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Open Poetry #14
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Interloper
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Deep in the heart

0 posted 2001-06-01 01:48 PM



this our dilemma
honesty is truth to self
and integrity
is the truth you show others
soul's integrity
requires truthfulness with self
else integrity is dead


Live for love. Without love, you don't live.

[This message has been edited by Interloper (edited 06-01-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 The Tall Texan aka Doctor Love - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
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1 posted 2001-06-01 02:32 PM


LOVED the part about soul's integrity--honest self evaluation is essential. Thoughtful piece here!
Mysteria
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British Columbia, Canada
2 posted 2001-06-01 03:02 PM


This should be a plaque in every huge corporation world-wide, well said!

~*~ I write ~ Therefore I am ~*~

~*~Please remember to tell someone you love them today~*~

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
3 posted 2001-06-01 03:06 PM


I got to say you've got it just write~if you know what I mean.....good job!
Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
4 posted 2001-06-01 03:10 PM


Truly, truly.  This likes me very much.  Well done.

JCGF
Member
since 2001-01-19
Posts 72
MA
5 posted 2001-06-01 03:26 PM


I like it too.  Thanks again.

Tammy

Interloper
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Deep in the heart
6 posted 2001-06-01 03:31 PM


serenity ~ Thank you.  I try to think at least once a week  

Mysteria ~ Amen.

ethome ~ Yore absolutely write   Thanx my friend.

poeminister ~ Yes, it does  

JCGF ~ I am glad.  Thank you.


Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. Philip Sidney (1554-1586) Loving in Truth


Professor Gloom
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since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
7 posted 2001-06-01 04:33 PM


This quite good,
But a Tanka is usually considered
A five line poem of  5-7-5-7-7 ,
Yours add an extra 5-7.
But what ever called I liked it.


The original pattern of Tanka (short poem) established centuries ago
was a length of twelve sound-units, pausing after the fifth and seventh unit.
Two twelve-unit segments were joined, with the closure a final seven-sound phrase added. This means that a Tanka has three parts and each one capable of standing alone.

this our dilemma
honesty is truth to self

and integrity
is the truth you show others

soul's integrity
requires truthfulness with self
else integrity is dead

You have the three sections of the Tanka.

Gloom

[This message has been edited by Professor Gloom (edited 06-01-2001).]

Interloper
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Deep in the heart
8 posted 2001-06-01 06:17 PM


Acutally, professor, a Tanka can be of any length as long as it starts 57 as a senryu or a Haiku.  It must end 77.  Therefore, it could be 57577 or 5757577, etc.

Furthermore, it could be on the form of 35 with the same rules as above.  It just takes more skill.

Thanks for the comment and I'm glad you liked it  

Of course, I could be wrong.  And, if I am, I will call this form the "Interloper."

Sayonara.


Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. Philip Sidney (1554-1586) Loving in Truth

[This message has been edited by Interloper (edited 06-01-2001).]

SEA
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with you
9 posted 2001-06-01 07:36 PM


Ohhhhhh   I like Interloper's form   *wink wink....nudge nudge* You rock sweetie!  
Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
10 posted 2001-06-01 07:47 PM


What's in a name when the words are right...

Love it dearly my friend

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace&naventryid=100

Mabel A. Dilley
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 859
Seattle, WA, USA
11 posted 2001-06-01 08:50 PM


Short form, is a favorite of mine. The discipline of thought always hooks me. In this we have an additional gift - the one of integrity.

"I am not now that which I have been."

Interloper
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Deep in the heart
12 posted 2001-06-02 10:45 AM


SEA ~ You are a constant source of inspiration to me.  
Bless you, darlin'


Titia ~ You are fast becoming one of my favorite readers.
Thank you

Julian ~ Amen!

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. Philip Sidney (1554-1586) Loving in Truth


BrightStar
Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 219

13 posted 2001-06-03 11:30 AM


Be true to your self.
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
14 posted 2001-06-03 11:33 AM


Great stuff!!! And how does one teach integrity...by example only is surely the case.  Well done!!!
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
15 posted 2001-06-03 02:36 PM


You have said a mouthful!!!!  Great job!!!!  The answers to life's questions always lie within.

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

BrightStar
Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 219

16 posted 2001-06-03 08:07 PM


This really is good and should go back


Admiring you at Passions.

[This message has been edited by BrightStar (edited 06-03-2001).]

Martie
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17 posted 2001-06-03 08:13 PM


Thoughtful poem, Interloper...well done!
Interloper
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Deep in the heart
18 posted 2001-06-03 08:14 PM


BrightStar ~ I try

VAS ~ Thanx  

Lone Wolf ~ There I go "talking" with my mouth full again  

BrightStar ~ *blush*


Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. Philip Sidney (1554-1586) Loving in Truth

[This message has been edited by Interloper (edited 06-03-2001).]

Interloper
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Deep in the heart
19 posted 2001-06-03 08:16 PM


Martie ~ Sorry I missed you.  THanks for the thought

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. Philip Sidney (1554-1586) Loving in Truth


rosepetals25
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20 posted 2001-06-06 09:49 PM


Interloper,

      How true this is. Well done, strong poem.. stronger message.

TaraB

kaile
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singapore
21 posted 2001-06-06 10:16 PM


Interloper's form...LOL...

i was taught that the syllable count for a tanka is 5-7-5-7-7 but anyway, i honestly think that this is one of the best tankas i have come across so far...

to my library this goes..keep thinking, all right...

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
22 posted 2001-06-06 10:20 PM


very nice... enjoyed these words much...


Lauren~


***

Nothing Beautiful In This World
Is Ever Really Lost
All Things Beloved
Live on In Our Hearts...Forever."


Interloper
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Deep in the heart
23 posted 2001-06-07 09:07 AM


rosepetals25 ~ What a wonderful comment.  thank you  

faterider ~ I think this is your first visit to my work.  Thank you.  
I think that "form name" has a ring to it, don't you?


Greeneyes ~ Thanks for stopping by

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. Philip Sidney (1554-1586) Loving in Truth


Charisma
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lost in blue pages
24 posted 2001-06-08 09:03 AM


oh my.....I love this interloper form....or tanka form....or whateva....glad that i've found it as I love these lines that you've wrote here....

((hugs))
Charisma

Interloper
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Deep in the heart
25 posted 2001-06-08 10:05 AM


Charisma ~ *sigh*  Thank you for the hugs

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. Philip Sidney (1554-1586) Loving in Truth


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