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Butterfly Season
| Open Poetry #13 |
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Butterfly Season |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
*this is only my third attempt at free verse ... please feel free to offer critique, as I wish to learn to do this properly. My struggle in this piece is with line breaks and brevity. ~Butterfly Season~ I knew this time was coming, I have felt you stirring inside me for days, weeks, (always). As if on cue with the coming of spring, my need of you returns. This, the season of rebirth, of renewal, of healing, the time when winters gray gives way to color and light. And I know I should let it wash over me, let it heal this heart that never stops bleeding. I just don't know if I am ready, if I even know how. How does one let go of the loss, while holding on to the love? It's been over a year since you took merciful flight, yet I'm still owned by the connection, the ache, the need. There is not a day that goes by that I don't whisper your name ... just so I can hear the pure poetry of it, just so I can taste its sweetness upon my lips. There are still songs I cannot listen to. Still poems I cannot read, rhymes I cannot write, still tears I cannot cry. For I fear if I release too much, I wont still feel you in this way. Then there are those times... when the loneliness nearly suffocates me, and I have to leave ... just drive. Drive into the night, away from the city lights, to where the sky and midnight collide in ebony caress. Here, in the silence and the darkness there is only me and you and the stars. Here, they are so close I can almost touch them, their emerald glow reflects the light in your eyes. Here, I can drop to my knees and scream out your name, scream till it echoes off the neon moon ... shattering stars so that they fall like luna sparks. Here, I can release the immensity of the love I still feel. And on those fiery stars ... I wish the pain away, but not the intensity, For I never want to cease feeling you like this. But eventually I have to return to the city, to reality ... to me missing you. And I see the way they look at me, bewildered. Well meaning friends and family who have lost their patience. They don't understand why I cant get back to "being me." How do I make them understand that part of me left with you. They say I'm lost ... lost in the memories, lost in the poetry. How do I explain to them the only time I feel peace is when I rhyme. And here, in poetry land ... here there is sanctuary. Here, they too ... came to love you. They love you through me, through my rhymes of you. They, who never met you, never gazed into those jade green eyes. Never heard the desperation in your voice, they, who never heard you play the piano, or read Shakespeare, or your own gifted rhymes. They, just seem to understand and accept. Perhaps it is some rite of insight granted to poets. And dear lord, how I love them ... for loving you. So now, another season comes, as I sit here in the sun, I feel your touch in the warmth. And it's as if I am feeling the sun for the first time. Glowing fingers of light tan my skin with your embrace. I hear you in the breeze that whispers across my face. And I know you're still here ... for only you could make the tea roses bloom early. Only you could bring back the azalea, the one that hasn't shared its crimson petals in two springs. And as the trees burst verdant with bud and leaf, as the rainbow tulips sway, the barefoot children play. As the maple squirts spin like whirly birds in the wind, I feel you, feel you fluttering inside of my soul. And I know it's time ... time for me to find my wings. For now you will be the wind beneath them. For this is the season of butterflies, the season of new beginnings. Time to peel back the cocoon of mourning ... and fly free. Not free of you ... for there will never be a time that I don't feel you ... need you ... miss you ... love you. But it's now time to fly free of me ... or perhaps back to me. Because you taught me how ... when you let me hold your tattered wings in my hand. You showed me the way ... when you learned how to again fly in the winter of our love. And I realize now ... you cant fly completely free, until I do too. So I will meet you in the summer's breeze, as I write your name across the endless sky. Just as I'll write your name in my verse and rhyme, for I will always love you like this ... like this ... butterfly gifted moment in time. Janet Marie for DeVante' with my unending love ... always. ~Butterflies Are Meant To Be Free~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ "I miss you so much, I can't stand it Seems like my heart, is breaking in two My head says no but my soul demands it Everything I do, reminds me of you" ~Van Morrison~  ~Butterfly on a Wheel~ By The Mission UK, from the CD: Carved in Sand Silver and gold, and it's growing cold Autumn leaves lay as thick as thieves Shivers down your spine, chill you to the bone, cause the mandling wind is the melody that turns your heart to stone The heat of your breath carving shadows in the mist Every angel has the wish, she's never been kissed A broken dream, haunting in your sleep Hiding in your smile, a secret you must keep love cuts you deep. Love breaks the wings of a butterfly on a wheel Love breaks the wings of a butterfly on a wheel There's no scarlet in you, lay a fair down for me Sure has got me twined, you can't wrap