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Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554


0 posted 2001-04-19 03:14 PM


I'm thinking I need to see a doctor,
cause this ache is now more than I can take.
I'm wondering if even he can tell me ...
just how much a heart can bend before it breaks.

Maybe he can give me an X-ray ...
to figure out this pain in my chest.
Perhaps he'll tell me to take a break,
cause from this ache ... I'm thinking I need some rest.

Maybe there is a prescription,
something to quiet all these voices in my head.
It wasn't so long ago I heard only poetry and promise ...
now I only hear butterfly cries of loneliness instead.

And while I'm there ...
I think I will ask him to check my eyes.
I'm afraid they have lost their vision and clarity ...
for as hard as I try ... I can no longer see those butterflies.

These brown eyes used to see the shades of gray,
but now they just seem blind and jaded.
Some days I don't even recognize me ...
too much was lost from view when all my dreams faded.

While I'm there I'll ask for some ointment,
something to cool this intense burning beneath my skin.
I need some relief from the heat ...
from the smoldering flame that scorches me from with in.

Perhaps he can offer me some advice,
words of wisdom to help me recover what's left of me.
I don't remember her anymore ...
I lost track of me when she moved in with complacency.

Do you think he has a magic pill,
one that will cure the pain of unrequited.
I cant recall when this empty ache wasn't there,
and I know it was discontent ... that unrequited invited.

To be honest ... I don't think he can help,
it would take a miracle to make this ache go away.
Besides I'm too tired to follow his directions,
or perhaps deafened by denial to even hear what he has to say.

Come to think of it ... I don't need to see a doctor
I'm thinking I need to call an exorcist.
Cause no matter how many times I get burned ...
Still I never learn ... the pretty blue flame I cant resist.

I don't need a medical degree ... the answers are so easy to see ...
I'm the one who holds the key ... I just need to set myself ~free of me~.
HI ... my name is Janet Marie ... I'm my own worst enemy.


~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Doctor My Eyes
By: Jackson Browne


Doctor, my eyes have seen the years
And the slow parade of fears without crying
Now I want to understand

I have done all that I could
To see the evil and the good without hiding
You must help me if you can

Doctor, my eyes
Tell me what is wrong
Was I unwise to leave them open for so long

'Cause I have wandered through this world
And as each moment has unfurled
I've been waiting to awaken from these dreams
People go just where there will
I never noticed them until I got this feeling
That it's later than it seems

Doctor, my eyes
Tell me what you see
I hear their cries
Just say if it's too late for me

Doctor, my eyes
Cannot see the sky
Is this the prize for having learned how not to cry


**please forgive the droll tone,
I'm doing some personal spring cleaning,(purging)
I am fine, I promise.**




I love your imperfections ... I love your everything ...
Your broken heart ... your broken wings.




[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 04-19-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2001-04-19 03:21 PM


You are so wonderful and brave--you write your heart time and time again with such grace and style and sincerity of spirit. Not a moth, you....a butterfly painted irridescent---now go fertilize dem flowers baby and don't worry so much!  

love you.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2001-04-19 03:23 PM


Whoa....seems to me it needs to be some WE therapy

Waseem Cheema
Member
since 2001-03-16
Posts 369
Pakistan
3 posted 2001-04-19 03:55 PM


Yes you are very right Sunshine. it really looks
WE theropy.

I love to nice poetry.

EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
4 posted 2001-04-19 04:25 PM


"Come to think of it ... I don't need to see a doctor
I'm thinking I need to call an exorcist.
Cause no matter how many times I get burned ...
Still I never learn ... the pretty blue flame I cant resist.

I don't need a medical degree ... the answers are so easy to see ...
I'm the one who holds the key ... I just need to set myself ~free of me~.
HI ... my name is Janet Marie ... I'm my own worst enemy."

You know that I felt every word from every line Janet. Take care my friend, in time it shall come to pass that everything shall be as it should!


"Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our
feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly." ~unknown


Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2001-04-19 04:43 PM


JanetMarie~

'it would take a miracle to make this ache go away.'

If a hug helps ... you've got it.
If it takes a prayer to bring that miracle ...
you've got that too !

