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Open Poetry #13
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Packratmike
Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632
California, USA

0 posted 2001-04-24 02:37 PM


it doesn't take a genius
to figure this one out
you say "she" is a sick friend
well that I really doubt

a whispered conversation
upon the telephone
that low cut satin dress of yours
that used to make me moan

packed in your overnight case
you didn't think I'd see
with scented oils and nightgown
that you once shared with me

well when you leave, guess what dear
I'll change the locks tonight
don't bother to come back here
and don't forget to write


© Copyright 2001 Mike Powers - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-04-24 02:38 PM


whoops!
Joyce Johnson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
2 posted 2001-04-24 02:38 PM


Well good for you.  Well done.  Joyce
Mabel A. Dilley
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 859
Seattle, WA, USA
3 posted 2001-04-24 03:10 PM


I wish more people were this definitive with their decisions.

"I am not now that which I have been."

Just A Woman
Senior Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 507

4 posted 2001-04-24 04:39 PM


Oh ouch........a very painful write.  I feel such an overwhelming sadness after reading this.  Life should not be as this......


"I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one."

inot2B
Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205
Arkansas
5 posted 2001-04-24 05:12 PM


"well when you leave, guess what dear
I'll change the locks tonight
don't bother to come back here
and don't forget to write"


Hey at least you let her know she can stay gone, but you'd still accept her letters.

Packratmike
Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632
California, USA
6 posted 2001-04-24 05:52 PM


Thank you everyone for responding.....actually this was a fun, tongue in cheek write about having suspicions realized and what one might do in response.  I pictured her after a nice romantic dinner going to slip into something sexy and finding that she can't have here cake and eat it too.  The "and don't forget to write" line is a facetious phrase I use to flip someone off while I'm saying "goodbye". LOL (I really don't expect a letter when I do this.*g*)

[This message has been edited by Packratmike (edited 04-24-2001).]

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
7 posted 2001-04-24 06:28 PM


Funny how some think that poetry is always reality,right Mike?   Ahh..well.   We could hope for change, but then we wouldn't be writing poetry, eh?  
I enjoyed this with is simply and firmly matter of factly put point at the end. Did that makes sense? I loved this. A man's simple acceptance. Haunting.

still d-i-s-c-o-n-n-e-c-t-e-d
I am bound by this, you see...to become Night's sole mistress, and I am jealous in my endeavours for his attention.

Tennessee Angel
Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661
Tennessee
8 posted 2001-04-24 06:35 PM


I found this absolutely hilarious!  What a way to have the last word.  Ingenious!  
Packratmike
Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632
California, USA
9 posted 2001-04-25 02:09 AM


Temptress...Some of my poems are reality, some complete and utter fantasy and some are a mixture of both.  I enjoy when readers can't determine which is which because I then feel I've done a good job.
You read the end exactly as I wished...simple, firm and "matter of factly".  A care less attitude cuz she wasn't worth anything more.

Glad you liked this one.  Thank you.

Tennessee Angel...So glad you got a kick out of this one.  It was a very fun write.  Thank you.

Mike

helen smith
Member
since 2001-03-12
Posts 240

10 posted 2001-04-25 04:54 AM


aah loved the poem but it was time she left ..she wont be missed and it is a two way thing after all eh
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