you arms around a memory Take warmth from me, cold autumn winds cut sharp as a knife but in the dark for me you're the candle flame that flickers to light Love breaks the wings of a butterfly on a wheel Love will break the wings of a butterfly on a wheel Wise men say all is fair in love and war And there's no right or wrong in the design of love And I could only watch as the wind crushed your wings Broken and torn, crushed like a flower under the snow and like the flower in the spring, love will rise again to heal your wings Love heals the wings of a butterfly on a wheel Love will heal the wings of a butterfly on a wheel  There are two lasting bequests that we can hope to instill in our children one is roots ... the other ... wings. [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 04-30-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved | |||
Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Janet Marie. I am like you I write only rhyme, but with this free verse you caught every emotion possible to tell the utter hopelessness that has come into the lives of some of us when we have lost he or she who is irreplacable. I think this is the right medium to show the intensity of your feelings. No rhyme to beautify it for it is such a brutal experience to say goodby to part of yourself. Good luck. This was marvelous writing Joyce |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
JanetMarie~ When you write from the heart, as you have done here~ There is no wrong ... believe me, there is no wrong way to write. I believe this piece comes close to the finest writing I've seen you express - Perhaps because your heart spoke and you let it flow. No rhyme to get in your way .... just open, honest feelings ! Beautifully done ... and sweet lady, when you are ready ... you will know when to flutter freely. Those of us who have come to know you through your poetry ... have also come to know you through your heart .... for each piece you have written spoke of your love, not only for DeVante ... but for all of life. Take this hug and wrap it around you ... {{{HUG}}} Love you, sweet poet. No rhyme or reason not to !  ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Janet I think you have here a wonderful expression of the feelings from your heart. Time has a lot to do with healing...your heart will take you step by step thru the healing process...James |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
that was intense...just pure intensity. what magic... that was the definition of raw emotion... so unbarred. wow. you've really wow-ed me with this one... my heart goes out to you, because (i kid you not) i called an old galpal o mine tonight and i'm feeling almost all the way the same. (i'm on your boat anyways  )attempt? pah-shaw!! "Many great relationships start or end in a bar. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
"...yet I'm still owned by the connection..." the mystical quality of this connection is something that we see every time you post a response, or treat us to you.... a quality, a passion, that should be held on to for all of your days.... a memory of what was, knowing that it was... all Hugs, |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
"to where the sky and midnight collide" excellent!! i feel like i crawled into your heart and i'm peering out of your eyes with this one JM.... the longing and loss are so real in your words... |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I shouldn't even be here (snuck away from the werk monster I did, I did! *G*)... but even a quick read is enough to know how powerful this is... and how very beautifully you've written your heart. I have to agree... this is one of your best... and I WILL be back to savor it thoroughly. *S* |
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inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
I am in total awe with your work here. This flowed so smoothly, it took me in completely. I read word for word almost without realizing it. Feeling the depth of your pain as if you were sitting beside me reading this to me, and a rebirth of living in your heart. I can't explain the feeling that this has placed in my heart. **BEAUTIFUL** |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Hey you....I've got a present for you....check your mail...and I do hope it's not encoded (geez...) |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Janet--This poem is remarkable, as are you. As those above me have said...it is your heart made visible through words, like reading pure feeling. Hugs my sweet friend, for this spring time begins the beginning of many springtimes...and you already fly! |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Well it's a good thing I've had a late day today...if I had my makeup on, it'd be running down my face now, with my tears.....Janet is there no end to your talent?!?! You are remarkable at touching hearts and bringing the emotions out of yourself and making them real for all who read your words.....I felt all of it....all Janet. I'm keeping this. Hugs to you, SEA |
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latin passion Senior Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 576 |
