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Open Poetry #14
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Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2001-05-23 03:47 PM


Candle flame flickers,
Wind slips under the window,
Then smoke and darkness.
Moonlight casts steady shadow
And starlight gently twinkles.

Cold fingers searches,
Placing flame back to the wick,
Returns the flicker.
Clouds obscure passing so quick
Riding where wind reaches.

Gloom


© Copyright 2001 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635

1 posted 2001-05-23 03:48 PM


Enjoying this very much....
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
2 posted 2001-05-23 04:38 PM


Thank you, Decaflame
I am please you are,
With just a few lines added I have a sonnet

Windy Candle III

Candle flame flickers,
Wind slips under the window,
Then smoke and darkness.
Moonlight casts steady shadow
And starlight gently twinkles.

Eyes watching
Seeing the sleepy movements
Sky and wind,
Heavens and the firmament.

Cold fingers searches,
Placing flame back to the wick,
Returns the flicker.
Clouds obscure passing so quick
Riding where wind reaches.


Gloom

[This message has been edited by Professor Gloom (edited 05-23-2001).]

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2001-05-24 01:37 AM


PG~
And lovelier yet ... the flame ~

Tender movement within your phrasing.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                               noles1@totcon.com             

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
4 posted 2001-05-24 03:31 AM


Haven't I read the other part to this somewhere? I'm confused I think, but I still love this!  
you write so beautifully.

Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
5 posted 2001-05-24 03:46 AM


Capitally done.  Enjoyed the read.

Poeminister

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
6 posted 2001-05-24 05:18 AM


Thank you, Marge,
I am pleased that you liked this.

Thank you, Temptress
Occasionally I write via expansion
This is one of those poems:
Originally two Haiku’s (in I)
Then each Haiku becomes a Senryu
With two lines added (in II)
Then becomes a sonnet with four more added (in III).
(using the definition of a sonnet as 14 stylized lines)
I am glad you enjoyed.

Thank you, Poeminister,
I appreciate the appreciation.

Gloom

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
7 posted 2001-05-24 05:41 AM


I am learning so much from you here and at your home page.  I have learned now, I sure don't know how to write poetry, but I still love whatever it is that I am doing.  Maybe one day (when I grow up), I will write one I can be as proud of as any given one of yours!  Fantastic as usual.

~*~ I write ~ Therefore I am ~*~
Homepage: http://www.mysteria-poetry.cityslide.com/contents/contents.cfm/451673

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
8 posted 2001-05-28 11:26 AM


*return the flicker*  I like the sound of that  PG..*s

~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



Watersign6
Senior Member
since 2001-05-25
Posts 823
Hurricane,WV
9 posted 2001-05-28 01:00 PM


lovely jusy lovely,enjoyed it so much  
Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
10 posted 2001-05-28 07:47 PM


Professor
I enjoyed this one very much.......Sue

Suetang

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
11 posted 2001-05-28 07:47 PM



Thank you, Mysteria,
I honored by your kind words,
If at my site I might recommend my “Cell Series”.

Thank you, nakdthoughts,
I am please you could find a bit of my words to please you,

Thank you, Watersigh6,
I am glad I could give you a touch of enjoyment
With my meager words.

Thank you, Sue,
your are very kind,
glad you enjo my words


Gloom

[This message has been edited by Professor Gloom (edited 05-28-2001).]

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