Love ya', sweet poet gal.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
6 posted 2001-04-19 04:50 PM


Sweet Janet, my heart aches with every word....I  understand the cleaning....me too in a way.....here's to healed hearts....hugs  SEA
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
7 posted 2001-04-19 05:35 PM


I understand... especially the ending... all too well. Why DOESN'T someone find a cure for heartbreak? What color ribbons should we wear to promote our cause... black and blue?  *S* Well written, gal...
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
8 posted 2001-04-19 05:44 PM


Well I am really big on choices - you can choose to let something or someone get you down or you can choose to realize that it was not meant to be, and move forward. Now in theory that all sounds good, but putting it into practice does require your own mindset, so take two "friends" and call me in the morning.  When you have ailments such as these, only leaning on your friends seems to work, and it is way cheaper than tylenol!  Janet Marie - huge hugs...I too am nursing a crack in my big muscle and it hurts darn bad, doesn't it?  

~*~ If the want a rainbow ~ you have to put up with a little rain ~*~

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
9 posted 2001-04-19 06:09 PM


JM,
I don't know why but what I was going to put in tomorrow seems to come to mind, sneek preview.

Hidden Wisdom

A town fool enters the bakery each morning
Ordering his daily bread.
The baker smiling and only sporting, asked
Would you like some cake instead?
The fool said I don't know what you mean by cake.
Why cake is but a fancy bread.
The fool thought and nodded his head and said
I think I'd rather simple bread.

Your poem is your usual wonderful.
Winkiewinkie Stinky

JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

10 posted 2001-04-19 07:03 PM


I can relate to so much of this, the loss, the questions, the acknowledgement of the problems core, the lack of strength to address it...great write!  Glad you are ok.

Speak when you are angry--and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret...Laurence J. Peter

Mabel A. Dilley
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 859
Seattle, WA, USA
11 posted 2001-04-19 07:03 PM


The doctor is in the house; the poet written on the page so wonderfully. My advise, listen to Mysteria - take three friends we are cheaper when purchased in a clump of blooming wildflowers.

"I am not now that which I have been."

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
12 posted 2001-04-19 07:06 PM


'To be honest ... I don't think he can help,
it would take a miracle to make this ache go away.
Besides I'm too tired to follow his directions,
or perhaps deafened by denial to even hear what he has to say.

Come to think of it ... I don't need to see a doctor
I'm thinking I need to call an exorcist.
Cause no matter how many times I get burned ...
Still I never learn ... the pretty blue flame I cant resist.'

Some achingly poignant lines here, JM...your words touch me, as they always do, m'friend...great write...

sp  

to be with you...
I've tried to hide my passion,
but it's just no use...
piece by piece I lose it
when you walk into the room...

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
13 posted 2001-04-19 07:11 PM


if only DR's could cure what ails us, we would all be well....letting it out helps and you are one of the best I've had the honor to read doing so....HUGS and more HUGS to you...Peace...


Lauren~


***

"Within you I lose myself
Without you I find myself
Wanting to be lost again."
-Unknown



Joyce Johnson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
14 posted 2001-04-19 07:26 PM


Oh, dear sweet Janet Marie.  I was hoping you'd find that doctor and pass his name around.  I don't think I want the exorist.
I love your poem Joyce

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
15 posted 2001-04-19 08:20 PM


Janet--I wish I had a remedy other then words, all I know is that time really is a healer...and I wouldn't have believed it either...and you are stronger then you think..you prove that by the way you write.  Hugs, sweet friend.
Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
16 posted 2001-04-19 08:49 PM


Good for you, JM, writing is very cleansing as every poet knows and you get to turn out some pretty great poetry in the bargain! *hugs*

good job!

-Tier

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
17 posted 2001-04-19 09:17 PM


Cleanse my heart...
Cleanse my soul...
Teach me how...
To let it go.......
ahhhhh yes sweet poetry
all the reasons that made
us smile and all the mirrors
that make us weep...it's here
baby...all the reasons that you
know my soul and all the words
say....yes....I KNOW...
Hugs to you sweet sister...
I love you...and your poetry shines
when you purge baby...on that I
cross my butterfly wings and hope
to fly~

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
18 posted 2001-04-20 09:07 AM


If you ever find a cure, you'll be a billionaire...I think this is one disease we've all had at one time or another. I think though that I've had a vaccination somewhere for it....the heart can't hurt if it doesn't feel anymore.....
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

19 posted 2001-04-20 10:02 AM


thank you all for these sweet, encouraging, responses ...
and for indulging my purging muse...
yes we heal as we write...but if we dont learn from our mistakes and try to treat our selves better.. then the need to heal is a constant process.
It aint easy being a moth in a world filled with butterflies(and pretty blue flames  
Thank you all for the good advice...
it is taken in the spirit in which it was given

my love to poetry land
jm

I love your imperfections ... I love your everything ...
Your broken heart ... your broken wings.


Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

20 posted 2001-04-20 10:03 AM


This is heartwrenching, just be careful who you put your trust in; the open heart is more vulnerable!

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


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