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Open Poetry #14
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Kit McCallum
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0 posted 2001-06-02 03:28 PM


*Please note that this is "not" happening to me personally, just someone I care a great deal about.  I wasn't going to post this initially as it's a little intense, so I did get a second opinion from another moderator before posting this here.

.
***

Sure, I'll Take The Blame

Just lift that bottle to your lips, come on, a little more,
You "need" to exercise that elbow … calisthenics, sure.
I'm just your drill instructor, go ahead - another sip,
It's all my fault, I force you to … you have no say in it.

Oops, sorry, that was "last" week, let's correct that shall we now?
I think you blamed your mother or the kids last time somehow;
And where'd you get the booze this time, I thought you poured it out …
The last time you apologized through all the screams and shouts.

You likely have a hidden stash I haven't run across,
I'm sure in time I'll stumble over more that you have lost;
I found a bottle near the tools, another in the john …
How come you didn't mention you discovered they were gone?

Oh by the way, did you forget? (your mem'ries bad, it's true),
You promised to pick up your son from practice after school.
Don't worry, I will do it yet again, I always do …
I'll make a good excuse to why you can't … it's nothing new.

Another thing, I had a call - the principal no less,
It seems our son's been acting out and failing on some tests;
I'll mention it in therapy tomorrow when we're in,
Perhaps he just has A.D.D. and needs some Ritalin.

I know that we had plans tonight, but cancelled them again,
Our friends and family seem so nice, they always understand;
I said that you weren't feeling good, I guess it's sort of true,
At times like this, you're not yourself, but hey … what can you do?

*~*

I've fed the dog, picked up the kids, cut grass and fixed the sink,
I'm really kind of tired now, it's time for bed I think;
I'll see you in the morning dear, don't stay up too late now,
I know that I'll regret it, though I don't know why or how.

*~*

It's two am, you want to what? Just please, I want to sleep,
I have an early morning, and appointments I must keep;
Of course I love you, let it go - just close your eyes and rest,
Oh please don't start this argument again that I detest.

*~*

I'm weary … I don't want to talk, I'm tired of all this stress,
That's why I've left this note for you - the kids and I have "left".
I know you're sorry - heard it all, a million times before,
But when you passed out late last night, I stayed awake till four.

You see, I've done some thinking and I know what I must do,
I don't know why I couldn't see it all this time, it's true;
I closed my eyes, I took the blame for all that you have done,
I felt that I deserved it all ... protected everyone.

But last night was the final straw, you blew it, can't you see?
I'm sure you don't remember all the things you said to me;
I cannot take it anymore, I know I've said that too,
I only have "myself" to blame for coming back to you.

I'm begging you to get some help, but if you don't agree,
It doesn't matter anymore, I've left you … "finally" ...


/Kit McCallum


.


[This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 06-02-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Kit McCallum - All Rights Reserved
Interloper
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
1 posted 2001-06-02 03:29 PM


It takes great strength, and I do believe you've got it!

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. Philip Sidney (1554-1586) Loving in Truth


Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
2 posted 2001-06-02 03:38 PM


Powerful and touching at the same time. I wish your friend the best!

~Tier

Irish Rose
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since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

3 posted 2001-06-02 03:57 PM


Perfection  

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

[This message has been edited by Irish Rose (edited 06-02-2001).]

Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2001-06-02 05:07 PM


Kit~
This poignant piece is wonderfully done.

The quicker a spouse realizes 'it's not MY fault' another drinks ...
the better prepared they will be to carry on with their lives.

Your friend is fortunate to have a friend like you to hold their hand and their heart until they can maintain on their own.

Nicely done, poetess friend.
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                               noles1@totcon.com             

Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
5 posted 2001-06-02 05:14 PM


You've done a marvelous service...sometimes we would all intervene more, except for those excuses of time, effort, commitment and compassion...

I hope your friend finds the help she needs to get the help he needs [and of course, that is as interchangeable as the need be...]

Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
6 posted 2001-06-02 05:25 PM


Kit,
I can only comment on your talent and ability
and there is nothing lacking there. Sy

Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley
7 posted 2001-06-02 05:40 PM


Wow..this is powerful writing! Amazingly true to life. Brava!!!
JamesMichael
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since 1999-11-16
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Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2001-06-02 05:54 PM


If they have left who will this person blame now...perhaps themselves...and that would be the first step on the road to recovery...James
Nan
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Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
9 posted 2001-06-02 06:04 PM


Though this isn't autobiographical, you've surely seen this experience unfold... Alcoholism is quite an insidious affliction... usually affecting the kindest of souls... you've expressed such times artfully, m'friend..
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

10 posted 2001-06-02 06:22 PM


You know Kit...you really are a talented writer. Not writing in rhyme myself, I often don't feel 'qualified' to comment in depth on rhyming poetry...but suffice to say, this flows so well without seeming forced in any way...

