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Passions in Poetry

A Love Story

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Martie
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0 posted 05-26-2001 07:10 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

This poem is taken from two poems (previously posted), that have been revised and put together...they are rewritten as poetry from a novel that one day I hope to complete, but now is only half way there.

A Love Story

One summer day
hot and humid,
she, with windows open,
fans going, was standing
letting the air blow
an ice cube
up and down her arms,
around her neck,
eyes closed.

Thinking, a man
to run his finger up her arm
like this ice cube,
making goose bumps
as a knock
on the door made her jump,
feeling guilty somehow
for her thoughts.

On the porch,
was a man looking with a grin
at her feelings, she thought,
selling Bibles, he said.
She watched his face, not listening.
The way his lips moved,
the straight line of his teeth,
the crease that appeared,
then disappeared
from the corner of his eye.
She had wished for a man
and this one had appeared.

He told her about college
and selling Bibles door to door
to support himself
to help his family.
He told her about his 3 young sisters
and one brother,
how his mom was sick
his dad having trouble.

She bought a Bible, of course.
She bought a Bible,
even though she already had one.
How could she not buy a Bible
from this man?
It would be almost sacrilegious.
She would have bought anything from him.

Usually, words flowed from her
like music
from an early morning song bird.
How to make him stay,
after the Bible was in her hand
and the dull day was threatening return?

The ice melted slowly in her hand
making a wet spot on the bodice of her dress
as she clutched it to her bosom.
She had thought of the heat
and this man trudging with his
sacred suitcase full of the Word,
and the ice slowly melting
on her chances.

He had stayed
drinking ice tea
as shadows fell on the day
and the afternoon breeze
curled the pages
of the Bible.
that lay on the table between them.

They were married in the spring
and they had just planted a garden,
when he was drafted.

She kept him safe under her pillow
where is love touched her
with long and passionate letters.

Killing was not in him
and he was sick
from the fear of it, he said.

He had seen his friend turn
in the middle of a laugh
into a land mine and disappear.
After that he kept to himself
afraid friendship
would breed more pain.

One cool evening
as she turned the bed down
and touched the stack of envelops
as tenderly as skin,
she was with him.

She was with him
in the trenches watching
the quiet of the morning.
She could hear the birds,
her loveís loud breathing
and a frantic heart beat.

Was it his?  Was it hers?

Be still, she said.
He didnít hear her
for he was running up the hill
away, away,

then the hill exploded
like red rain.
    

[This message has been edited by Martie (edited 05-26-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Martie Odell-Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
RMW
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since 03-21-2001
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1 posted 05-26-2001 07:20 PM       View Profile for RMW   Email RMW   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RMW

Martie.....I held my breath throughout. Excellent. Bob
Martie
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2 posted 05-26-2001 11:52 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Thank you, Bob, but I think this too long for breath-holding.   I do appreciate your read and reply.
JLR
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since 02-04-2001
Posts 1851


3 posted 05-27-2001 12:33 AM       View Profile for JLR   Email JLR   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JLR

I just knew this wasn't going to have a happy ending...a fine write, nonetheless.
Mysteria
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since 03-07-2001
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British Columbia, Canada


4 posted 05-27-2001 02:10 AM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Well I have to tell you I loved this:
and the ice slowly melting
on her chances.
You have to love a girl who acts before the ice melts.  Martie this is a lovely story, puts me in mind of Bridges of Madison County (the same feeling I mean), all warm and wonderful.  Thank you for a nice evening read.

~*~ I write ~ Therefore I am ~*~
Homepage: [URL=http://www.mysteria-poetry.cityslide.com/contents/contents.cfm/451673]http://www.mysteria-poetry.city

Janet Marie
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since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


5 posted 05-27-2001 12:50 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

and I want to be in line for the first edition autographed copy...
and I can say I know a #1 bookseller list writer  
this did indeed make the reader hold their breath... as they inhaled your words
me

I'm hanging on your every word
Even if you dont want to speak tonite
It's alright
I'm sitting outside heaven's door
listening to you breathe

Sunshine
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since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


6 posted 05-27-2001 12:55 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

No...not too long to hold one's breath, but thank goodness, I didn't drown...yet

more, please...
brian madden
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since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


7 posted 05-27-2001 12:59 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

WOW WOW WOW WOW

ok now that I have got my breath back

WOW WOW WOW

This was amazing, I look forward to redaing the novel when it is published. OK off to catch my breath back.  

"you are what you own in this land, you can be king and it all depends on the view and what you can see"  Whipping boy

Irish Rose
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since 04-06-2000
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8 posted 05-27-2001 03:05 PM       View Profile for Irish Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irish Rose

thankyou, Martie, for a wonderful read

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
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Florida's Foreverly Shores


9 posted 05-27-2001 03:51 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Martie~
Get your little fanny off here and go finish that novel !
How are we going to get it published if you don't finish it ????????

