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Open Poetry #14
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1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

0 posted 2001-06-04 02:45 PM



Until…

beautiful lady
splendor in white

inviting seduction
her pressing embrace
cusp
your destruction
freezing
all the things
you hold so near
incased in ice
evaporate
and disappear
lost
in this form
burns a chill
anesthetizes all
suspends
the feel
escaping fast
withdrawn emotion
hidden deep under
silent commotion
as you cover all
you’re hurting  still
exposed or unexposed
you suffer
until…




"...the rest is silence" (Hamlet)       Shakespeare

[This message has been edited by 1slick_lady (edited 06-05-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Helen Chambers - All Rights Reserved
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

1 posted 2001-06-04 02:46 PM


hmmm...this one leaves you thinking...I like....it is complex...nice write  
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
2 posted 2001-06-04 02:47 PM


I like the short lines
gives the reader time to develop thoughts
while reading,
Enjoyed.

Gloom

Saunni
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777
West Virginia
3 posted 2001-06-04 02:49 PM


Yet another fabulous poem! You sure have a way with words!  

Sauni

Sauni :)
Have you ever known the color grey when the nighttime finds you weak
I have, I've walked that road each time; that's where my angel sleeps

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

4 posted 2001-06-05 12:25 PM


h,
Fascinating!
Intense imaging!
"cusp
your destruction"
is definitly original . . . but I will admit, I don't think I understand it.
e

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
5 posted 2001-06-05 03:42 AM


JB...ty glad i made you think

Professor...glad you liked

saunni...ty, i am flattered

Kraw...im sorry you didnt understand the poem...the beautiful lady is cocaine & she IS the tip of distruction & instead of dealing with hurts, some choose to freeze...but in this freeze of emotions it also freezes others out (same as all addictions)...it dulls the pain but it is still there

kansas-jim
Junior Member
since 2001-06-05
Posts 22
Willits,Ca
6 posted 2001-06-05 09:15 PM


Awesome.You are very good.I am indeed lucky to have met you.
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
7 posted 2001-06-05 09:27 PM


this is amazing...lost a friend to that lady....
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