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Open Poetry #13
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Doldrums
| Open Poetry #13 |
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Doldrums |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla 
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Doldrums The ocean waters lay like glass The broiling sun made waves instead. The light exploded polished brass And shadows took the shades of dread. A wheel of burning ebony And squinting eyes brought weal from welt A thirst of inner agony The driest dry I’ve ever felt. The sails hung dirty gimp and gray The rope of taupe looped limp and still The muffled soundless eerie day The drain of mind and lose of will. A week of nothing takes its toll It drains you dry of wit and mane It reigns your mind and drains your soul It strains your frame and feel of sane. The darkest of a nightmare dream The doldrums echo nothings deem. [This message has been edited by Seymour Tabin (edited 04-04-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Such vivid images with this one! Wow! Great write Seymour!!  SEA |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
The wettest dry I've ever felt. ================================================================= Cool line for a poem that is windswept and wonderful. Not stuck in the doldrums at all. Kethry Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I'm almost sea-sick from the light roll of the waves, and could wish for the storm that would blow this away.... a sad write, my Sy....perhaps your day will brighten soon.... |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Seymour, my friend... this is fantastic... regards to you, sudhir |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Sea, Thank you, did a rewrite, hope you like it. Kethry, I hope not, thanks. Sunshine, Just a poem. *L* Sudhir, Thanks for the fantastic. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
A wheel of burning ebony And squinting eyes brought weal from welt A thirst of inner agony The driest dry I’ve ever felt. The sails hung dirty gimp and gray The rope of taupe looped limp and still The muffled soundless eerie day The drain of mind and lose of will. A week of nothing takes its toll It drains you dry of wit and mane It reigns your mind and drains your soul It strains your frame and feel of sane. The darkest of a nightmare dream The doldrums echo nothings deem. ========================== my goodness Sy-babes....does Randy have heartburn *L*... such a cranky lil dragon poem  MORE LIKE -- Such a way cool poem!!!!! "A wheel of burning ebony And squinting eyes brought weal from welt A thirst of inner agony The driest dry I’ve ever felt." that is the coolest verse Sy the imagery of the first two lines.... and the poetic phrasing of the last two... and then lets talk about the inner rhyme divine.... "A week of nothing takes its toll It ~drains~ you dry of wit and ~mane~ It ~reigns~ your mind and ~drains~ your soul It ~strains~ your ~frame~ and feel of ~sane~." 7 inner rhymes in ONE verse??? ok... now youre just showing off LOL way cool... nothing Droll, Dull or Dumb here *winkiewinkie*  meIt's such a clever innocence with which you show myself to me As if you know how it feels to never be who you wanted to be ~jackson browne~ [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 04-05-2001).] |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
"The doldrums echo nothing's deem" Simply brilliant... You're awesome, Sweet Sy... I just LOOOOVE your couplets...  |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Dear JM, your putting jam on the spam, but I love it. Winkiewinkie Stinky Thank you Nan, And I love your articulates too. See you soon Love Sy |
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