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Open Poetry #13
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1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

0 posted 2001-05-09 05:10 PM



  Melancholy (acrostic)

Murk has surrounded
Enveloping it’s gloom
Lowering it’s weight
Another turn at doom
Nibbling at a heart
Chipping at a soul
Held down in darkness
Oblivious to it’s toll
Lament is it’s song
Yearning for blue to let go

"...the rest is silence" (Hamlet)       Shakespeare


© Copyright 2001 Helen Chambers - All Rights Reserved
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
1 posted 2001-05-09 05:58 PM


well done helen. . . I really like the form of this. . . it's a good representation of the feelings here. . .



------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

2 posted 2001-05-09 06:03 PM


A nice Acrostic, and very well expressed.  

Maree

Joyce Johnson
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Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
3 posted 2001-05-09 06:05 PM


A good job and good poem.  Joyce
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

4 posted 2001-05-09 08:32 PM


sometimes a difficult form to work with I think I'll try one tomorrow!

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

5 posted 2001-05-10 06:47 PM


"Another turn at doom"
Great line!  Like some kind of chilling, black game.
And a good acrostic too, girl.  Yours work better than my strained attempts.
e

Krawdad
/:-}==
=#===

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