I had to step back - in awe...For never have I read such a beautiful expression of her love as I just read. It leaves me breathless. It reminded me again of why I hold butterflies so tenderly. When I lost someone dear to me (many years back), I said a special prayer asking my Lord, was everything going to be all right. As I walked outside the house, around the magnolia tree, monarch butterflies were flying around me. Since that time, it's part of my solace. LP |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Joyce ... thank you very much for your kind and accepting words... yes there is a comfort found in rhyming...but it does sometime restrict us. thank you for the marvelous and the emcouragement  Margie.... thank you for the hug and for this beautiful reply... your praise and understanding touches me to tears. thank you for such a wonderful complimentary and humbling reply. hugs and love right back at ya sweets  SBJ ... you are so right my friend...and only my heart can tell me when Im ready. thank you for the undestanding and support, and kind words of my work Ethan... HEY YOU!! ... thank ya babes.. a wow from you goes a long way my groovy guy....and I have missed your spirit and sweet self around here. So dont stay away so long...OK....OK !!!  Sun.... thank you for seeing him in me....and yes...this muse stays with me always.. heart and soul...thanks for always casting light into the matter Dor.... I am very glad you got to see this one since your free verse gifts have always made me want to strive to write in this style...thanks always for the inspiration. thank you for the kind words...and for sharing the view with me. Ruthie.... that you would risk the rath of the work monster makes your visit even more special... thank you sweet lady...come back as much as you can...and hey... I wont tell the WM if you dont TY inot2B ... my goodness...what can I say to this beautiful reply...thank you seems inadequate... but I am very grateful and touched by your lovely sincere response. Thank you so much!! Sen... got it baby.... THANK YOU me goddess twin ROFL...you goddess ... me just me  Martie.... thank you sweet poet... your reply makes me think me can fly and heres to a spring and summer of sun shine and rhyme TY Sea ... you are so sweet girlie...thank you for this touching reply...and for the honor of being in your library. thank you all for these amazing replies and for taking the time to read this... I know its on the long side... and I truly appreciate the time given when there are so many poems to read here in a day. love to poetry land jm There are two lasting bequests |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
LP... thank you so much for such a beautiful reply and for sharing that touching story with me... Im very sorry for your loss... and yes... the butterfly has come to mean so much in this time... for many of us.. its fragile beauty encompasses the essence of love, loss and healing. thank you much for this. take care jm There are two lasting bequests |
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Passions Voice Member
since 2000-10-23
Posts 291Michigan |
This is superb. As someone who is only beginning to write this way, I can only say that this is something that I will keep always. Wonderful Janet. passion is life. . . ~Diana |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
 Truly baby you have made it butterfly season this is just beautiful...why?...because your heart and soul lay in every line...never do you hold a piece back when it comes to your poetry...it's all there for everyone to view..as you stand back and let us gaze into the puddles of tears and the crystals of pain...then through the clouds of your soul comes the sunlight sent for the angels above...and what's left baby???...rainbows...tons of rainbows...and you know how butterflies love to dance on the rainbows. Your free verse is awesome..you let it dance to it's own music and it flows on like you are sharing this with the moon and the stars...a private conversation that we are evesdropping on...I just love it girlie...and I love you for all you give...in poetry and in friendship..thank you for sharing the dreams of this butterfly with me~  |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
"Fragile as a soapish spere, silent as a random thought..... patient flights from there to here, floating free lest she be caught. Dancing on the evening breeze, with cool of night will soon be found.... fading sunlight through her wings, shining beauty all around...................." unknown Oh JM, I fell apart reading this....so many feelings and words touched the deepest part of my soul...you affect me so greatly with each posting....with each word, with each moment my eyes read your thoughts....I am in such awe of this, and before I even read it, I cherished it to my treasures....from my heart thank you for being a poet, and sharing always.... Lauren "Within you I lose myself |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
