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Open Poetry #14
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Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion

0 posted 2001-05-30 11:06 PM



On You

It roils inside the well of me,
agitates down to bedrock
to surface parboiled,
quaking every cell,
from within
to pores of skin,
saps all strength
in an aching rush
of spinning race
and forces me
to face you.

The emotion
focused,
fuses into one
sad, sad song.

© 2001 Corinne Bailey

[This message has been edited by Corinne (edited 05-30-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Corinne - All Rights Reserved
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

1 posted 2001-05-30 11:13 PM


what outstanding images and expression in every word and the ending...perfect.

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


Logan
Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641
Arkansas
2 posted 2001-05-30 11:15 PM


Ah, dearest Cor, sad songs drift across desert sand until they are lost in the wind of new melodies..you always have been so talented..as ever was...gentle smile
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
3 posted 2001-05-31 08:47 AM


Corrine....what a beautiful, haunting piece of poetry  

~ Ruth
www.angelfire.com/pa/OriginalMinds/index.html  

RMW
Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424

4 posted 2001-05-31 10:58 AM


Cor....."Tears and Laughter"...Kahlil Gibran. (He might have added....fill the heart with joy...(small J in joy). A lovely poem, as always.  Bob
vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
5 posted 2001-05-31 10:59 AM


enjoy
JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

6 posted 2001-05-31 11:24 AM


The coming together of this...the focus to sadness, was intensely received.  Well done!
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
7 posted 2001-05-31 11:30 AM


This is sad but your use of metaphors and adjectives to describe that sadness is wonderful.....such descriptive language, I really enjoyed this piece very much!
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
8 posted 2001-05-31 11:30 AM


Thank you, Kathleen, for such kind words.

Logan, wonderful to have you near again, my friend, although you've never left my side!
And thank you. I'm thinking another visit to the desert, when the heat takes its leave...October is a perfect time to go.

Ruth - thank you!

Bob, Such comfort in your words, joy with a small "j." Would that it could be "J" as large as life! Thank you, my friend.

Thank you Joy, Vandana and JLR!

Corinne



brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
9 posted 2001-05-31 01:28 PM


powerful words wonderfully crafted piece I hope this sadness quickly passes.

"difference between love and comfortis that comfort's more reliable and true
Brutal and mocking but always therea crutch for enmity's saddest glare"

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

10 posted 2001-06-02 09:31 AM


Very well expressed, Corinne! I can always 'feel' your words!
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
11 posted 2001-06-02 10:31 AM


and when the song is done. . . ?

ah, but only you know don't you my friend?  excellent writing here. . . superb emotion. . . .

-------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
12 posted 2001-06-02 11:52 AM


Corinne~
Vivid imagery emoted here.
Very, very nicely done.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                               noles1@totcon.com             

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
13 posted 2001-06-03 12:52 PM


Thank you, Brian and Denise!

Sven, when the song is done, another comes along to take it's place, I suppose. Or the responsibilities of life come flooding back, and push the emotions aside.

A wise man once gave me his mantra:  "cold, steely resolve, cold steely resolve."


Thank you, Marge!

Cor

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