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Open Poetry #14
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VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2001-05-26 12:02 PM


Down Into the Rabbit Hole
Virginia Salter

The following was written after watching half of "The Matrix"



in the mirror
who I am, or who I see?
there, the one
looking back at me

in her eyes
I see her stand
in the glass
a raise of hand

on the right
as left I see
scribe of pen
around and deep

depth of mind
in 3-D glows
reaching through
to what mind knows

guessing, wondering
what is this image there
the one looking backing at me
in a mindless stare

is this the one
others can see?
is she the one
I profess to be?

spinning thoughts
streaming dreams
looking glass portals
to great extremes

pulling, pulling
with all my might
who will be
within tonight?

and who, without,
will be in view
when I’m seen by me
when I’m seen by you?



©May 26, 2001


My daughter's here for the weekend!!!
Therefore it would be rude to stay on here all day, so I'll see you late tonight after she retires, if I still have my eyes open.    I will spend a little time here, this a.m. though.

[This message has been edited by VAS (edited 05-26-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Virginia Salter - All Rights Reserved
Cerenity
Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637
Escondido-California
1 posted 2001-05-26 12:13 PM


Hi VAS,

This is great, don't you love it when something just comes flowing in to mind after movies or music ect. and have a great time with your daughter,

Love, Cerenity

"God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist.
We have to be reminded that He exist!"

(Writer Unknown)



Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
2 posted 2001-05-26 01:13 PM


I like this.  Well done!


Siofra
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-28
Posts 551
State of Suspended Passion
3 posted 2001-05-27 03:01 AM


I like the questions and the thought of mirrors here.
expecting an Alice in Wonderland theme, but I got a surprise. enjoyed

I am many.

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
4 posted 2001-05-27 06:38 AM


Too good to pass up.

still d-i-s-c-o-n-n-e-c-t-e-d
I am bound by this, you see...to become Night's sole mistress, and I am jealous in my endeavours for his attention.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
5 posted 2001-05-27 07:03 AM


Love the poem ! It draws one back into younger days. Most of all I love how you sum it up!

                                     "spinning thoughts
                                      streaming dreams
                                     looking glass portals
                                      to great extremes

                                        pulling, pulling
                                       with all my might
                                         who will be
                                       within tonight?

                                      and who, without,
                                        will be in view
                                     when I’m seen by me
                                    when I’m seen by you?"

Great conclusion!

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
6 posted 2001-05-27 08:32 AM


Thank you all, this surprised me, too, Siofra, it's different than most of mine. And ethome, thank you for the reassurance, I struggled in closing this piece and your words make me feel I succeeded.  Isn't it strange how the wind-up for a pitcher and a writer are totally opposite.    Cerenity, most of my poems seem to flow onto the page, that is until I try to find the end of them.  
Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
7 posted 2001-06-09 09:43 PM



Yes, I agree, a great conclusion and flow.  Virginia, this is a clever use of a theme, you certainly drew from quite the inspiration.  This is the most unique poem that I have seen from you, and I am impressed  

Take care,
Melissa~

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
8 posted 2001-06-10 02:53 PM


i can't comment constructively enough

will be back for another read...

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
9 posted 2001-06-10 09:26 PM


A wonderful poem, full of thought-provoking ponderings Virginia ... I really enjoyed this!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
10 posted 2001-06-10 10:34 PM


VAS,

this is one of the poems in which i wish that i am more articulate to express my thoughts and emotions so that i can write more than the usual "very nice read...well done!!" respond

but i will try...

i like this stanza very much:
is this the one
others can see?
is she the one
i profess to be?

been there, felt that...i always want to present a true and honest me yet NOT all of me...a constant challenge for me..



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