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Open Poetry #14
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Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095


0 posted 2001-05-27 06:10 PM


Tide washed


The tide
haunts me with
her every arrival
moment
       after
         moment
foaming memories
to the shore
stolen with selfishness

busily my fingers
comb the coolness
of isolated sand
once warm
once alive
captured and etched
with loving

tide washed

our mark
threatened
too deep I suppose
for the shallowness
of the shore

and we ran a rivulet
into the sea
lost and surrendered
in the arms of jealousy

Angel of Darkness
28/5/01




© Copyright 2001 Dark Angel - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2001-05-27 06:42 PM


to the shore
stolen with selfishness


busily my fingers
comb the coolness
of isolated sand
once warm
once alive
captured and etched
with loving


======================
and we ran a rivulet
into the sea
lost and surrendered
in the arms of jealousy
==================

superb imagery and use of metaphor here DA
you have some great phrases and elemental comparisons in this bittersweet write.
well done poetess angel  

I'm hanging on your every word
Even if you dont want to speak tonite
It's alright
I'm sitting outside heaven's door
listening to you breathe

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

2 posted 2001-05-27 07:20 PM


enjoyed it all but those last lines?  Sheer heaven.

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
3 posted 2001-05-27 08:18 PM


Love it, yes, yes, yes,

Titia

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-05-28 12:34 PM


beautiful piece...overall it was wonderful but the last verses was amazing...this was a very well writtin one...i really liked it and thanks for sharing it  

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?


[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-28-2001).]

pamela08
Junior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 27
California,USA
5 posted 2001-05-28 12:40 PM


fascinating use of words....great poem over all

true beauty comes from within not from without

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
6 posted 2001-05-28 01:07 AM


Wow! Maree this is incredible!! I love it.    
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

7 posted 2001-05-28 01:56 AM


Hey - but I still have the photos with the writing - several of them!!!

So, really..it can't be taken away hon...lol...

You m'friend, did a damn good job here...you really have...have I mentioned lately that I'm really proud of you?

Hugs and loves

K


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
8 posted 2001-05-28 01:58 AM


Great write, Maree...so glad to read one of your poems again!
Watersign6
Senior Member
since 2001-05-25
Posts 823
Hurricane,WV
9 posted 2001-05-28 08:26 AM


really enjoyed your poem,very good indeed  
JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

10 posted 2001-05-28 09:29 AM


our mark
threatened
too deep I suppose
for the shallowness
of the shore

Impressive!

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
11 posted 2001-05-28 04:34 PM


and we ran a rivulet
into the sea
lost and surrendered
in the arms of jealousy

speechless WOW

"you are what you own in this land, you can be king and it all depends on the view and what you can see"  Whipping boy

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

12 posted 2001-05-28 07:40 PM


JM, I thank you so vry much for your lovely reply, I do appreciate it so  

Kathleen, thank you so much, glad you enjoyed  

Titia, Girl, I'll have what you're having!!!! Gald you loved it  

Albert, glad you liked it, thanks for stopping by and having a read  

Pamela, I thank you so much  

Sharon, thank you so much hon   Glad you loved it  

SB, yes I have them too
you are really proud of me? Yes hon you just did, mention it to me hehehe, just now lol

Thanks so much hon
Mmy


Hi Martie   Thank you for stopping by.  


Watersign6, I thank you  

JLR, happy to have impressed you!   Thank you.

Brian, it's quite a compliment if my poem has you speechless  
I thank you  


Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
13 posted 2001-05-28 07:45 PM


Maree
This was absolutely beautiful, I loved it.
Take care......Sue

Suetang

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
14 posted 2001-05-28 08:17 PM


This is so full of sadness, I feel that lonliness. (or is that just my reading of this?)
I love the ocean, and have spent so many days and nights with this feeling, while gazing out at the water. Hm, I appear to be babbling, sorry. This one touched me greatly.
Sandra

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
15 posted 2001-05-28 09:17 PM


the tide may be able to wash away etchings in the sand-- but the words remain, as this beautiful poem demonstrates..... love it MM

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
16 posted 2001-05-29 07:58 AM


o yuh love this alotI am gonna go wash some clothes with Tide
Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
17 posted 2001-05-29 12:07 PM


Yuh Walt.. it is much better than Surf!
You are a funny guy!  

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
18 posted 2001-05-29 12:11 PM


Most excellent...

Maree,
My regards,
sudhir

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
19 posted 2001-05-29 06:59 PM


Woohoo! I love it!  

What spectacular imagery!

<*\\\><    
Know Jesus, Know Peace
No Jesus, No Peace

I don't question YOUR existance - GOD


SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

20 posted 2001-05-29 09:17 PM


~Pleased to have visited. And thankful for the words I have read. The ending cuts deep. And your words have always impressed me. - Please know that I am thankful for all the recent visits and comments from you.     Truly. *Peace.
furlong
Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 129

21 posted 2001-05-30 05:05 PM


somehow DA the sound reminds me of the sea, this was well written

it took me back

F

Logan
Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641
Arkansas
22 posted 2001-05-30 09:52 PM


ahh, DA, you have brought me back to the love of my life, the sea, with smiling memories of beaches here and there..thank you for this...gentle smile
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

23 posted 2001-05-31 05:15 PM


Suetang, Thanks so much for your lovely reply  

Catalinamoon, I am so glad my poem touched you   and you may babble with me anytime  

Jamie, thanks for you lovely reply   but, words do not always remain m'friend.

Walty, Tide?, I think Surf is better heheh...Thank you Dear, glad you liked  

Jamie, nahhh Surf is better than Tide lol, he is a funny guy isnt he?

Sudi, I thank you very much  

Hey Angel   I thank you for your lovely reply hon   Many Hugs!

Spitfire, I thank you for stopping by and having a read   and for your lovely reply. I only wished that I had not missed reading you.  

Furlong, glad my poem was able to take you back   I am glad you liked it. I thank you.

Logan you are most welcome, glad to have taken you back. I thank you for your lovely reply.

I'd like to thank everyone for stopping by and takiung the time to read and for your wonderful replies. I do appreciate them so  

Maree

[This message has been edited by Dark Angel (edited 05-31-2001).]

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
24 posted 2001-06-05 11:10 PM


quote:
Jamie, thanks for you lovely reply     but, words do not always remain m'friend.



sure they do dear,,, once they have been read they are a part of you.  

of course that is just my opinion...heh

love ya hon

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

25 posted 2001-06-06 05:53 AM


"of course that is just my opinion...heh"

Indeed it is  

Maree

[This message has been edited by Dark Angel (edited 06-06-2001).]

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
26 posted 2001-06-12 09:56 PM


Maree~
I'm sorry that I haven't seen this before now!  Incredible imagery, I loved
"and we ran a rivulet
into the sea
lost and surrendered
in the arms of jealousy"

Truly thoughtful and deep writing, my friend, excellent.  

*Krista Knutson*

"Touched ths mirror, broke the surface of the water,
Saw my true self, all illusions shattered..." ~Tracy Chapman

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