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Open Poetry #13
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Panne447
Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 196
S.A. TX

0 posted 2001-04-06 03:32 PM


      Real Heroes


Concerned with myself,
I walked the streets of life
the pavers of cities,
the sidewalks of suburbs
unseeing.  
I know they are there.
I have seen them ~
unnoticed them (by choice?)~
      the heroes of survival
who break a found half-chewed sandwich
to share with another;
who give one shoe found in Monday’s pick-up
to a stranger in need of two soled shoes;
who smile at passers-by (me?)
that do not even stop to give them a dime.

An old fellow traveler,
a young lost soul,
a family fading from poverty,
a student no longer in school
      these are the real heroes
whose address is a box or a car
who decorates his life
in a shopping cart
While my shadow slips over them
in the sunlight
dims their streetlamp
in the moonlight
and gives them nothing ~
not even a smile.

Why? because I am so poor
I can’t even afford to pay attention.

   by Panne

iPlease ask for permission before you copy my work to your files or a greeting card.  Thank you. Panne/i

© Copyright 2001 Panne447 - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-04-06 03:34 PM


The last two lines wrapped it all up....I shall never be that poor....I hope.....
Brad Majors
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Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
2 posted 2001-04-06 03:45 PM


I like this piece. You have alot of skill and soul as well! Enjoyed  
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2001-04-06 06:22 PM


Enjoyed this interesting poem and like Sunshine, the last two lines were a great conclusion.  
Interloper
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
4 posted 2001-04-06 06:24 PM


At least you recognize it.

Well done!

Live for love. Without love, you don't live.


Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
5 posted 2001-04-08 09:51 PM


Pay attention, Panne...


This is quite adeptly done - I see a great deal of wisdom and writing skill wrapped nicely together here.. Superb..

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
6 posted 2001-04-08 10:36 PM


panne, this is as close to true poetry in my book as it gets..a very insightful way of looking at what one sees every day in a new light..very well done
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
7 posted 2001-04-09 01:19 AM


The work can be praised, but the HEART of this poem is amazing. I really enjoyed this. Thank you for caring.
painted lady
Junior Member
since 2001-04-01
Posts 48
on the wing or nectaring
8 posted 2001-04-09 01:34 AM


Or because we move too fast to care.  In another time zone, are we?
Nice work, Panne447.


And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.          Wm Wordsworth  (I Wondered Lonely as a Cloud)

[This message has been edited by painted lady (edited 04-10-2001).]

Packratmike
Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632
California, USA
9 posted 2001-04-09 02:52 AM


Nice poem Panne.  I agree with the comments about the last two lines.

Mike

coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077

10 posted 2001-04-10 12:32 PM


Great poem, Panne.

"Inasmuch as ye have not given unto the least of one of these my brethren, ye have not given unto me."

And everyone has a story. I wish we could hear them all......

Thanks, for the reminder..  

"I hate quotes, they suck!"
I.G. Norance

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
11 posted 2001-04-10 12:38 PM


powerful stuff here!  I agree with every other comment as well.  That last line is gripping!  I would love to make a copy of this and share it with a few friends.  Do I have your permission?  It could certainly be the springboard for a stewardship meditation!
Nicolette Fox
Junior Member
since 2001-04-10
Posts 10
Michigan
12 posted 2001-04-10 12:49 PM


I live downtown in a large city, and see people like the ones you discribe everyday. I'm glad to know that someone else cares enough to think about the unfortunate people who have no place to call home, and who can respect the integrety that many of them
have. The homeless man who stands by the gas station asking for change always makes me smile by asking how my songwriting is going. That these are real people is something that so many people are blind too, and I share in your sadness at recognising that. Profound poem!

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
13 posted 2001-04-10 12:55 PM


Panne, I can't tell you how important poems like these are.  I wrote something called, My Two New Frieds ( a true story) about a homeless man I befriended, and during that short friendship I was humbled by their wisdom, tolerance of ignorance, and above all else their integrity.  Thanks for your wisdom in writing this down for those who have no voice.  I respected your writing.
Effigy
Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486
disbelief
14 posted 2001-04-10 01:03 AM


Very, very well done. I enjoyed your writing very much. Keep it up.
Panne447
Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 196
S.A. TX
15 posted 2001-04-10 07:58 AM


Thank you all for taking the time to read and for your insights and comments.
Sunshine, I am afraid I have been that poor on occasion and hope I shall never be again.

Brad, thanks so much. I am glad you enjoyed this piece.

Martie - thank you - the last 2 lines were the impetus for this piece.

Interloper - thanks so much

Nan - thank you for the superb - It is interesting how the ones I think are so so and the ones I think are superb are never the same ones...

Balladeer, thank you so much - your comments mean a lot.

PoetseVine, Thank you for reading and feeling your heart thru this piece.

pl, thank you - yes sometimes we move to fast and sometimes we are prejudiced against the homeless and sometimes we just don't think.

Mike, glad you came in to read and thank you.

coyote, yes we all have stories and we all have 'reasons' to avoid the ones whose stories are worse than ours. Your welcome and Thanks.

VAS, Thank you also for coming in and commenting. I appreciate your input.

Nicollete thank you for sharing your story and for your input.

Mysteria - thanks so much - where is your poem- I will check it out

Effigy - Thank you - with God's Grace I hope to continue.

Thank you all for you kind comments. They are very much appreciated. Panne

kaile
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
16 posted 2001-12-22 08:07 AM


panne, i enjoyed this a lot..will try to do a personal critique for you after christmas..

hope life is well..

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
17 posted 2003-02-22 12:02 PM


well, i never did that critique but i still like this....
Panne
Junior Member
since 2001-01-31
Posts 15
South TX, USA
18 posted 2003-02-22 12:12 PM


Thanks Kai Le,  Look forward to it if you still want to critique it - it's been a while since I wrote this and am not sure I can still post a reply in PIP- so I shall see and you will too- lol
Panne

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