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Open Poetry #13
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Ode To An Awakening
| Open Poetry #13 |
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Ode To An Awakening |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven 
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Too many darkening skies overhead have seen another day’s light go fleeing to hide from where that morning’s hope had bled Tasting now the breath of evenings being then spitting out the bitterness it holds night looses fears the sun keeps from freeing Ghostly thoughts unleashed as darkness unfolds become nightmares when reddened eyes grow dim like vile demons that hell itself upholds Her clarion sound fills the dreaming earth Shaking brightness from tangled life so grim The melody of her strong voice gives birth To spirits reborn with a chance though slim the moon may once again arise for him There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jamie Patterson - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
wow Jamie, this is fantastic......I loved the way you did this  SEA |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
And there is hope...... wonderfully said Jamie.  |
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Mabel A. Dilley Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 859Seattle, WA, USA |
It was difficult to chose just one image that caught my thoughts, but this one came close: "to hide from where that morning’s hope had bled". I enjoyed this and projected our spoken words to my ears. "I am not now that which I have been." |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Ain't got no words for it here dear... oh, maybe a few: the moon will ALWAYS shine for you.  Tigger KAll obscurity starts with a danger: |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Jamie, this is a wonderfully dramatic composition. Your use of rhythm, near and slant rhyme is quite becoming. Thanks for it. Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
SEA- Glad you like the form-- it is Terza Rima. Sharon- Perhaps with the help of a palm reader eh? Julian-- Thank you very much. Tigger-- Aint got no words? You .. (and don't think I didn't get the little dig at my expense ( don't have any )...heh Claire-- I am so glad you enjoyed it,, thanks bunches. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
There was NO DIG humph btw - as usual forgot to put it in the library... ~sulking~ dig indeed KAll obscurity starts with a danger: Your dangers are many. I Cannot look much but your form suffers Some strange injury Sylvia Plath [This message has been edited by Severn (edited 04-06-2001).] |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Jamie--I am impressed by this remarkable poem...beautifully done! |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Too many darkening skies overhead have seen another day’s light go fleeing to hide from where that morning’s hope had bled Excellent writing Jamie Dear. Maree Love which is not always springing is always dying. |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Tig-- sorry, sometimes i read too much from past words.. Martie-- Thanks, I have never thought of my self as impressive before ..lol Maree--- Thanks dear one.. There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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