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Passions in Poetry

An Old Man's Race

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Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


0 posted 04-18-2001 08:14 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

An Old Man’s Race

Six foot tall
never over one fifty
in weight
“wiry” some would say
and that was him, a bit of
Bing Crosby if wearing the right hat,
sometimes a little bit of
Fred Astaire, when staging
some dance steps with
his Ginger

he was the kind who whistled while he worked

when he related stories
of his day or of other happenings, he had
this way of gesticulating, talking with his
hands, his left hand
picking at invisible lint on a nearby surface,
his right hand forming circles

carpenter’s hands

a man’s hands
that could pick up babies
and baby birds
lay concrete and hold kites, or
massage cramps from growing young legs

he must have been circling fifty when
some school boys, taunting him
with “old man” noises, which would
have haunted a lesser man,

well, he, with that lopsided grin framed
by two large ears
and a big old Roman nose
[Daddy, you’ve got a ski-nose!]
jutting from beneath his German blue eyes, said,
and it wasn’t hard to hear the
chuckle in the comment,
“well boys, care to try to
beat the old man
in a footrace?”

“Yeah, Old Man, you’re on!” and their
sarcasm capitalized their sarcasm.

He even gave the two of them a ten-foot
lead,

so he said, as one hand rounded in the air,
the other picking at invisible
lint on the table,

and what was not to believe?

Leaning forward, he imitated his run
in slow motion, how he put out his arms
to pump himself along, like a swimmer
using his arms to be pulled, then pushed
forward, blue eyes on the goal

and hitting the marker the boys had
set, two strides ahead of them,
he turned, waited for them
to hit the point they had designated, then the
three of them
made the return trip,

and he said, “I thought they
almost had me,”

but he finished the line, a couple
of paces ahead, the boys red-faced and
breathing hard,
hearing the “old man” say “thanks, boys”

and ever after that,
hearing “Sir,” from them
and respect
capitalized the word.


© Copyright 2001 Karilea Rilling - All Rights Reserved
Sven
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since 11-23-1999
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Lansing, MI USA


1 posted 04-18-2001 08:24 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

it's a race that he never lost. . .

wonderful my friend. . .

------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


2 posted 04-18-2001 08:26 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Karilea--a most delightful poem...written with heart.
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


3 posted 04-18-2001 09:45 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

I was captivated by the first stanza and reeled in. What a wonderful description of what was obviously a wonderful man....
Lone Wolf
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since 03-16-2000
Posts 5900
Lansing, MI USA


4 posted 04-18-2001 10:11 PM       View Profile for Lone Wolf   Email Lone Wolf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lone Wolf

Superb writing, Sunshine.  I enjoyed this one very much.  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

xoxoLUVRGURLxoxo
Junior Member
since 05-01-2000
Posts 10
Corpus Christi, tx


5 posted 04-18-2001 10:21 PM       View Profile for xoxoLUVRGURLxoxo   Email xoxoLUVRGURLxoxo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit xoxoLUVRGURLxoxo's Home Page   View IP for xoxoLUVRGURLxoxo

Very enjoyable poem, delightful as well
Gemini
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since 12-15-1999
Posts 1223
Wisconsin, USA


6 posted 04-18-2001 11:11 PM       View Profile for Gemini   Email Gemini   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Gemini

Very moving words in a world where respect is sometimes lost.  Was nice to hear these words this night.
Auguste
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since 02-16-2000
Posts 5326
By the sea


7 posted 04-19-2001 01:25 AM       View Profile for Auguste   Email Auguste   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Auguste's Home Page   View IP for Auguste

"a man’s hands
that could pick up babies
and baby birds
lay concrete and hold kites, or
massage cramps from growing young legs"

Karilea,

I loved the whole poem, but especially the part above.  Such good writing this is.  Just wonderful.  

Michael

Proust-
"Love is space and time measured by the heart"

Mysteria
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since 03-07-2001
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British Columbia, Canada


8 posted 04-19-2001 01:30 AM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

I wish I knew this man, what a lovely poem.
Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


9 posted 04-19-2001 07:19 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Karilea~
Touching tender here !
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


10 posted 04-26-2001 10:16 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

I just heard from a friend who read this, how much she liked it.  I see that I did not thank all that commented.

It is an honor to give tribute to a man who meant much to me.  I am glad that you all took a minute to get to know him.

Thank you.
coyote
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since 03-17-2001
Posts 1090


11 posted 04-26-2001 11:29 PM       View Profile for coyote   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for coyote

What a touching tribute told through a wonderful story, Karilea.
I love such tales. Thanks.  

"The rose, like the cactus flower, protects herself with thorns. We however, impale ourselves on their beauty."
coyote

suthern
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since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


12 posted 04-29-2001 03:43 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

You told a wonderful story and told it well... I was mesmerized. *S* I especially love the last verse! *S*
Mabel A. Dilley
Senior Member
since 03-17-2001
Posts 874
Seattle, WA, USA


13 posted 04-29-2001 03:50 PM       View Profile for Mabel A. Dilley   Email Mabel A. Dilley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mabel A. Dilley

Good narrative. I was there and watched him run.

"I am not now that which I have been."

Fagin
Member
since 05-07-2004
Posts 130
Ca


14 posted 06-29-2004 04:52 PM       View Profile for Fagin   Email Fagin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Fagin's Home Page   View IP for Fagin

"This has been another visual aide for Life 101" "Thanks and remember; if you still have a Mom or Dad, let 'em know it"
latearrival
Member Elite
since 03-21-2003
Posts 4407
Florida


15 posted 10-22-2010 03:32 PM       View Profile for latearrival   Email latearrival   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for latearrival

I do not think I was posting much when this was written. It deserves a boost. latearrival
Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


16 posted 10-22-2010 04:09 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Late...

Thank you. Now that my brother is with my Dad, I'm sure they're both smiling, as my brother was the last response before yours.

I don't know why or how you came across this today...but I thank you, sincerely.



 
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