One impressed   K



It is to do with tree-ferns:
mamuka, pongo, wheki.
Shelter under here is so easily understood.
From 'Hope', by Dinah Hawkins

[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 06-02-2001).]

Mysteria
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11 posted 2001-06-03 02:18 AM


Great poem Kit about an all to familiar problem...and your friend is indeed lucky to have you to lean on.  I have been "right in the thick of this", but did not wait too long and loose myself in it and left him.  Trust me, as the "other partner" you think you can fix it, it's your fault, or you have to stay for the kids, whatever excuse works to hang onto what is already dead.  The fact remains the only things you can't compete with are drugs, and alcohol these days without extensive councilling and even that doesn't work unless they are ready for help.  What everyone forgets is it is an illness, and a bad one!  Sorry for the ramble, but a sore spot with me - drinking drivers kill!  Great work.

~*~ Remember to tell someone today that you love them ~*~

Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

12 posted 2001-06-03 09:36 AM


I'm begging you to get some help, but if you don't agree,
It doesn't matter anymore, I've left you … "finally" ...
===========================

only we ... can set ourselves free...
Powerful poignant piece Kit....
you have captured and encompassed well the painful stark realities of living in this situation...FAR TOO MANY families live this cycle of pain...and unfortunatly...its one that is all to often passed on thru generations.
And as we live in a country that glorifies drinking and makes it look glamourous and cool on TV and in ads...the children are exposed to this mindset...
Look how many of the sports are sponsored/owned by the brewerys...
We cant go to a baseball game and not have a beer can we? why thats un-american!!
what about the guy who drinks 12 and then drives home.....
and have you seen the Spring Break events sponsored for the college kids...
pools filled with beer???? underage minors  given free liquor...it was on the world news.......
Sorry....dont mean to ramble nor offend...
I know the industry provides jobs and feeds families as well.......
but the politics and abuse make me crazy
this is a pet peeve and hits close to home for me from my own past........
I pray your friend has the strength and means of support to stay gone........
thank you Kit...
jm

I'm not right ... you're not wrong ...
Still I dont know ... what this love of ours is built upon.

Kit McCallum
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Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
13 posted 2001-06-03 10:27 AM


~Interloper:  Thank you Interloper, though I only provided the strength from a supportive level to her ... many, many hours on the phone - the decision was hers, and a very difficult one at that.

~Tiersdin:  It's a difficult situation Tiersdin, thank you for these kind words.

~Kathleen:  Thanks so much Kathleen, I'm very grateful you enjoyed.

~Marge:  Thank you for these wise words Marge. Unfortunately, it went on for years until she had the will to make the decision a few years back and did hold tight to her conviction. A recent situation brought all the memories to the forefront yet again.  Sad to say ... he continues on his destructive path. It's a sad, sad situation.

~Karilea: Thank you Karilea.  Unfortunately, the person who needs to read this would never even recognize themself in it. He's amazingly "without fault" to this day ...

~Seymour:  That means a great deal to me Sy, thank you so much for these encouraging words.

~Sharon:  Thanks Sharon ... I wish I didn't know it as closely as I do, but unfortunately, it affects so many people around the situation ...

~James:  Thank you James. It's been several years since the "finally" actually happened, and yet it's like yesterday. I wish I could say he has changed ...

~Nan:    Thanks so much Nan, and very thankfully this is not autobiographical, though I've lived it none the less, through her, and sadly so.

~Kamla:  What a wonderful compliment Kamla!  I've written both free verse and rhyme, but I just love the rhyming, rhythmical flow so much ... I always float back to it. Sometimes I'm afraid people don't take this form as seriously as others, so hearing this dear Kamla, means a lot to me. I appreciate these words a great deal.

~Mysteria:  So very true Mysteria. I'm sorry this was something you related to so closely, but am glad to hear you found the strength also. Many thanks for these wise and touching words.

~JanetMarie:  All very good points JM, and things I've thought about also. The advertising world really does tend to glorify the effects, though I've started to see some drunk driving campains that shock the viewer with the realities behind alcohol "abuse". Let's hope they get equal air-time ... thank you for your wisdom and understanding JM ...

