»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #14
»
No Sleep Have I...Triolets
| Open Poetry #14 |
|
No Sleep Have I...Triolets |
|
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines 
|
No Sleep Have I I sit and watch as time goes by. It's after Three, those drops of rain, Awakened me from dreams, had I. I sit and watch as time goes by. Warring thoughts, bring tears to cry, Fingers tender the wet of pain. I sit and watch as time goes by. It's after Three, those drops of rain, Pounding hard, the sound of time, In holding patterns, dreams shall keep. The tap tap tapping, Poe-like rhyme; Pounding hard, the sound of time. It's after Four, says clock in chime. I've lost more sleep from mind's eye, weep. Pounding hard, the sound of time, In holding patterns, dreams shall keep. The tapping's stopped, the myst now reigns. I sit and watch as time goes by, Inducing sleep, dreams, my domain. The tapping's stopped, the myst now reigns. It's half past Four, no sound on panes. But wakened still, no sleep have I. The tapping's stopped, the myst now reigns I sit and watch as time goes by. ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Wynter Bliss - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
one could put music to this |
||
Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Edgar would be proud ... Live for love. Without love, you don't live. |
||
|
VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
fascinating form, and well done, I think???I don't know much about the form, but this seems a good example of something. *sheepish grin*  |
||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Wynter~ These are just so beautifully done. Softly falling to the page ... enjoyed the moments in passing. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
||
|
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
This is lovely, I'm going to have to try this form sometime... Kathleen Blake |
||
|
S Arthur Grey Senior Member
since 2001-03-19
Posts 719woven by a poet's loom |
rhythms within rhythms . . . Very good! S Arthur |
||
|
Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
Nakedthoughts-Interesting form. Surpassingly well done. Poeminister [This message has been edited by Poeminister (edited 05-22-2001).] |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
passing shadows well, I think that is a compliment...although I am not very musical or at least not as able as I would wish to be. *s thank you Interloper You think so?..you make me smile ~Wynter VAS It's a triolet..but connected by the last lines in the last verse to make it "come round" *s..we have these challenges among ourselves on another site.. Marge Thank you . you always have the nicest responses..you may have just inspired me with the words you placed softly upon my page..huggs Maureen Kathleen it's an easy repetitive form if you look at the ending of the lines you will see the rhyme scheme and if you look carefully you will see the repeating lines. Thank you my friend S Arthur You liked? then I am pleased *s thank you Maureen Poeminister Thank you the form for a triolet is: ABaAbaAB..think I have that correct...then for the last verse I used the first line of the first verse as the last there and had to place it properly..oh well I hope you understand *s "The worst prison would be a closed heart". |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I do so love the triolet form...back to the top with this... Wonderful imagery and cadence!  |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ah goodness, thanks for bumping this up....I do not like missing the good ones... |
||
|
VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Absolute-a-lutely well done!! Captivating rhythn, words that pull one through in a dripping, gripping strength. The rain and the sleeplessness is so real, exemplified in the 'beat' of the words, the incessant repetition. Fantastic!!  |
||
|
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Edgar indeed. . . 'tis not Edgar, but Wynter. . .  I loved this. . .it did remind me of him, but with a style that was all your own, a flow and a rhythm that just made this easy to read. . . especially out loud!!!! great job. . . ------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
serenity, thank you for enjoying this one..we had had so much rain that week and it was beginning to haunt me Sunshine, thank you, Karilea VAS, I have a roof right under my bedroom window and the rain drops always drip off an upper roof at an uneven pace...making it hard for me to sleep sometimes.. thanks Sven Poe is a favorite of mine, in fact Annabel Lee was the first poem I ever memorized thank you "The worst prison would be a closed heart". |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
