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DarkKnight
Junior Member

since 1999-09-23

Posts 12

0 posted 2001-04-20 04:39 AM

Let Me Die Graceful

I once saw an angel
of purest of blue
with silver and snowflakes
with love shining true

She took me so gently
and led me to die
with honor and glory
and freedom to fly

So let me die graceful
and let me be strong
i’ve leaned on an angel
i’ve seen right and wrong

She showed me the forests
where the unicorns roam
I found the courage to chase them
and my spirit was home

I once saw an angel
of purest of blue
with wisdom and virtue
and when i saw her, i knew

So let me die graceful
and let me be strong
i’ve leaned on an angel
i’ve seen right and wrong

She took me so gently
and led me to die
with honor and glory...
and the freedom to fly

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

1 posted 2001-04-20 07:17 AM

This is beautiful; welcome to Passions.....I enjoyed this so much.

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

2 posted 2001-04-20 07:28 AM

DarkKnight~
It is a pleasure to have you join this circle of poets and friends.

'i’ve leaned on an angel'

A lovely thought.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

3 posted 2001-04-20 07:59 AM

I once saw an angel
of purest of blue
with silver and snowflakes
with love shining true

She took me so gently
and led me to die
with honor and glory
and freedom to fly
====================
this is indeed beautiful,
wondeful imagery laced thru serene and sincere emotions.
Welcome to Passions,
its very nice to have you here Dark Knight.
I look forward to more of your work.
take care
JM

I love your imperfections ... I love your everything ...
Your broken heart ... your broken wings.

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 04-20-2001).]

Lady In White

Member Elite

since 2001-02-12

Posts 2799
USA

4 posted 2001-04-20 08:52 AM

Welcome to Passions! I can see from this, you already feel quite at home!

write with grace, all others lose face;
"Jo was very tall, thin, ... and reminded one of a colt..." LMA

[This message has been edited by Lady In White (edited 04-20-2001).]

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

5 posted 2001-04-20 09:01 AM

Welcome to the family! I look forward to reading more of your work. And in the meantime, please check your email!

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

6 posted 2001-04-20 03:53 PM

This is beautiful... I think we all lean on angels without even realizing what's keeping us from falling. *S* Welcome to passions!

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

7 posted 2001-04-20 03:57 PM

the freedom to fly....a beautiful use of words, enjoyed your poem, and Welcome...

Greeneyes~

***

"Within you I lose myself
Without you I find myself
Wanting to be lost again."
-Unknown

DarkKnight
Junior Member

since 1999-09-23

Posts 12

8 posted 2001-04-25 12:58 PM

Thank you all for your comments, but I'd like to offer a different perspective for the reader: Contrary to mere appearance, this poem is far from fluffy and happy. Perhaps we could all pay less attention to our stereotypes about angels and more to the actual words and emotions.

She walks in silence and waits in shadow. She is my lady and my angel.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

9 posted 2001-04-25 11:23 AM

Yanno... if your email address was available, I'd choose that avenue for this comment, for it galls me to bump this poem up, especially under the circumstances. I've tried to ignore your comment and move on, but your response grates... I've read and re-read and don't see anyone calling your poem fluffy and happy - but if everyone missed the emotions you were trying to convey, perhaps YOU should give some attention to the fact they weren't conveyed instead of scolding the readers for not reading your mind.

DarkKnight
Junior Member

since 1999-09-23

Posts 12

10 posted 2001-04-25 12:12 PM

You are right, friend, no one is calling this poem fluffy or happy - I'm merely asking people to examine it from a different light. This poem was written exactly as it was to convey a deeper level of thought than the surface presentation. I don't think asking for a different slant from the reader is asking too much. I'm sorry if you think to the contrary.

She walks in silence and waits in shadow. She is my lady and my angel.

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

11 posted 2001-04-26 01:15 AM

Hi there.

Firstly, welcome to passions.

I can see where you are going with this poem, DarkKnight. While I agree that asking a reader to view your work from a different slant is perfectly reasonable, I also think it's probably a good idea to watch HOW you invite your readers to do so.

Due to this confusion that has resulted, I'll give you a critical opinion here: Honestly, your poem uses much gentle imagery and the image of being lead away to die by the angel doesn't have the wholly dark aspect you may have tried to incorporate. I find it easy to understand how this could be perceived as light, 'fluffy' even - simply because the imagery seems romanticised. I agree to an extent with Suthern that perhaps you could tighten the emotions you are conveying through your poem with darker imagery...

Finally though, I think it's valuable for all poets to remember that poetry is subjective - and readers will usually find what they want to find in a poem...whether the author intends it or not. I believe it demeans the entire purpose of poetry to have 'shoulds and should nots' regarding content.

K

A Whisper's Caress
Senior Member

since 2000-11-03

Posts 791
on the horizon of a fairytale

12 posted 2001-04-26 03:48 PM

Knight,
welcome to passions...

I found this piece to be just as enlightening as it was lovely.
Not only did you conjour some
beautiful pictures, but calming
reassurances to those who might
have recently lost someone.
Once again, welcome....

May your dreams always dance to the rhythm of a lover's heartbeat...

A Whisper's Caress
Senior Member

since 2000-11-03

Posts 791
on the horizon of a fairytale

13 posted 2001-04-26 03:54 PM

ok, the temptation is too great...
the message behind all of the loveliness
in this peice seems to be, a dying person
wanting to do just that, die, and with dignaty. hope I got that right, but either way, i still loved it, from start to finish.

May your dreams always dance to the rhythm of a lover's heartbeat...

PoeticKnight
Senior Member

since 2000-01-20

Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA

14 posted 2001-04-26 04:06 PM

Whoa....this was so...good. What a very well put poetic plea.

DarkKnight
Junior Member

since 1999-09-23

Posts 12

15 posted 2001-04-26 08:32 PM

DING! Thank you for playing, A Whisper's Caress. Winner takes it all!

Hope to see you around more in the future.

She walks in silence and waits in shadow. She is my lady and my angel.

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