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Open Poetry #13
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Tonight- in Rictameter
| Open Poetry #13 |
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Tonight- in Rictameter |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Tonight- in Rictameter Tonight This ache, my heart Sits broken at thy feet The pieces scattered dust to wind Alas, absurd love core, naïve of pain Whimpers aloud for hell’s wrath cease Moonbeams bid me make haste Caress and heal Tonight Marina Mar 30/2001 It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen Marina Crossley [This message has been edited by Marina (edited 04-02-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Marina Crossley - All Rights Reserved | |||
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
I think this one is deeper than my understanding, a good one to sit and ponder/discuss with others. I do like the feel of it, though. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
The pieces scattered dust to wind Alas, my absurd love core, naïve of pain Whimpers aloud for hell’s wrath cease Moonbeams bid me make haste ====================== oooh I like this... such dramatic imagery and emotions. love the vocab and language... So give me my poetry lesson for today teach... I see a pattern of 8 syllables ... what are the requirements of Rictameter? It's such a clever innocence with which you show myself to me |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Here you go Girl....... Rictameter Rictameter is a scheme similar to haiku. Starting your first line with a two syllable word, you then consecutively increase the number of syllables per line by two. i.e. 2,4,6,8,10 Then down again, 8,6,4,2 Making the final line the same two letter word you began with. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
This is really cool Marina!!!! I like it!!! It's a great form, and your words are excellent. . . thanks for introducing it!!!  ---------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
THANK YOU ... now I learned something today  heres and apple for the teach... can I be teachers pet instead of class clown   HEY ... I even found one with a butterfly tattoo LOL ...  |
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Panne415 Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 104San Antonio |
Marina, This is so cool. I have never heard of this form. So thanks, I think I will write down these instuctions for my homework. Alas, I count 11 syls though on line Alas, my absurd love core, naïve of pain A las my ab surd love core, ni ev of pain but if you delete word 'core' it becomes 10 and I think makes better sense and a stronger statement. I will see what else I can find about this rictameter and someday maybe post one for you to critique for me. It is great to learn a new form. Thanks. I hope you let Janet be teacher's pet - great pictures Janet. Panne |
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Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA |
Oh no!!! Don't get me started on this "rictameter" stuff!! I'm still trying to break my "cinquain" habit!!! Very nice poem, Marina. (And thanks for the lesson.) Mike |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
very artfully done... tippin my wings! Hate is a dead thing. Who of you would be a tomb? -Kahlil Gibran |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Marina~ This is just wonderfully done ! A marvelous sharing example ... I certainly enjoyed it. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
sad.........poignant piece here |
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Martinque Member
since 2000-05-17
Posts 69 |
This is a very interesting style. Great choice of words. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Outstanding...and a form I might try myself... |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Excellent indeed, Marina... Regards, Sudhir |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Nice to see this one up on the cyber screen. You seem to be having fun I see with these new forms.. James |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Vas, thank you. Jan, thanks for the apple. But in order to graduate you have to write something new for Addy!!  So get going!! Sven, thank you Panne, thank you for the heads up and for dropping by. Try one, I am sure you will enjoy it. Mike, what can I say??? I'm in too something new! Try it with a Cinquain! Local Rebel, nice of you to stop in. Thanks for the "Tip". Marge, thank you very much. Coming from apoet such as yourself, I truly appreciate it. Kathleen, thank you so much, but luckily for simply made up! Martinque, thank you so much Sunshine, give it a try! Sudhir, thank you my friend. Long time no see. James, these new types of poetry make for excellent learning experiences to broaden my poetic abilities. ( I think...,) Marina It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen |
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