This, like all your work, gives me chills...this is lovely. And who said that we are what we write??? So, as a token of my esteem and gratitude for the poetry and the replies you so generously post (I've loved the 'gator remarks') please check this out: http://www.geocities.com/birthday_bash/page7.html |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Diana .. thank you very much...I am honored to have you keep this one....and yes... that is one of Passions greatest gifts, that we can all learn from each other. Holly-girl.... thank you baby....for your beautiful (slightly biased) LOL reply thank you for always understanding my need to write of him and to hopefully touch others with his beauty....as that is the greatest way I can honor him and keep my promises to him. And as you know...I dont write these....I hold the pen for my butterfly muse. Thank you for those beautiful pics too me butterfly queen love you too girlie. Lauren.... thank you for that PERFECT verse, its beautiful.... as is your reply... Im sorry to make you cry...but I know they are the tears of healing a release... as I know you know this loss all too well, and while Im sorry you know the pain... I am grateful for the connection to you and that we feel to each others poetry. I know you understand ... thank you for this touching and accepting reply sweet gentle poet Sharon... THANK YOU!!! and that is soooo cool, and I am very touched by the butterfly theme of the pic and the poem....I will Email you shortly... thank you for this kind reply and the gift, very much. Thank you all love and respect to poetry land. There are two lasting bequests |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I told you'd I'd be back. *S* First, don't ever apologize for the length when every word is sheer magic... time spent reading such beauty is time truly living as opposed to merely existing. *S* Second, this may only be your 3rd poem in free verse style, but you skipped right over attempt and created perfection. And finally (at least for the moment *G*)... You've woven love and loss and longing with the most incredible imagery... lines such as "shattering stars so that they fall like luna sparks" take us right into that scream with you. The ache and emotion and honesty in this poem... as in so much of your work... reach straight from your heart to ours. Yes, we do love him... and you. *S* |
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Mother_Earth Senior Member
since 2000-11-20
Posts 13701/2 year Texas & 1/2 year Michigan |
Dear Janet, whether free verse or a regular poem, you write from your heart and soul for all of us to see you from the inside out. Thank you once again for sharing your beautiful thoughts. Hugs, ME |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Well I could go on and on, but Suthern covered all I wanted to say, so I will just say I dropped in - Hi! and I agree with everything that she said and then some! Please visit me at my new homepage: |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"How does one let go of the loss, while holding on to the love? It's been over a year since you took merciful flight, yet I'm still owned by the connection, the ache, the need. There is not a day that goes by that I don't whisper your name ... just so I can hear the pure poetry of it, just so I can taste its sweetness upon my lips." "They don't understand why I cant get back to "being me." How do I make them understand that part of me left with you. They say I'm lost ... lost in the memories, lost in the poetry. How do I explain to them the only time I feel peace is when I rhyme." "Time to peel back the cocoon of mourning ... and fly free. Not free of you ... for there will never be a time that I don't feel you ... need you ... miss you ... love you. But it's now time to fly free of me ... or perhaps back to me. Because you taught me how ..." "And I realize now ... you cant fly completely free, until I do too." My dear Janet Marie ... how your heart shines throughout each line of this gentle verse. Beautiful thoughts ... you make my heart ache sweet lady. The depth of your emotion is so great in these writings. Though others may wish us to return to our "old selves" ... sometimes what they do not understand, is that you have grown, have changed, have been shaped by the experiences you've had. You do not need to go back as they request, but rather ... forward. Forward in the knowledge and joy that you had this wondrous love, forward with the faith that he will always have such a special place in your life and your rhymes, and forward to the new you, where you can still hold and cherish the tender memories while building life a'new. He will live on always through your beautiful words and thoughts that you so sweetly share with us all ... Hugs to you sweet gator-gal ... love ya ... Best wishes, /Kit [This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 05-02-2001).] |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I can see an entire flood of free verse coming from you now! This is wonderful, keep it coming! Kathleen Blake |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Excuse me BUT.......... Is there NOTHING you can't do!! You are a naturally talented poet, my friend! Marina It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Ruthie.... darlin, you can keep coming back as much as you like.... after a beautiful reply like that...I couldnt deny you nothing thank you very very much sweet lady....your generous and kind words touch me, and humble me, as does the sincerety. Thank you for seeing his light in my words... and for loving him. M.E. ... thank you so much for this lovely reply and welcome back, I heard you were back home Nice to see your name back in here as well.Mysteria ... thank you and yes...Ruthie is a wise choice to ditto thanks for stopping in and reading.Kit ...thank you sweets and yes...you are right, and you encompass what I was trying to sort out in my heart and this poem. But then you always do thank you for this touching and sincere reply. Kathleen... I thank you for the encouragement, when we try new styles and vary from our comfort zone, it can be a bit unerving. While rhyme is my first instinct and love, I have become more and more fond of free verse... it allows the poet to express more with out the restrictions of rhyme. As you know, for you do free verse superbly. TY. Marina ... well thank you my sweet and slightly biased friend LOL ... and as you know, I cant take the credit when my butterfly muse whispers to me... I merely hold the pen. thanks girlie!!! thank you all for the touching replies.... sorry I took so long to get back here, my time is not my own these days. (dont they know I got poetry to read) love to all in poetry land. I miss you so much I cant stand it |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