Much appreciation to all,
/Kit

Jamie
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since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
14 posted 2001-06-03 04:14 PM


Wonderful words of support.. well done

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

Watersign6
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since 2001-05-25
Posts 823
Hurricane,WV
15 posted 2001-06-03 04:52 PM


this is an overwhelming an also very true
it was a good read but a little hard for me
since i can kina relate,my mom used to drink
an she was never violent but i just hated seeing her like that,she used alcohol to calm her nerves is what she said cuz she was very nervous around people out in public but
thank god she has been off of alcohol for
almost 3 years now,i am very proud of her
an what forced her to get off the beer was
her health now she has high blood pressure an isnt allowed to drink any alcohol or smoke
2 bad habits i am so happy she dont do anymore..I dont drink or smoke never have
never will either  

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
16 posted 2001-06-03 04:54 PM


Kit this is a wonderful story of support on your part and I know what the situation can be like as I come from a family full of alcoholics.......I always have to reccommend the book ....Seven Weeks to Sobriety.... by Joan Matthews Larsen.  This book is very modern and up to date effective method of fighting alcoholism and it can be found in any book store in America!

Great writing by the way!

Kit McCallum
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since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
17 posted 2001-06-03 05:01 PM


~Jamie:  Thank you Jamie, I'm very grateful you enjoyed.

~Watersign:  Thanks so much for taking the time to share this with me Watersign. It is very hard on all involved, and especially the children.  It's good to hear that your mother was able to make that difficult decision, and I applaud your decision to stay away from alcohol yourself. Many hugs to you for this heartening response ...

Much appreciation to you both,
/Kit

Kit McCallum
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since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
18 posted 2001-06-03 05:06 PM


~Ethome:  I'm sorry ... you must have been typing as I was responding.  Thank you for passing along the book and author. Al-Anon and their teen support group is also a very good program for those having to deal with this situation. It's startling to know how much of this affects so many. Thank you for your kind thoughts Ethome...

Much appreciation,
/Kit

Cerenity
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since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637
Escondido-California
19 posted 2001-06-03 10:34 PM


Hi Kit,

Just amazing your writing, you hit the heart every time, the subject is a hard one to deal with and you have convayed it so real like, your friend is very lucky to have you by thier side.

Love, Cerenity

"God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist.
We have to be reminded that He exist!"

(Writer Unknown)



Saunni
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since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777
West Virginia
20 posted 2001-06-03 11:57 PM


Kit, this is outstanding! What a way with words. I'm glad you made the move to go on.  

Sauni

Sauni :)
Have you ever known the color grey when the nighttime finds you weak
I have, I've walked that road each time; that's where my angel sleeps

Balladeer
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21 posted 2001-06-04 12:04 PM


Poetry is a very good way of making points and expressing thoughts which are otherwise very difficult to express....you, Kit, are a master at it and this poem is very hard-hitting and powerful in its message.....wonderful writing, my friend.
Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
22 posted 2001-06-04 01:32 AM


Great Writing, Kit...so real, so true.  Thank you for posting this.
EagleOne
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since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
23 posted 2001-06-04 03:08 AM


A very hard hitting piece, well done!

"Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our
feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly." ~unknown


Kit McCallum
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Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
24 posted 2001-06-04 05:15 AM


~Cerenity: Thank you so much for the many kind words Cerenity. I'm glad I was able to portray it realisticly for the purpose of the piece.

~Saunni:  Thank you Saunni ... I'm very glad she had the courage to move on also, thanks for enjoying this.

~Balladeer:   Thank you so much Michael. Sometimes I feel that the rhythmical nature lightens what can be an otherwise "too" dark piece. Although at times, it's difficult to find that balance. I'm glad it seems to have come across OK, I was a little nervous posting this one initially, but comments like these mean so much to me .. thank you 'deer friend.

~Martie:  You're welcome Martie, and thank you for letting me know how it came across, I really appreciate that, many thanks.

~EagleOne:  I was hoping it might have that type of quality to it EagleOne, thank you for letting me know the feeling you received, I'm very grateful.

Much appreciation to all,
/Kit

[This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 06-04-2001).]

suthern
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Louisiana
25 posted 2001-06-04 11:50 AM


I'm so glad the opinions polled gave you the green light to post. *S* For this is superb writing... and as the responses have shown, it's a subject that touches so many lives.

So 'scuse me... I have to stop typing so I can applaud. *S*

Kit McCallum
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Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
26 posted 2001-06-04 09:46 PM


~Suthern:  Awww .. thank you Suthern, I really appreciate all these kind words. Many, many hugs to you!  

Much appreciation,
/Kit

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