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Open Poetry #14
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Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2001-05-23 05:51 PM


Holding Hands

The air was fresh and sunlit,
as it swirled around the Douglas fir.
It whipped the towels draped
on the railing of the wooden deck.

From where I stood looking at the lake,
it caught me and undid my hair.

I had heard the quarreling voices,
each tinged with placing blame
on the other’s stooped shoulders.
I took the path away.

Time had drained
the strength needed
to keep the cabin of summer,
with the lovely little outhouse
on the hill.

There is no blame to the edge
that time softens.

He had built it all.
On his hands I could see the plan,
callused and gnarled.
She had softened it with her aproned arms.

Many nights they lay beyond the screen,
looking at the last ember’s glow of fire,
listening to the frog voices echo
down the mountain into the cove.

Were they holding hands then,
in the dark with their youth
still visible?

The wind carried his words to me
"I’m sorry", turned me to look back.

As she touched his cheek and smiled,
I could see that they were holding hands now.



In the dew of little things,
the heart finds its morning
and is refreshed.
(ee cummings)

[This message has been edited by Martie (edited 05-23-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-05-23 05:54 PM


yes, yes, I like, I like....
JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

2 posted 2001-05-23 06:01 PM


A happy ending...thank you for that!
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2001-05-23 07:05 PM


Time had drained
the strength needed
===========================
There is no blame to the edge
that time softens.

He had built it all.
On his hands I could see the plan,
callused and gnarled.
She had softened it with her aproned arms.

Many nights they lay beyond the screen,
looking at the last ember’s glow of fire,
listening to the frog voices echo
down the mountain into the cove.

Were they holding hands then,
in the dark with their youth
still visible?

The wind carried his words to me
"I’m sorry", turned me to look back.

As she touched his cheek and smiled,
I could see that they were holding hands now.
=================

I knew I was going to love this just from the title alone ...
this is written with such a cool and compassionate perspective Martie-girl.

It reminded me of the summers landscaping  where the wind did indeed carry conversations across subdivision lakes and common ground..
and I use to wonder what the people looked like by their voices.
OH--if the geraniums could talk, the things they could tell   LOL

We wish ourselves beautiful,
we cry in the night.
Its not the love you fear ...
its the fall from the height.
~Edwin McCain~

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

4 posted 2001-05-23 07:14 PM


This is exquisite in it's imagery and simplicity, just a lovely verse, written in fine form and presented most excellently!

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
5 posted 2001-05-23 08:03 PM


The simplest of gestures becomes an exquisite piece of writing when Marties mind gets ahold of it.
You do reveal so much about a person in your woven thoughts.
Excellent, Martie
Liz

Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2001-05-23 08:10 PM


Martie~
This ...

'There is no blame to the edge
that time softens.'


... landed smack-dab in the middle of my heart !

Such a very touching piece.
*Hugs* to you, sweet sister of my heart.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                               noles1@totcon.com             

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2001-05-23 09:54 PM


I came back for a visit....please, teach me how you do this....
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
8 posted 2001-05-24 12:19 PM


Oh my!  Were there ever two words that could communicate more than, "I'm sorry"?  Your words are woven into my heart with this one Martie.

~*~ I write ~ Therefore I am ~*~
Homepage: http://www.mysteria-poetry.cityslide.com/contents/contents.cfm/451673

S Arthur Grey
Senior Member
since 2001-03-19
Posts 719
woven by a poet's loom
9 posted 2001-05-24 01:02 AM


nice story telling, Martie

S Arthur

. . . Hills jump with brooks.
trees tumble out of twigs and sticks;
e e cummings

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
10 posted 2001-05-24 01:48 AM


Karilea--I thank you twice.    

JLR--A bitter sweet ending...some times it is so hard to let go.

Janet--I call them my mother and father-in-love...they are so dear to me.  This was a heart breaking time for them, and for me.

Kathleen--what a lovely thing to say...thank you.

Liz--your replies always please me, my friend.

Marge--For my words to land in my heart makes me smile...thanks sis.

Sharon--just two words and sometimes so hard to say...thank you for understanding.

S.Arthur--Thank you so much for stopping to read and for your nice comment.  It is appreciated.

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
11 posted 2001-05-24 05:28 AM


*SIGH*
So much in this. I love it.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
12 posted 2001-05-24 06:11 AM


Absolutely beautiful writing! It engulfed me completely! Such pure images like a refreshing cool breeze they flowed through my mind opening doors into the world of virtual perspective!

"There is no blame to the edge
                 that time softens."

Such a wonderful creative writing line.

Keep up the good work flower girl!

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
13 posted 2001-05-24 08:35 AM


Martie...the imagery in your poetry is timeless  

~ Ruth
www.angelfire.com/pa/OriginalMinds/index.html  

Auguste
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Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
14 posted 2001-05-24 12:40 PM


Martie,

This is pretty.  I've always wanted a cabin.  One day I plan to build one in the deep woods of N.C. with a big fireplace and enjoy the deep snows of that area.

Michael

Proust-
"Love is space and time measured by the heart"

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

15 posted 2001-05-24 08:53 PM


Very good, Martie. Told with tenderness and love.
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
16 posted 2001-05-25 09:34 AM


I love this, Martie... completely and unequivocally. With your usual superb imagery you've captured some of those illusive qualities that make relationships last for decades instead of moments... the realization that love is still there no matter what the frustrations, the ability and determination to work through hard times, the willingness to accept blame when it's deserved, and the compassion to forgive and go on. Beautiful!
vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
17 posted 2001-05-25 10:12 AM


enjoy
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

18 posted 2001-05-25 10:20 AM


the other day, I was thinking of you and your writing and wondering what of yours I have missed in my absense...glad I didn't miss this one, and yeppers, I think I am gonna do a search of yours and copy them all to disk so I can read at home, when I have more time.....love your writing lady, exceptional as always  
Watersign6
Senior Member
since 2001-05-25
Posts 823
Hurricane,WV
19 posted 2001-06-05 08:16 PM


very enjoyable  
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
20 posted 2001-06-06 12:00 PM


Lovely, tender images, Martie.  You do paint vividly scenes and emotions.
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
21 posted 2001-07-06 12:34 PM



Martie-
   I'm so glad I decided to go back
   and dig up some of the poems that
   have slipped by me.
   This one makes it all worthwhile.  
   Very touching write..

   hugs,
   ~vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes



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