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Open Poetry #13
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nakdthoughts
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since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines

0 posted 2001-04-13 11:56 AM



And so I take my battered soul
Sinking deep into the waters, scentless
No more sweetness to drown in
No more warmth to step out of
A coldness to freeze the moments
A stillness to view the past
And in my hand my lifeline to you
Waiting...

© Copyright 2001 Wynter Bliss - All Rights Reserved
bslicker
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321
state of mind
1 posted 2001-04-13 12:00 PM


Nice write
I hope that lifeline leads to the "you" whoever that might be.
Bernie
a smile a day keeps the world in  's.

Bernie Slicker

Kay
Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 70

2 posted 2001-04-13 02:13 PM


such sorrow in these lines.....I enjoyed this very much but I had a hard time reading the color!!!  Probably just me!

Kay
"when the going gets tough, the tough get going."

BrightStar
Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 219

3 posted 2001-04-13 02:16 PM


You really pour your heart and soul into this.  





[This message has been edited by BrightStar (edited 04-13-2001).]

Interloper
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
4 posted 2001-04-13 02:18 PM


I felt cold and alone while reading the first part but got perked up by your lines on the lifeline.  Have you turned the corner?  Your writing has so improved since I have been reading your work.

Write on!

Live for love. Without love, you don't live.


Sunshine
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2001-04-13 04:05 PM


Wynter....smiling.....
RMW
Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424

6 posted 2001-04-13 05:26 PM


Wynter....Lovely. I am reminded of a film (I'm always reminded of a film) I once saw where, written on a blackboard was the phrase, "...hope is the mother of all men..." This made me think of that. Very nice. Bob
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
7 posted 2001-04-13 06:12 PM


bslicker
well it didn't and had expected it not to...thank you


Kay
the color has always been gold for me and I see it fine on the blue background..sorry  maybe you need to darken your screen a bit and yes I feel "sorrowful" at the moment


BrightStar
I wrote it quite fast as the feelings flowed from within and when that happens you can't stop to change them.

Interloper
Well I am cold and alone and no there is no corner to turn  just one long wall rising higher in front of me..I am not so sure it has improved as some things I post lately are from 2 years ago when I first began writing as M/Moonchild elsewhere...I have my blue moods where I write with more heart I guess ...I am not sure.

Sunshine
well you may be smiling...thank you
I am contemplating leaving the net...

RMW  
thank you Bob...Hope sometimes to me is just another 4 letter word...in fact I wrote that in a letter to someone today.

Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
8 posted 2001-04-13 08:15 PM


Wynter~
Penetrating thoughts from deep within you.

We go back what ? ... some two and a half years ? ...
You and I have woven our lines in and out of each others lives for a while, my friend ...

YOU were the first inspiration for my 'form'
poetry
when I read your 'Circle Of Time' in October of 1999, on another site.
Do you remember it ?

Man, oh man ... I just HAD to do that ...
I copied it to my WordPad and thought it was the prettiest thing I'd ever read.
I would practice the form from time to time -
and never quite did it like 'Maureen'.

It took your inspiration to get me to the point in my form poetry that I am today ...
I will always thank you for that !

If you still have 'Circle Of Time' ... please post it for me.
Pretty please !

Stick around, gal ...
you write so lovely and have so much to share.

So I would say to you ... plzdntgo !  
*Hugs*
Love ya'
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
9 posted 2001-04-13 08:32 PM


Beautiful phrasing Maureen ... a very sorrowful, yet lovely read.  

Best wishes and hugs,
/Kit

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
10 posted 2001-04-14 06:31 AM


thank you Kit  and you  girl...geezz Marge you must have the largest memory bank of anyone I know...huggzz

yes I am feeling like leaving the net...many reasons...one to spend more time off here
and another because I am hoping to be working  very soon and beginning the process of supporting myself, which may take years at this stage of life...but it has to be done
and anyway..how am I ever going to find that  "special someone" to share all my  great qualities with if I am here, where only words and heart are seen...but the touch is missing... that can only be found in  real...and I am hoping to be following that "yellow brick road" very shortly.

Thank you again for cheering me up..I thought I was on my way to happiness but occasionally someone or something gets  thrown into my path and makes me stumble once too often.

Maureen

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



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