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Passions in Poetry

where fences meet

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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


0 posted 05-23-2001 01:58 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for serenity blaze

I am the child
in the corner
of the place
where fences meet
knuckles white
and eyes too wide
watching
every move you make.


I am the one
was always scorned
ill-fit shoes
and clothes too worn
Inside
alway looking out
written word--
my only shout...


She is me
as I am her.
A reconciliation
burns--
to see the me
that I once was...
to love her,
and then take her cause.



© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
JLR
Senior Member
since 02-04-2001
Posts 1851


1 posted 05-23-2001 02:10 AM       View Profile for JLR   Email JLR   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JLR

Get back...to who you once were.
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


2 posted 05-23-2001 05:31 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

Amazing writing...

regards O Serene One,
Sudhir
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


3 posted 05-23-2001 08:27 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

I am the one
was always scorned
ill-fit shoes
and clothes too worn
Inside
alway looking out
written word--
my only shout...
=====================

please dont ever stop "shouting"
She is me
as I am her.
A reconciliation
burns--
to see the me
that I once was...
to love her,
and then take her cause.
===========================

{yes, love her and then heal in that light}
me

We wish ourselves beautiful,
we cry in the night.
Its not the love you fear ...
its the fall from the height.
~Edwin McCain~

Cerenity
Member Elite
since 02-16-2000
Posts 2712
Escondido-California


4 posted 05-23-2001 08:33 AM       View Profile for Cerenity   Email Cerenity   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cerenity

Hi Serenity,

amazing reading here, I loved it,

Love, Cerenity

"God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist.
We have to be reminded that He exist!"

(Writer Unknown)


Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 04-06-2000
Posts 10553


5 posted 05-23-2001 10:03 AM       View Profile for Irish Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irish Rose

This is me, this is amazing.
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


6 posted 05-23-2001 10:24 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

K...

your first two verses are by far the strongest..I really like this hon..maybe sharpen up the last verse? revise? don't ask for suggestions I'm still thinking about that whole prove thing LOL..

good work here - as usual..I like watching your different styles  

K
Lady In White
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 02-12-2001
Posts 2919
USA


7 posted 05-23-2001 11:12 AM       View Profile for Lady In White   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lady In White

Amazing, how we have to fight ourselves for our own cause....
Michael
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


8 posted 05-23-2001 12:43 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Sometimes the written word is the only voice we have, serenity.  Yours is beautiful, btw.  It's scarey to look back at who we once were, but's then isn't that the only way we can really grow as individuals?  It's good to see you have never let down your "cause".  Great poem.


Michael
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 06-17-2000
Posts 5525
missouri


9 posted 05-23-2001 01:17 PM       View Profile for Paula Finn   Email Paula Finn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Paula Finn

You know I know this corner...and the feelings of your back against the wall...fight on lil girl...we are so worth the fight
Saunni
Senior Member
since 07-11-2000
Posts 1798
West Virginia


10 posted 05-25-2001 01:00 PM       View Profile for Saunni   Email Saunni   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Saunni

This is amazing! I so could understand what you meant. yes, you are worth the fight!  

Sauni

Sauni :)
Have you ever known the color grey when the nighttime finds you weak
I have, I've walked that road each time; that's where my angel sleeps

Saunni
Senior Member
since 07-11-2000
Posts 1798
West Virginia


11 posted 05-25-2001 01:02 PM       View Profile for Saunni   Email Saunni   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Saunni

Oh, I meant to tell you...very cool title. I loved it.

Sauni

Sauni :)
Have you ever known the color grey when the nighttime finds you weak
I have, I've walked that road each time; that's where my angel sleeps

brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


12 posted 05-25-2001 02:39 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

POwerful writing as always take care of both yourself and that little girl. peace  

"across the unfair divide
where black will never meet white
so read my token lips
as though they never exist"

nicky wire

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


13 posted 05-26-2001 09:55 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Thanks to all...didn't mean to negect my friends again...just seem to get busy here lately! But funny thing about having children, how they make you remember things sometimes...this is just where my meandering took me. I appreciate you all being so kind!
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


14 posted 05-21-2004 01:16 PM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

awesome!
 
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