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Open Poetry #13
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Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2001-04-04 07:50 AM


the tomorrow has arrived
again
just like the day after the night
and I check my 'fresh' look
nothing seems different
except that
a stubborn stubble has grown

I move my fingers to feel
and the stubble stabs back
with rough edges
almost as if
the hurt of yesterday
has come out
in the open
and beckoning
the edge of the razorblade
to shave it off --
'come and get me', it said
in mocking insult!

some things don’t change overnight!

I wet the stubble
with cold water
and cover it with
shaving foam
as I try to hide it
attempting to disguise
the hurt with a mask
and with vengeance
use a razor
with a fresh new blade
that shone a beam of light
from the overhead bulb
and the beam reflected
off the looking glass.

a few slashes later
the stubble was gone,
yet, the hurt remained
as if telling
'you got rid of me for now
but by evening I'll be back'
just as the night after the day.

I will shave again tomorrow!

'!'

© Copyright 2001 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2001-04-04 08:31 AM


ah...the futility of it all...you speak to my heart again...(although, I swear I am NOT shaving!--well, not yet, anyway!)  

I love the way you take a concept and just wrap around it, Sudhir...the details and allusions implied illustrate your point vividly! Loved this muchly!

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
2 posted 2001-04-04 10:08 AM


Wonderful analogy, Sudhir.  Gives us something to ponder about life.  Very original work, my friend.  I enjoyed it.     

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
3 posted 2001-04-04 12:41 PM


O Serene One, and I love your replies... thank you

Lone Wolf... thanks for reading and for the wonderful compliments...

Regards to all,
Sudhir

Packratmike
Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632
California, USA
4 posted 2001-04-04 12:55 PM


Sudhir......I enjoyed this, very much.  I haven't shaved yet this morning and while exploring this fantastically drawn picture of words, I kept rubbing at the stubble on my chin.  Great read!  Thank you.

Mike

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2001-04-04 01:15 PM


This, too, is the circle of life....

keep writing my friend!

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
6 posted 2001-04-04 01:59 PM


Watching a man shave fascinates me... but you've added perspective I would never have considered. *S* Great work, Sudhir... I enjoyed it very much!
Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
7 posted 2001-04-04 02:25 PM


So very well done.  Yes, it WILL be there tomorrow and the day after.

Live for love. Without love, you don't live.


Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

8 posted 2001-04-04 07:09 PM


every day is a blessing isn't it, Sudhir, thank you for this
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
9 posted 2001-04-05 03:15 AM


Mike, Thank YOU for coming by...

Karilea, I try to understand this much so... thanks a lot, my friend...

suthern, I am glad that you enjoyed this perspective... thanks

interloper, thanks for the compliments... and for reading, of course...

Kathleen, and I thank you for coming by...

Regards to all,
Sudhir.

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

10 posted 2001-04-06 08:23 AM


Very nicely composed, Sudhir. Your critique tag says you encourage them, so I will gently ask that you check your tenses for continuity. Hope this helps.  

Take care,
Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
11 posted 2001-04-07 05:57 AM


Yes Sudhir it seems to be exactly like this...James
kcsgrandma
Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1522
Presque Isle, ME
12 posted 2001-04-07 11:18 AM


You write movingly of pain that does not go away, and we all feel with you. And yet, might there not be another approach? For if you do not shave that stubble, but experience it, it will grow out and soften with time. Just a thought for you. May you win this battle.

To love another person is to see the face of God.
- Les Miserables

Marilyn

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
13 posted 2001-04-07 11:40 AM


Sudhir~
What a very, very intersting piece.
I enjoy your perspectives on life.
A little stubble-surfing is a good thing.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Saunni
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777
West Virginia
14 posted 2001-04-09 06:44 PM


Wow, this is very creative! I enjoyed this a lot. Cool write  

Sauni

Sauni :)
Have you ever known the color grey when the nighttime finds you weak
I have, I've walked that road each time; that's where my angel sleeps

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
15 posted 2001-04-10 10:06 AM


Sudhir,
perfect picture here:
=================================================================
the stubble stabs back
with rough edges
almost as if
the hurt of yesterday
has come out
in the open
and beckoning

You know I love it when you write on
Kethry

Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life.  Patty Hansen.



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