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Open Poetry #14
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PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA

0 posted 2001-05-23 11:04 AM


Clouds go by as I look to the sky
Freezes me in the in-between
Busy with life’s comings and goings
Not pausing to see
Not ever wondering why
Time still remains for all just the same
Can’t forget the last dream
In which I had my peace of mind
Don’t know what a day like today means
Suddenly I remember her name
And it starts pouring rain

Everyone should sometimes come undone
And let that feeling flow through
The most peaceful time of day
What wonders solitude can do
Just letting the raindrops come
I have no shame watching the rain
Nothing will ever satisfy me
The way I am with opened mind
A spirit finally set free
Suddenly I forget her name
And it keeps pouring rain


© Copyright 2001 J.M. Landry - All Rights Reserved
Lady In White
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
1 posted 2001-05-23 11:06 AM


every line likes me, followed me into the calm of myself, to the home which I would prefer....

so I shall tuck this into the library, for further viewing, when I need

just this....

JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

2 posted 2001-05-23 11:54 AM


Everyone should sometimes come undone...well, at least I'm doing that right.  Enjoyed much!
Rain
Junior Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 21
Atlanta, GA
3 posted 2001-05-23 12:24 PM


The same line captured me as JLR:  Everyone should come undone.  My compliments.  This was excellent.
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
4 posted 2001-05-23 12:43 PM


truly beautiful  
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2001-05-23 01:56 PM


Everyone should sometimes come undone
And let that feeling flow through
The most peaceful time of day
What wonders solitude can do
Just letting the raindrops come
I have no shame watching the rain
Nothing will ever satisfy me
The way I am with opened mind
A spirit finally set free
Suddenly I forget her name
And it keeps pouring rain
===========================

your ability to write these kinds of emotions
so that the reader feels the intensity is  always impressive,
and as Lady says your then take the reader to that place inside of them that relates to your words.
this is a beauty PK.

We wish ourselves beautiful,
we cry in the night.
Its not the love you fear ...
its the fall from the height.
~Edwin McCain~

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
6 posted 2001-05-23 03:06 PM


PK...these lines haunt me...

"Can’t forget the last dream
In which I had my peace of mind"

another powerful piece from you...helen

S Arthur Grey
Senior Member
since 2001-03-19
Posts 719
woven by a poet's loom
7 posted 2001-05-24 06:19 PM


Love the feel of this, PK.
Excellent work!
I've been in this place and you have portrayed it well.

S Arthur

. . . Hills jump with brooks.
trees tumble out of twigs and sticks;
e e cummings

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
8 posted 2001-05-24 06:53 PM


I think it's beautiful, thanks

Titia

walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
9 posted 2001-05-24 07:58 PM


Well done, enjoyed!
Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
10 posted 2001-05-24 09:06 PM


nothing like the rain to wash away the memory of one long gone. . .

you know that I like this PK. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

11 posted 2001-05-24 10:56 PM


I've been "undone" it's not all it's cracked up to be!!!!!
Saunni
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777
West Virginia
12 posted 2001-05-24 11:55 PM


This is really beautiful! Thanks for sharing  

Sauni

Sauni :)
Have you ever known the color grey when the nighttime finds you weak
I have, I've walked that road each time; that's where my angel sleeps

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
13 posted 2001-05-25 10:24 AM


nice poem It is raining here at atantla smiles
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