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Open Poetry #14
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Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635


0 posted 2001-05-24 02:00 PM


origins

in start
of
innocence
in a sense

thus
beginning
in commence

a birthing by right
soft comes
thy cry at night

proffer then

thy hand

and thy word
dear heart
becomes my
nucleus’
command

and in wind
wound me not
but combine
all given thought
to this
great feat
as bequeathed
complete

in start
thus beginning
a birthing
by right


© Copyright 2001 Decaflame - All Rights Reserved
Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
1 posted 2001-05-24 02:32 PM


Deca--Interesting thoughts.  Enjoyed the read.

Poeminister

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
2 posted 2001-05-24 02:44 PM


I will not even begin that I claim to fully understand this poem, but I happy in my ignorance simply enjoying the flow and structure of this poem. In other words beautifully written.

"across the unfair divide
where black will never meet white
so read my token lips
as though they never exist"

nicky wire

[This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 05-24-2001).]

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
3 posted 2001-05-24 08:51 PM


Well...I get an idea, and I loose my thoughts in more than the wind, one second they are there, the next they are gone, and I just know I lost a great idea.  Well that is what I got from this, and I sure enjoyed applying your "origins" to my fleeting thoughts.

~*~ I write ~ Therefore I am ~*~
Homepage: http://www.mysteria-poetry.cityslide.com/contents/contents.cfm/451673

Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
4 posted 2001-05-27 09:45 PM


the start of all. . . the start of life. . . the start of love. . .

when?

well done. . .

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Watersign6
Senior Member
since 2001-05-25
Posts 823
Hurricane,WV
5 posted 2001-05-28 05:17 PM


very very well done my poetic friend  
Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
6 posted 2001-05-29 06:50 PM


Superb!

Live for love. Without love, you don't live.


SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
7 posted 2001-05-29 07:10 PM


very cool  
ArticulatedSigh
Junior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 26

8 posted 2001-05-31 06:09 AM


It is very intersting how you mix a classic use of words in different forms and in a sense blend old and new. And always enunciate with emotive qualities undenied.

Thanks

For the moment swallows all things blinding our eyes to Heaven.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
9 posted 2001-05-31 07:08 AM


"in start
thus beginning
a birthing
by right."

This conclusion kind of sums it all up......I really enjoyed the whole thing!

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