(I wanted to respond to this yesterday, but I wasn't online for all that long, so I figured I'd be able to take more time with it today  ) I stand in awe of this piece, JM...this is truly amazing...I can't even pick my favorite parts because each and every line completely drew me in. You know me and free verse...this is totally amazing! The intensity, the passion, just the pure feeling in this just sends chills up my spine, m'friend...yep...keepin' this one! If you haven't already guessed, I absolutely love this one! Outstanding job...(and, no critique here, by any means!) sp  to be with you... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
SP... yes...I do know you and free verse... so your encouragement on this one means much... Im not sure if this is free verse or formatted prose as many of us are when we try new styles, Im somewhat insecure and unsure about free verse, but i really enjoy the freedom to purge that it gives.... but rhyme is still my first love and instinct. thank you very much for this great reply... and you can critique ~like this~ any time thanks you speak to me in riddles |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Magnificent!!!! Regards to you O Janet, Sudhir |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Well, I finally got to this one.... Have I been missing stuff, oh, yeah. If I didn't have stronge manly attitude, id be crying like a baby after and during reading this.... if I wasnt the stronge manly type that is... Thanks to work for providing me with these all cubicle walls that are fairly soundproof. Janet, I love when you write about him, it really inspires one to write.... and cry. Your poetry free verse or not just shines with the most beautiful and tender emotion, and I love the way you draw out owr emotions from your words. You never cease to amaze me how you pick just the right combination of thoughts and feelings to get the old tear ducts flowing.... if I wan't the manly type that is... Whoever DaVante' is he will always live because of you.... Thank you once again for sharing him with us and sharing you with us.... Parker |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~J,...I know that I don't have to, but I want to. I have to atleast _attempt_ to give you note of what a wonderfully tugging and filling and flowing and releasing piece this is. - Let your heart be what it is,...you have and do, and this, this result, is special in ways that write love all over your skin, that print pieces of you on mine. *Peace flooding your way J. ~A. Thank you. |
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Dee Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330Queensland, Australia |
Janet, sometimes I think that the "rules" don't matter when our heart is showing. I think as long as our words convey our feelings, it is right. I am no expert on any form of writing but I do admire the emotion you have put into this. Hugs to you, Dee I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life. a brand |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Sudhir, P-man , Alicia,and Dee.... thank you so very much for your very sweet and endearing replies... Im sorry I took so long to get back to here...Im working a lot of hours these days thank you so much...this one was special to me... your encouragement means much. LOL@ P-man...your so cute....even for the strong manly type love to the forum.... JM "Nature's first green is gold, |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
I had to return to this, still as lovely and touching as the first time i read.... Lauren~ *** Nothing Beautiful In This World |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
"Only you could bring back the azalea, the one that hasn't shared its crimson petals in two springs. And as the trees burst verdant with bud and leaf, as the rainbow tulips sway, the barefoot children play. As the maple squirts spin like whirly birds in the wind, I feel you, feel you fluttering inside of my soul. And I know it's time ... time for me to find my wings. For now you will be the wind beneath them. For this is the season of butterflies, the season of new beginnings. Time to peel back the cocoon of mourning ... and fly free." Jan when you go free verse you really flow, The part above really bowled me over beautiful images. As always the songs of your heart make for stunning poetry, this one is no different. "across the unfair divide |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Lauren... thank you for returning sweet poet, your support means much to me Bri ... thank you for coming and reading, I wouldnt have wanted you to miss this one, you have always understood my need to write of him. So nice to have you back here again We wish ourselves beautiful, |
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