt
of time
I hear the chuckle and the
       glee
there in your smile that captured
       we

for I am your most
cherished waif, your dearest one
                 and you,
you named me for a
        song you had sung
I hear it in your blue

the music on the radio plays
         your grin still with me
stays
and even with your grandiose
ways
you allowed me to
                         dance
upon your toes

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




© Copyright 2001 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
1 posted 2001-06-04 08:40 PM


Wonderful remembrance of ... your father?  The one who whistled "You are my Sunshine?"
Well done indeed!

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. Philip Sidney (1554-1586) Loving in Truth


EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
2 posted 2001-06-05 01:31 AM


This brought forth similar thoughts for me too, Wonderful work!

"Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our
feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly." ~unknown


Logan
Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641
Arkansas
3 posted 2001-06-05 01:55 AM


The imagery is priceless, very nice indeed...gentle smile
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
4 posted 2001-06-05 02:12 AM


Yes, the imagery is priceless, absolutely priceless .  I'm also glad someone mentioned the father figure.  I'm afraid I was thinking of someone stepping on my toes in dancing, even though the rest of the poem would not indicate any kind of pain was endured.

the only spot where I was taken aback, was when you mentioned....captured we

it seems like it should be me if singular or us if plural, which wouldn't fit with the rhyme if us was used

I think I'm gettin too sleepy to make any sense of what I'm saying, I hope you can.  

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
5 posted 2001-06-05 03:59 AM


Now I do remember that one!  Dancing at weddings on grownups toes, and thank you for that memory, maybe others will come!  Enjoyed this very much.

~*~ Remember to tell someone today that you love them ~*~

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #14 » Toe Dancing

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary