»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #14
»
Inner Struggle
| Open Poetry #14 |
|
Inner Struggle |
|
|
StarPhantasy New Member
since 2001-05-29
Posts 5Louisiana, USA |
Ok people. I am going to give this a try. My friend referred me here and it looks awesome, so here goes.... "Inner Struggle" What is it I am doing here, am I on a quest? I quest I think to find myself, until then I shall not rest. I feel complete when I'm with him, voided when apart, I've known him not for very long, but yet he has my heart. I am a fool for thinking this, that he feels the same way too, He told me things that made me melt, I just pray that they were true. It's not that I do not trust him, my trust I gave in full, It's just that it means so much, to this love stricken bull. Capricorn and Taurus, the signs - a perfect match, But I do not get excited, because you know there's always a catch. He is just so sweet and beautiful, I don't think he realizes, That for him I'd do anything, no matter what the price is. I fell for him like a falling star, and still I do not stop, I am just waiting to hit the bottom, the end of this sudden drop. To quote a well known movie, "He had me at hello", Now I lie awake in wonder...how far does the rabbit hole go? I want him to show me, make my dreams come true, but I am afraid I'll scare him away, then he won't be able to. I cannot bring myself to tell him, what then could I say? I love you more with each passing moment, with me will you stay? I'd sound crazy and he'd up and leave, then I'd be alone again, There are many others out there, but it's his heart I wish to win. Win is almost the wrong word, this is not a game, But what if he does not care one bit, That…would be a shame. I don't mean that, I know he cares, well, at least I want him to, Now I think, when he leaves, then, what will I do? I was stupid, I grew attached, a thing I should not have done, Now I see from all this mess, that he's the smarter one. I tell him how I feel, cuz that's the way I am, Look what I've done to myself, I'm in quite a jam. Well, what now? What can I do, for him I guess I'll wait, I hope the future is bright for us, but that's in the hands of fate…….. )*E*( |
||
| © Copyright 2001 StarPhantasy - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I like that..."how far does the rabbit hole go" I really enjoyed reading this with the flow of emotions peaking and dropping. Wonderful yearning lines......very well done! Welcome to Passions! |
||
|
StarPhantasy New Member
since 2001-05-29
Posts 5Louisiana, USA |
ethome, Thank you! Truthfully I have never shared any of my poetry with anyone besides close friends before. I guess I was scared of what others had to say, or if they would like it. I am by all means not one of the greatest poets alive, but i am hoping to grow in with the help of people like you! thanks again. |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Welcome to Passions, Star! A great beginning as an intro, I look forward to reading more! Please, check your e-mail for a special message! Karilea |
||
|
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
You will find that the majority here are very upbuilding and kind. We are not here trying to be the greatest of poets in the world but trying to be our best within ourselves. Always remember to comment on others works as it gives them a feeling of pride and satisfaction to recieve praise from their peers. I really enyoyed your poem and hope you will continue with your writing! The role of poetry is to utter the un-utterable; to open up |
||
|
Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
I think you wrote a lovely poem. This hesitation.... I've been there many times (long ago though LOL  ) It may go either way, but that's life I guess.Well done and welcome to Passions Titia A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... |
||
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
and all we can do is hope. . . welcome Star, I'm sure that you'll find that you will feel at home here. . . I know that we all do. . . looking forward to reading more of your work. . .  -------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Welcome to the family. While there are some errors in your poem, I have to tell you that I read with my heart and not my head. I enjoyed the feelings you portrayed in this poem. I hope you feel comfortable enough to share more of your work with us. We don't bite, well there are one or two that do but we have a 'poet bite kit' for that!!  |
||
|
Watersign6 Senior Member
since 2001-05-25
Posts 823Hurricane,WV |
this was a incredibly good poem an i cant wait to read more from you |
||
|
StarPhantasy New Member
since 2001-05-29
Posts 5Louisiana, USA |
Thank you guys so much! I really appreciate the vote of confidence. I try my hardest. And Poet, if it wouldn't be too much trouble, could you point out the errors you were talking about? I'd really appreciate it and it would help alot! Thanks again, )*E*( |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
