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Open Poetry #14
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Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri

0 posted 2001-05-24 01:34 AM


Sitting at the river
   watching the rain
      echo off the surface
         of the water.
            Not really thinking
               about anything
                  Its one of those
                     moments of solitude
                        Where everything else
                           is gone
                              and its just you.

Its a soft rain
   the kind that
      tempts you to dance
         So I do
            Standing knee deep
               in the cool running water
                  hands uplifted to the rain
                     hips swaying to the
                        music of the river  
                           In almost primal need
                               to feel the water.

Unthinking my hands
   tug away my shirt
      Stripping the world
         away
            Reveling in the
               freedom
                  The rain comes
                     harder
                        Making my skin
                           tingle
                              Then comes the sun.
                  
          
  


                          

      
    


                              
                              
          
                        
                  
      


© Copyright 2001 Paula Finn - All Rights Reserved
Rain
Junior Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 21
Atlanta, GA
1 posted 2001-05-24 01:36 AM


A well captured moment.  I loved the set up of this.  Compliments it nicely!
Snowdwen
Member
since 2000-09-16
Posts 75
Louisiana
2 posted 2001-05-24 01:48 AM


Nicely done.. it makes me want to go outside and play in the rain.
I think my fav. part was..

"Unthinking my hands
   tug away my shirt
      Stripping the world
         away
            Reveling in the
               freedom"

Nicely said and well done! great peace..
Can't wate to read more!
                  

"You live you learn and life moves on"



Packratmike
Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632
California, USA
3 posted 2001-05-24 02:31 AM


Very good, Paula.....this reminds me of a little flower-child I once knew.*sigh*

Mike

Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
4 posted 2001-05-24 02:52 AM



I love these kind of moments and love the way you've written about this one.  Nicely done.

Poeminister

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
5 posted 2001-05-24 03:24 AM


Ohh...I love this.I do..simply that, and I can say no more.  

still d-i-s-c-o-n-n-e-c-t-e-d
I am bound by this, you see...to become Night's sole mistress, and I am jealous in my endeavours for his attention.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
6 posted 2001-05-24 06:15 AM


I really love this verse!

"Its a soft rain
                   the kind that
                      tempts you to dance
                         So I do
                            Standing knee deep
                               in the cool running water
                                  hands uplifted to the rain
                                     hips swaying to the
                                        music of the river  
                                           In almost primal need
                                               to feel the water."

Excellent work Paula!

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2001-05-24 06:24 AM


I would have liked to have seen this one Paula....James
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
8 posted 2001-05-24 06:57 AM


Paula~
This is MARVELOUS !

The words gently cascade down the page.
Beautiful thoughts ~
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                               noles1@totcon.com             

JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

9 posted 2001-05-24 08:55 AM


Dance and be free...loved the format!
vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
10 posted 2001-05-24 11:55 AM


enjoy
forevernbluejeans
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 76

11 posted 2001-05-26 02:57 PM


Oh yes I felt every drop...
Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
12 posted 2001-05-26 03:21 PM


Paula sister of my heart, utterly truly outstanding love. You have really written a special gem here. I adore it you have such a wondrous talent love, beautifully done. Every single word is a sparkling jewel.
Take care love as always
                  Mushy
                    

Take back the hope you gave,- I claim
Only a memory of the same
Robert Browning



Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
13 posted 2001-05-27 02:03 AM


Rain...I'm glad you enjoyed the dance...thank you

Snowden...thank you sweetie...you are sweet to say so

Mike...lol you sure it wasnt me?

Poeminister...they dont happen often enough do they?

Temptress...LOL you said enough thank you

ethome...somehow I just knew you would like that sweet poet man...thank you

James...I will dance for you anytime you know that

Marge...its just the rain...makes me wanna dance every time...thanks

JLR...you dance too ok?

vandana...thanks

forevernbluejeans...good

Marsha...girl you do go on...Im so spoiled with your praise...thank you

Siofra
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-28
Posts 551
State of Suspended Passion
14 posted 2001-05-27 02:58 AM


the beauty of the rain and dancing..
You capture this nicely.
enjoyed.

I am many.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
15 posted 2004-05-21 01:10 PM


wonderful!
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