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nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines

0 posted 2001-04-07 04:51 PM



Sit Down Max!! (A family challenge elsewhere)

I've written about my Dad very often
and though he is the one in my heart,
often I remember my Grandfather who
was a joy and was missed just as much.

I remember that always old, he had seemed
for I was a young one of many.
And Sundays were wonderful way back then,
as we all went to visit family.

Children were everywhere, Aunts, Uncles, too.
Sundays were meant for "togetherness".
Meals were shared as we all sat around
learning, enjoying each other.

When ever we visited he would hand us each a gift,
silver dollars to every grandchild.
I wished I had kept them now, a memory gilt.
I think I spent them as fast as I received them.

I used to love to sit with him there,
at the table as he'd peel an apple
all in one piece, then hand me the skin,
as his false teeth couldn't handle it.

He would always go to the frig and say...
"Would you like something to eat?"
And my grandmother Bessie would say
"Oh sit down Max, they will get something if they want it."

When he took ill at the age of 85,
and she couldn't handle him at home anymore,
into a nursing home he went, where he hated it
because he had sworn he would never live in one.

I was still in my early twenties then.
I would go to visit by myself, and one holiday he had a stroke,
couldn't talk or communicate any longer
and just sat there in a highchair-like wheelchair.

That was my last visit. I tried to feed him,
his undershirt stained and slipping off his shoulders.
His eyes pleaded with me telling me his brain was still working.
And he was embarassed at how he looked.

I held his hand sat with him, watched him slip
into a drug induced sleep, leaned over
after they placed him into his bed again.
He, lying in a fetal position. I kissed him goodbye

on the forehead, knowing that this was the last time
I would be visiting him, as my heart couldn't take
what my eyes were seeing. And I swore to myself,
neither my Mom nor my Dad will ever

have to end their life in any place
where I wasn't able to be with them day or night.
The next day, he had the final stroke.
The one that he was waiting for....

My thought today is of how he looked the last time I saw him.
It hurts me so, when I view my memories.
But I also recall the last words of distant relatives,
friends, acquaintances and their family members

who always tell me how my Grandfather would help
anyone in need, with money, a place to stay
in anyway he could, even though they had very little
and had come to the United States by way of Ellis Island

at the age of twelve years old, alone by boat,
from Europe, at a time like today, when many
are persecuted for their religious beliefs.
And I recall sitting with my Grandmother

after the funeral, talking to her, and all she could say
was how angry she was with life, how all those
at the funeral, besides family, were "Max's" friends
How lonely she was, because she had outlived all hers...

My grandmother lived another 10 years
wishing she hadn't, missing him, and I am left
with my memories of both and the knowledge that they
had the greatest respect from all who knew and loved them.


~Wynter/Maureen



"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II


[This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (edited 04-07-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Wynter Bliss - All Rights Reserved
Joyce Johnson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
1 posted 2001-04-07 06:37 PM


How fortunate to have had your grandparents  and to have such lovely memories.  It is true you do start losing your peers, but that is what children and sweet grand-children are for.  You were their blessing.  Joyce
RMW
Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424

2 posted 2001-04-07 06:39 PM


Wynter,

Applause is warranted, but for the feeling of being in church. Very moving. Thank you. Bob

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
3 posted 2001-04-08 04:25 AM


Joyce and Bob, thank you both for your kind words  *s

Maureen

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
4 posted 2001-04-11 03:11 PM


I found your grandmother's situation particularly poignant because I lost an aunt last year who was 102... She'd outlived her parents, most of her siblings, her husband by almost 50 years... and her closest living friend was almost 20 years younger than she was... there really was no one left with shared memories. This is very touching... thanks for sharing! *S*
Brad Majors
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Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
5 posted 2001-04-11 04:09 PM


I have watched many people fall apart as they get older. I helped in retirement home when I was in college and all of them hated having to depend on others. Its so much harder to watch someone you love go through this. Well written
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
6 posted 2001-04-11 10:39 PM


Suthern
yes well they both touched me in many ways..and it is sad to outlive others...but  then again they get to see more of life also   thank you

Brad
thank you  yes..I  sometimes watch and think one day it will be me and  I dred that day...then I  see someone here in town  in their older years  sitting and chatting and leading a wonderful life  so..I am hoping for the latter..

~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



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