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Open Poetry #14
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Rain
Junior Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 21
Atlanta, GA

0 posted 2001-05-23 10:23 AM


"Now", whispers the storm
and it lashes violently
Thunder applauding it's arrival
The skies lit, to make sure I see each limb
torn and thrown
The flowers too fragile to withstand
by morning will be laying on the ground
Lost to me

I sit unaffected
as the lights flicker and die
The morning after will come
It always does
Damages to be assessed or just
ignored
Accepted as redecoration for
my life
viewed from these very
jaded eyes

© Copyright 2001 Beth Brianwood - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-05-23 10:41 AM


The morning after will always come....

well done, and Welcome to Passions!  You and I have a lot in common, these midwestern storms!

Please check your e-mail for a special message....

and get comfortable...we're going to like you here!

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
2 posted 2001-05-23 10:58 AM


I love this... from the whispered "Now" to the wait... Perhaps such apathy comes only to those who've suffered too many of life's storms... what good does caring do when it doesn't change anything?

Welcome to Passions! I look forward to reading more of your work!

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
3 posted 2001-05-23 10:59 AM


This is a fantastic start from you here in our family of friends...

WELCOME TO PASSIONS  

Regards,
Sudhir

Irie
Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493
Washington State
4 posted 2001-05-23 11:08 AM


A metaphoric, powerful piece.
The first few lines grabbed me, got my attention.
quote:
Now, whispers the storm
and it lashes violently
Thunder applauding it's arrival

Put me right there in the storm, of life!

Welcome to PIP Rain, I look forward to more of your work!  

~Sheri

"The things that come to those that wait may be the things
left by those who got there first"



Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
5 posted 2001-05-23 12:48 PM


Wow - there's a severe intensity beneath the surface of this one.  An appreciation for what once was, yet a bitterness for what remains.  Welcome to Passions, btw.  Good poem.


Michael

JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

6 posted 2001-05-23 01:19 PM


Damages to be assessed or just ignored...understood this well.  Welcome!
Rain
Junior Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 21
Atlanta, GA
7 posted 2001-05-23 01:41 PM


Thanks so much, everyone, for the warm welcome.  I appriciate it!  Will look forward to getting to know everyone a bit.

[This message has been edited by Rain (edited 05-23-2001).]

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
8 posted 2001-05-23 02:49 PM


these words are powerful pain...welcome to passions...helen
PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA
9 posted 2001-05-23 02:55 PM


Wonderful imagery and personification.
angelbear
Member
since 2001-05-22
Posts 139
North East, USA
10 posted 2001-05-23 03:08 PM



great poem and wonderful words..  

Kay
Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 70

11 posted 2001-05-23 03:10 PM


Welcome to Passions, this is a lovely poem

Kay
Let no one who loves be called unhappy. Even love unreturned has its rainbow." ~James M. Barrie~

Saunni
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777
West Virginia
12 posted 2001-05-25 01:06 PM


The morning after always comes...cool line here. I loved the whole poem! Great write.  

Sauni

Sauni :)
Have you ever known the color grey when the nighttime finds you weak
I have, I've walked that road each time; that's where my angel sleeps

Cerenity
Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637
Escondido-California
13 posted 2001-05-25 01:55 PM


Hi Rain,

Wonderful first post and welcome to Passions I for sure will be looking forward to more of your writing,

Love, Cerenity

"God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist.
We have to be reminded that He exist!"

(Writer Unknown)



Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
14 posted 2001-05-25 02:04 PM


this is excellent. . . the storms of life can really make us better. . . as long as we learn from them. . .

and, sometimes, after the storm, the sun can let you see what really matters. . .

well done, and welcome. . .  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Watersign6
Senior Member
since 2001-05-25
Posts 823
Hurricane,WV
15 posted 2001-05-25 02:41 PM


loved your poem Rain you are very good
looking forward to reading more of yours

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
16 posted 2001-05-25 06:41 PM


nice welcome to passions
LAA
Junior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 11

17 posted 2001-05-27 10:06 AM


Potent, and deliberate, a rewarding read!

LAA

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
18 posted 2004-05-21 01:07 PM


very well done! love this!
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