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Open Poetry #14
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awakened from reality
| Open Poetry #14 |
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awakened from reality |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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Now again, the fevered dream awakened from reality the way you listen with your eyes and the secret in your smile even when you're standing still your shadow beckons to my will... No. I didn't count on this-- this masochistic tortured bliss an agony when you're not here doubled only by you near. I surely think that it must show-- my eyes set sun to watch you go... and then again, a sun's surprise-- I'm all in glow when you arrive. Now awake, I smoke and pace my soul remembering your face No. I didn't count on this... that in my sleep, I'd taste your lips or that my ears would dance rejoice at just a whisper of your voice. I think your touch might be too much... I think that I would be undone, reversal of the name of God, implosion of creation's sun. Back in bed, in toss of fits-- No. I did not count on this. |
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| © Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Love Junior Member
since 2001-06-04
Posts 15All Places Always |
How could anyone count on the unexpected by definiton it takes us unaware such its name inspires But you are still and only you no matter circumstances therein I believe lies enough srength to handle and overcome any moment Love |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Celeste this is an excellent description of the all too often ambivalence of love! "No. I didn't count on this-- this masochistic tortured bliss an agony when you're not here doubled only by you near." You didn't get that from any saturday night fish fry! The rest is fab too! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
No. I didn't count on this-- this masochistic tortured bliss an agony when you're not here doubled only by you near. I surely think that it must show-- my eyes set sun to watch you go... and then again, a sun's surprise-- I'm all in glow when you arrive. Now awake, I smoke and pace my soul remembering your face No. I didn't count on this... that in my sleep, I'd taste your lips or that my ears would dance rejoice at just a whisper of your voice. I think your touch might be too much... I think that I would be undone, reversal of the name of God, implosion of creation's sun. Back in bed, in toss of fits-- No. I did not count on this. ======================================= OMG I love you for this one.......... |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Excellent Serenity! Wonderful flow and rhythm, and terrific exploration of thoughts, I really enjoyed this, very nicely written!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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MyEnchanted_Melody Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be. |
"an agony when you're not here doubled only by you near. I surely think that it must show-- my eyes set sun to watch you go... and then again, a sun's surprise-- I'm all in glow when you arrive." =============== Why do we all seem to be captivated by the above lines.........?? I simply loved it........the soft flow and the longing between the folds of its lines........beautiful...... Thank you for the read...... ************************** It's only me.......only me |
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Dennis Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 235Indiana |
good read, I could identify completely. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
I think that I would be undone, reversal of the name of God, implosion of creation's sun. I loved this image powerful and poignant, Remember it ain't all black clouds sun shines sometimes. HUGE HUG take care,  "difference between love and comfortis that comfort's more reliable and true |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
Oh, a great piece of work here! I too could identify so well. Very creative. Sauni Sauni :) |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
No, Serenity, we certainly cannot count on things such as this.... a good read....thank you! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I thought I would say thanks before I forget about this one (yep, the forum moves so fast sometimes I forget MY OWN poems! )So thanks to all, and ethome? grin..you'd be VERY surprised what you can learn at a Saturday night fish fry! |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Serenity..... No. I didn't count on this-- this masochistic tortured bliss an agony when you're not here doubled only by you near. I surely think that it must show-- my eyes set sun to watch you go... and then again, a sun's surprise-- I'm all in glow when you arrive. No. I didn't count on this... that in my sleep, I'd taste your lips or that my ears would dance rejoice at just a whisper of your voice. I think your touch might be too much... I think that I would be undone, Back in bed, in toss of fits-- No. I did not count on this Girl, you're amazing, these lines are excellent. A great piece of work m'sista. Love it! Maree |
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spiked Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873Hammond, La USA |
Very Well done oh Serene one.  Rich |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
needed to read this one again... moths and reality??? now theres a novel idea and this is one amazing lil gift of inspire me twin.. man oh man do I love this poem..... (is hanging on the wall by me puter) ( needs to be tatooed on me ...yayaya)  meshe said I dont know why you ever would lie to me |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
m'sista, m'luv, and m'twin...three of my favorite people! Thanks...somehow I know all three of you understand! |
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