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Nathaniel Shain
Junior Member
since 2001-06-03
Posts 35


0 posted 2001-06-03 04:09 PM


Broken Thoughts


I shall not wander in the mind.
The dreams I have, I’ve yet to find.
I will not delve in doubt and fear.
I will not wilt or shed a tear.

I’m dead inside from wounds unhealed.
The tears inside my eyes have spilled.
My heart is dusty lace that’s old.
My sight grows dim, my breath is cold.

I’ll never touch another night
with broken thoughts that blend with light.
I will not suffer from the past.
The day will unfold when I’m free at last.

I was brought down to my knees before.
I now stand straight, but nothing more.
I’m surrounded by a twilight day.
I search but cannot find my way.
  
I will not shelter in a dream,
although I cannot ever seem
to keep the wake in native fears,
to stand steadfast through passing years.

The eve, much like a gentle dawn,
the twilight, like a day.
My heart is full of twilight song.
My mind is full of clay.


© Copyright 2001 Nathaniel Shain - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-06-03 04:15 PM


A beautiful entrance made, thank you for sharing this with our Passions' Poets! Welcome, and please, check your e-mail for a special message!

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




Mabel A. Dilley
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 859
Seattle, WA, USA
2 posted 2001-06-03 04:17 PM


Welcome!! Twilight can be lovely and new clay molded into a masterpiece.

"I am not now that which I have been."

Watersign6
Senior Member
since 2001-05-25
Posts 823
Hurricane,WV
3 posted 2001-06-03 04:39 PM


this poem is fascinating,i love it  
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
4 posted 2001-06-03 04:42 PM


This is a great poem! I love the depth of the material.

Welcome to Passions!!

The role of poetry is to utter the un-utterable; to open up
spaces of consciousness and resistance; to language oppressions; to
re-language historie

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
5 posted 2001-06-03 04:58 PM


Very well done.

Welcome to passions!

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
6 posted 2001-06-03 05:11 PM


Wow! awesome writing!

*W*E*L*C*O*M*E* to Passions!

~Tier

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
7 posted 2001-06-03 05:41 PM


Welcome to the family!! This is marvelous. I will look for your work again.  
elizabeth anne
Member
since 2001-03-29
Posts 83

8 posted 2001-06-03 06:44 PM


Very interesting verse .. welcome to Passions..

Elizabeth Anne

Just A Man
Junior Member
since 2001-06-02
Posts 15
Pain
9 posted 2001-06-03 07:59 PM


Broken thoughts may be
like broken hearts it
is said time heals such
for you I hope it does

For myself, I have never found it to be such
May it be for you.
walk free


"In daring to dream, offering life,I am sentenced to life as a Deadman walking. Such ends all Love given."

[This message has been edited by Just A Man (edited 06-03-2001).]

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

10 posted 2001-06-03 08:18 PM


A great poem
Well Done

Welcome  

Maree

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
11 posted 2001-06-03 08:48 PM


Hang in there, Nathaniel.  You will find your way when the time is right.  It isn't an easy thing to do, but you'll get there.  This was a grand entrance here.  Great write.  Welcome to Passions!  I think you will fit right in.  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

12 posted 2001-06-03 11:38 PM


I’m dead inside from wounds unhealed.
The tears inside my eyes have spilled.
My heart is dusty lace that’s old.
My sight grows dim, my breath is cold.

I’ll never touch another night
with broken thoughts that blend with light.
I will not suffer from the past.
The day will unfold when I’m free at last.

I was brought down to my knees before.
I now stand straight, but nothing more.
I’m surrounded by a twilight day.
I search but cannot find my way.
====================================

Your cadence is excellent...
and your emote and expression is intense...
this is very well written,
Welcome to Poetry Land ...
nice to have you here.
I look forward to reading more of your work.

I'm not right ... you're not wrong ...
Still I dont know ... what this love of ours is built upon.

JamesBowie
Member
since 2000-11-25
Posts 252
big old Bangor Maine up by the shack
13 posted 2001-06-04 12:07 PM


nice breakthrough piece. Glad to see the quality of poets coming here has not been diluted
Nathaniel Shain
Junior Member
since 2001-06-03
Posts 35

14 posted 2001-06-04 05:28 PM


Sunshine,
Thank you and thanks also for the wonderful card.

Julian,
Thank you and yes, I agree.

Watersign6,
Thanks for "loving" this.  I wasn't sure that I should post it and now I am glad that I did.

ethome,
Thank you for the welcome.  I'm glad you like the depth.  I enjoyed writing it.

Jamie,
Thanks.  I think I'm going to like it here.

Tier,
I love hearing "wow" and "awesome."  It gives a lot of confidence in my writing which right now, I could use.  Thank you so much.

Poet deVine,
I really appreciate your comments.  Thank you.

Elizabeth Anne,
Thank you for the welcome and reading.

Just A Man,
I hope it is for you also and I wish you my very best.  Thank you for your kindness.

Maree,
Thank you very much.

Lone Wolf,
I know I'll find my way and thank you for reading.

Janet Marie,
Thank you.  I was taught by one of the best, so I hope not to disappoint her.

James Bowie,
What a nice thing to say.  Thank you much.

Everyone, thank you very much for making me feel so welcome here and for reading my poem.

Nathaniel
  

Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
15 posted 2001-06-05 09:06 AM


Welcome to Passions.  I enjoyed the read and look forward to future works.

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. Philip Sidney (1554-1586) Loving in Truth


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
16 posted 2001-06-05 10:41 AM


Hi Nathaniel...what a wonderful first write..deep and powerful...Welcome to Passions!
vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
17 posted 2001-06-05 10:57 AM


welcome to passions enjoy
Cerenity
Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637
Escondido-California
18 posted 2001-06-06 08:40 AM


Hi Nathaniel,

Wow wonderful writing here hope to see more of your work and welcome to Passions hope you enjoy your stay.

Love, Cerenity

"God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist.
We have to be reminded that He exist!"

(Writer Unknown)



Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

19 posted 2001-06-06 08:47 AM


Nicely done!
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