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Open Poetry #14
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Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2001-06-02 11:13 AM


Slipped into Dreams

A light rain woke me
to full alert
trying to decipher each small sound,
my ear off the pillow with intent.

Could not be rain
from a clean sky, I thought,
recalling yesterday’s blue.
But, what was that swept in
at dusk
and whipped the palm trees round?

I could hear its intent now,
as soft as midnight,
combing the leaves in the champhor tree.
I could hear them droop
and touch new air,
picture their small bright heads
glistening from the hall light.

Just before the sound of ground
sweet tranquility opened a silver spin of web
around me wrapped with jewels,
and slipped me into dreams of you.


In the dew of little things,
the heart finds its morning
and is refreshed.
(ee cummings)

[This message has been edited by Martie (edited 06-02-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Watersign6
Senior Member
since 2001-05-25
Posts 823
Hurricane,WV
1 posted 2001-06-02 11:16 AM


oh kool i get to be the first to read this an say how i enjoy it so,you are one gifted
poetess  

Interloper
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
2 posted 2001-06-02 11:16 AM


Beautiful.
Sweet dreams  

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. Philip Sidney (1554-1586) Loving in Truth


RMW
Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424

3 posted 2001-06-02 12:19 PM


Martie....Impossible to improve on Interloper's comment...so I will not try. Bob
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

4 posted 2001-06-02 12:21 PM


One thing I appreciate about your work is it's so clear and easy to read and the flow takes me along.  The images are clear and precise, specific I like that and it is an excellent work.
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
5 posted 2001-06-02 12:23 PM


Martie what a description/image this is....

                "Just before the sound of ground
                 sweet tranquility opened a silver spin of web
                 around me wrapped with jewels,
                 and slipped me into dreams of you."

Martie you are such a precious Poet...you see through the eyes of a poet!

Marge Tindal
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Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2001-06-02 12:38 PM


Martie~
You sweep me away with your imagery ...
a brush of gentleness in sway.
*Hugs*
Love ya'
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                               noles1@totcon.com             

Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
7 posted 2001-06-02 02:38 PM


Oh but if I could see through your eyes only once, just once!  Sweet dreams my friend.

~*~ Remember to tell someone today that you love them ~*~

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
8 posted 2001-06-02 02:42 PM


Just before the sound of ground
sweet tranquility opened a silver spin of web
around me wrapped with jewels,
and slipped me into dreams of you.


beautiful words, martie.

"difference between love and comfortis that comfort's more reliable and true
Brutal and mocking but always therea crutch for enmity's saddest glare"

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
9 posted 2001-06-02 05:06 PM


Martie,
This poem is as lovely as you. Sy

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
10 posted 2001-06-02 05:21 PM


what smiles you bring me as I say....when I grow up.... {~,^}

I do believe I've been Martinized yet again....

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

11 posted 2001-06-02 11:13 PM


I could hear its intent now,
as soft as midnight,
combing the leaves in the champhor tree.
I could hear them droop
and touch new air,
picture their small bright heads
glistening from the hall light.

Just before the sound of ground
sweet tranquility opened a silver spin of web
around me wrapped with jewels,
and slipped me into dreams of you.
==============================

that last verse is worth its weight in poetic gold....
this is wonderful imagery...and ya NEEDED the rain, right? *S*

Im looking at your last few poems...
are you trying a new style?
perhaps working on succinctity? or is it just me?  

Im searchin for my warrior
walkin the tracks of time
this struggle to seek forgiveness
like chains and shackles...these ghosts of mine

Auguste
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Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
12 posted 2001-06-02 11:27 PM


so pretty, Martie.  

Michael

Proust-
"Love is space and time measured by the heart"

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
13 posted 2001-06-02 11:54 PM


Watersign--thank you so much for such a nice comment.

Interloper--Yes they were.

Bob--thanks so much for letting me know.

Kathleen--I'm glad that this was so...appreciate you letting me know.

Eric--and your reply is precious to me.

Marge--love and hugs to you!

Sharon--You'd have to wear glasses to read...thanks for being so sweet.

Sunshine--If you don't ever grow up, then neither will I.

brian--I'm always glad to see you.

Sy--How nice..  

Janet--You are perceptive...so that part is you...the rest is the answer, yes.

Hi Michael...thanks for reading this, my friend, and for the pretty.

[This message has been edited by Martie (edited 06-02-2001).]

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