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Open Poetry #13
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wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

0 posted 2001-04-30 12:41 PM


Should I infuse into your dying deep roots
A change to your feelings deep inside for me
Maybe the ink gumming up in its waste
Maybe a life, overflowing distaste

But there is something I cannot fathom
Something I would like to outshine
Maybe it?s love, I cannot define
Maybe it?s Luna in silent sad cry

When I could not know what I wanted to be
I mused up a pen and wrote you a song
You didn?t care much, so I threw it away
I?ve been searching and will find it someday

The kinks in my heart are the rhythm and beat
And you are the Valium that rocks me to sleep
If I die will I know, the words to this song
Will it change my life that I sung them so wrong

After seasons of doubt and withered withouts
I come calling to see my flower is dead
I revive her with words sprinkled from head
Her heart heaves and sighs, crestfallen, instead

My paper is fading and the ink is a river
The rain still falling and the banks over flooding
Whisper the words to your song you have found
And plant my feet further in the goodnight of ground

Defibrillate my need for your rasping breath
To exhale down my neck and take away death
If the words could be heard by all of the world
Would we be anymore dead than we already are

There?s a beat in my heart and words to be sung
I?m a one-man band and I play this for you
Trumpet these words and sing them so loud
I?m in love with you and I?m proud



[This message has been edited by wayoutwalt (edited 05-01-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Walt Burns - All Rights Reserved
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
1 posted 2001-04-30 12:53 PM


You do better with each word you write, my friend. Be well. I enjoyed this.
JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

2 posted 2001-04-30 01:00 AM


Incredible!  THIS I understand and you wrote it, again...incredibly!  the valium that rocks me to sleep...now why didn't i think of that?
Joyce Johnson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
3 posted 2001-04-30 02:22 AM


A beautiful love poem.  Joyce
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

4 posted 2001-04-30 07:24 AM


Like I said before:

amazingly good writing Walty..

K

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
5 posted 2001-04-30 08:45 AM


Who likes the Velvet Underground?
inot2B
Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205
Arkansas
6 posted 2001-04-30 10:49 AM


Walt, who the heck are the "Velvet Underground"?
cruz
Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 282
Dallas,Texas USA
7 posted 2001-04-30 03:53 PM


Hey Walt, this one consumes me!  "Valium that rocks me to sleep," is tranquillity.  It seems as though you kinda wanna put the reader to sleep and then, BLAM!, wake 'em up with the trumpeting sound of "I'm in love with you and I'm proud."  I pray that your "stuff" is contagious and I get bitten by the poetry bug.  Grateright!
  


Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

8 posted 2001-04-30 10:23 PM


Wahooo Walty, I love this.

and these lines....

"And you are the Valium that rocks me to sleep"

"After seasons of doubt and withered withouts
I come calling to see my flower is dead"

"goodnight of ground"

Great lines my friend
great writing    oh yuhhhh

Maree    

elisaseyes
Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 196
fort worth texas
9 posted 2001-05-01 01:03 PM


Walter, everything you write is important to me. This is a heart breaking
piece. it makes me feel much compassion for you.



Mabel A. Dilley
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 859
Seattle, WA, USA
10 posted 2001-05-01 04:50 PM


Poignant, soft as a hammer wrapped inside a velvet glove and simply superb writing.

"I am not now that which I have been."

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

11 posted 2001-05-01 05:11 PM


wow, the metaphors, the phrasing, this blows me away, and yep I agree, you just keep getting better with your writing  
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

12 posted 2001-05-01 07:57 PM


One of your best, one of your very best

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
13 posted 2001-05-01 08:11 PM


thnak yo uguys you are all my motivation
latin passion
Senior Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 576

14 posted 2001-05-02 01:56 AM


"the flower doesn't wither." I loved the last line - power punch! As someone dear to me would say...ur gr8.  LP
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