Muchly lovely ... sweet lady.
Now git !
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
††††††††††††††††††††††††††††   noles1@totcon.com ††††††††††††

JamesMichael
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since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


10 posted 05-27-2001 03:57 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

Interesting Martie...James
Auguste
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By the sea


11 posted 05-29-2001 11:53 PM       View Profile for Auguste   Email Auguste   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Auguste's Home Page   View IP for Auguste

Martie,

I've read the novel.  You've done justice to it well in this poem, my friend.  Fine work.  

Michael

Proust-
"Love is space and time measured by the heart"

suthern
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on the threshold of a dream


12 posted 05-30-2001 10:01 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Martie: Dear lady, I wouldn't ordinarily argue with you... but this could have been twice the length and my breath would still be held. Time simply stopped with the first line... and the ending would have left me gasping even if my lungs had been operating. *S*

Dear heavens, woman, you can WRITE!!!! *G* Ta hell with waiting for the book... couldja please send me your autograph NOW? *G* I don't need a best seller list to recognize greatness... and that's one "sure thing" investment! *G* On the other hand... I wouldn't miss your book for the world... so put me on that list for a first edition, personally inscribed copy...  

This is awesome, Martie.
Elizabeth Santos
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since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


13 posted 05-30-2001 10:19 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Dear Martie,
How could one ever forget the ending to this poem. It has stuck in my mind from the first time I read it. I still remember the time I asked you if you ever thought of writing a novel. I had only read a few of your poems at the time. I hope you do write your novel, just think how many copies you've already sold, all the poets who are familiar with your work. You always astound me with your talents. You are truely an exceptional writer
Liz
ethome
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since 05-14-2000
Posts 11545
New Brunswick Canada


14 posted 05-30-2001 10:29 AM       View Profile for ethome   Email ethome   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ethome's Home Page   View IP for ethome

I hope you do finish that novel because I want a copy for sure! This is amazing writing Martie. You are a clever poet with such a big heart!

On the lighter side of things I just have to write this one down for you.

A man that stuttered answered a newspaper ad asking for a sales rep. to sell Bibles.
When he came in for an interview he was asked the usual questions and the manager perceiving that he stuttered badly said he didn't think he could do the job.
But the job seeking man insisted saying." I   I  I re re re ally ne ne need a a job."
So the manager thought oh what the heck I'll let him try. What have I got to lose. So he gave him five Bibles and sent him out into the sales field.
In less than an hour the man returned and asked for five more Bibles....he sold those in less than an hour and returned and asked for ten the next time.  This went on all day and the man sold over thirty-five Bibles.
On his last trip back the manager stopped him and asked, "I have people that have worked for me for ten years and no one has ever sold more than fifteen Bibles in a day, please tell me how are you doing it!"
The new sales rep said...I I I g g go to th the dddoor a an sssay I I'm se se sellin B B Bibles tw tw twenty ddd oo lars. w w w  would yyyou lik like ttto bbuy one o o or dddo ya wwwant me tttto rrrread it tto ya!
VAS
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since 11-16-2000
Posts 7440
Oregon


15 posted 05-30-2001 10:39 AM       View Profile for VAS   Email VAS   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for VAS

Poignantly done, Martie.  The foreshadowing was certainly there of what the outcome would be, but you have brought about a bonding of the reader to the characters and hope sustains the reading.  The reader knows what will be yet s/he cannot turn away until all hope is satisfied or, alas, gone.
Sudhir Iyer
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since 04-26-2000
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Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


16 posted 05-30-2001 10:58 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

Oh My, This is fantastically written, my friend, Martie...

regards to you,
Sudhir
Martie
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17 posted 05-30-2001 11:00 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

JLR--Thank you so much for reading and for the fine comment.

Sharon--Thank you for the compliment..I enjoyed that book so much.

Janet--You make me smile.

Karilea--More?  That's the problem..I got stuck, but I think your comments here and the others may help unstick me...thanks.

brian--thank you for all those wows!

Thank you Kathleen for reading.

Marge--Thank you sis..for the loving nudge.

James--Glad you found the interest. Thankyou.

Michael--thanks so much.  Your opinion means alot to me.

Ruth dear...good heavens, you just made my day.  Hugs!

Liz--thank you for such kind and supportive words.

Ethome--You have given me a big smile with your bbbible story...thanks.

VAS--That is just what I wanted. Thank you so much for letting me know I succeeded.


Martie
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18 posted 05-30-2001 11:05 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Sudhir--you must have posted just as I was..thank you so much for the kind reply and especially for the "my friend".
Kevo
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since 06-02-2004
Posts 470
Navarro County, Texas, USA


19 posted 06-13-2004 05:08 PM       View Profile for Kevo   Email Kevo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Kevo's Home Page   View IP for Kevo

This poem gave me goosebumps.  It was closely related to the poem of mine you replied to as promised.  It really touched me.  It's so nice when others validate the sacrifice of heroes by remembering them, by writing about them, by immortalizing them in love and compassion.  You do all of that here with an exceptional twist capitalizing on something all too often overlooked...from the point of view quietly, yet impatiently, waiting at home.  I loved this poem and am so incredibly glad that you fed it to me in the email.  I would have never seen it otherwise.  Thank you for allowing me to share in your thoughts today.

Kevin
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