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Open Poetry #13
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

0 posted 2001-04-07 01:26 AM


Like a slow emptying heart
The night draws on
As I think of how to say your name
Funny how I never said your name that often
Because allowing myself that type of intimacy
Was just more than I could admit to myself.
And here I am in a low moment
Where the thunder threatens in a low growl
But I always liked the thunder
At least the sound was comforting
So, right now my thunder
This slow prance across my soul
Lets me know I can still feel,
Even while being left behind.
Heart grew a few pounds heavier when you left
Although you haven't really left
Not really..I keep telling myself that,
That in your way, as you promised, you're still here
And I'm not alone
But I feel I'm reaching across the distance
And not connecting
Just beyond my fingertips
Is your voice and your beautiful soul
Which needs to be free
And may be,
But I still hold the scent of you in my heart,
And your cool water refreshes my ache.
May nothing ever save me from this,  
For I do love you.


still d-i-s-c-o-n-n-e-c-t-e-d
I am bound by this, you see...to become Night's sole mistress, and I am jealous in my endeavours for his attention.

© Copyright 2001 Jennifer - All Rights Reserved
Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
1 posted 2001-04-07 01:33 AM


I love your poems because they are honest emotion and not just poetic fluff. Great job!
Joyce Johnson
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Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
2 posted 2001-04-07 01:38 AM


This is a touching, longing piece.  Joyce
Irie
Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493
Washington State
3 posted 2001-04-07 03:03 AM


Temptress....

The more I read into this, the more I was pulled in.
I absolutely loved the last lines.

quote:
But I still hold the scent of you in my heart,
And your cool water refreshes my ache.

These are so powerful!

Much enjoyed this piece!  

~Sheri

"The things that come to those that wait may be the things
left by those who got there first"



Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
4 posted 2001-04-07 10:49 AM


the longing here is just incredible. . . it's like your heart is opening. . .

you're reaching some superb depths with your writing these days my friend. . .  

--------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
5 posted 2001-04-07 10:59 AM


This tugs at my heart...I wish I had words enough to tell you how fantastic I think this is.....you made me feel this so easy....excellent my friend...truly excellent!    SEA
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
6 posted 2001-04-07 02:11 PM


Brad,
THANK YOU!   I appreciate your comments and the fact that you've been reading my work so much. It is an honor that you can see the heart I put into my words. Thank you again.

Joyce,
Thank you. I sometimes think if I can touch anyone, then I've accomplished more than I'll ever need to.

Irie,
Thank you so much, and I'm glad I have the ability to pull someone in.  Those are also my favorite lines, crafted for a special meaning, although not really anything profound.   Just something I hope someone noticed.  

Sven,
Thank you..and thank you. To the depths of our heart and souls, whether about love and its stages or anything else in life is the ONLY place to reach isn't it?   And..my heart is always open, thanks.  

SEA,
Thank you. I am truly glad that you felt it as well as read it. That is what I aim for, and sometimes almost speechless says thank you far louder than words.  

still d-i-s-c-o-n-n-e-c-t-e-d
I am bound by this, you see...to become Night's sole mistress, and I am jealous in my endeavours for his attention.

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