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Open Poetry #14
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OLIAS
Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa

0 posted 2001-06-01 05:33 PM


Older and Wiser ( my first sonnet )

I walked upon my worlds secluded sand,
Balanced the tightrope line twixt grit and foam,
And felt repressive darkness close at hand,
Ahead the promise of my hearth and home,
Behind the lofty cliffs I scaled in youth,
To conquer them my only goal in life,
But when in summits gained I stood aloof,
The climb did not equal the sacrifice,
The comfort found in ambitions repast,
Now leaves me hungry for a life unknown,
So now with hopeful heart I turn at last,
To plant a seed of love left long unsown,
A prodigals return to kith and kin,
To turn a page and start my life again.

Olias.


© Copyright 2001 Mick Yates - All Rights Reserved
Watersign6
Senior Member
since 2001-05-25
Posts 823
Hurricane,WV
1 posted 2001-06-01 05:42 PM


i enjoyed this very much,very good writing

Songbird
Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184
Missouri
2 posted 2001-06-01 06:26 PM


Hard to believe that is your first.. you really made it sound easy.. and I know it is not. Enjoyed the read.
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
3 posted 2001-06-01 06:31 PM


Salted with wisdom and beauty this is a great sonnet Olias!!  I really enjoyed the read!
inot2B
Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205
Arkansas
4 posted 2001-06-01 06:40 PM


Very good, you have written about what happens to alot of people. So many don't know how to turn it around and start again.
Enjoyed this very much.

Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
5 posted 2001-06-01 07:14 PM


Olias
Wonderful Sonnet.  Exceptionally done.

Poeminister

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2001-06-02 12:30 PM


The climb did not equal the sacrifice,
The comfort found in ambitions repast,
Now leaves me hungry for a life unknown,
So now with hopeful heart I turn at last,
To plant a seed of love left long unsown,
A prodigals return to kith and kin,
To turn a page and start my life again.
==============================

now YOU have my envy ...
this is so cool...you used such perfect phrases and vocab for this...
I havent worked up the confidence to try one of these yet...
wonderful write Olias...enjoy watching you grow.  
well done poet sir
take care
jm

Im searchin for my warrior
walkin the tracks of time
this struggle to seek forgiveness
like chains and shackles...these ghosts of mine

OLIAS
Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa
7 posted 2001-06-02 07:28 AM


Watersign6,

Thank you for your kind words, much appreciated.

Songbird,

Thank you, it took me a while to work out the rules but I enjoyed the discipline.

Ethome,

Thanks to you Beantown Bluesman, your reply spurs me on.

Inot2B,

I much appreciated your kind words, the enthusiasm of youth tempered with the wisdom of old age, and a few creaking bones.

Poetminster,

I'm glad you enjoyed, Thanks for your kind reply.

J.M.,

Hi there, Super poetess, Thanks for replying, I'm sure this form will flow from your pen with ease as do so many others, growing is often a painful process but your words ease the experience.

Regards and best wishes to all,

Olias.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
8 posted 2001-06-02 08:19 AM


Olias, I have tried my hand at sonnets, many failures...

You make it look so easy...so I shall sigh try yet again....

Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

9 posted 2001-06-02 10:45 AM


a lovely sonnet..hard to believe its your first...you are a natural..

                  ~Victoria~

        


Every child is an artist. The challenge is to remain an artist once he grows up.

Pablo Picasso


OLIAS
Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa
10 posted 2001-06-02 09:44 PM


Sunshine,
Thanks for your reply, I agree I found it a very difficult form and I found that I had to almost write a synopsis of what I wanted to convey first which doesnt leave alot for artistic improvisation, I'm sure that if such as I can make an attept you will excell.

Victoria,

Thank you for your kind response, not the easiest thing I've had to tackle I must admit but in the long run most rewarding.

Regards to you both
Olias.

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