»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #13
»
Exodus
| Open Poetry #13 |
|
Exodus |
|
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
|
Here's one more before I sleep--- I'm not dawn, I do not bleed. I do not tackle morning's sun- I'm not romance. I'm not "the one." I do not hold the pole of jest, no banner waving to the west--- as I dig my heels in joust-- I tuck my head- envision, SOUTH. O' my raucous righteous steed in flank of muscle all I need To think I can fulfill my greed-- to pacify my gauze, bequeathed. Piece of cotton turning pink A Sea of Red-- departing reeds I found a path beneath the Sea-- Commanding God- oh-set me free! Behind me, all the armies fold amid the tide of river's olde and every cry my ear's chagrin I prayed that they would live again... Again, within the chattel's chains in symphony of sigh's remains beneath the sea in weeds of blame and nothing ever quite the same-- beginning is the end. [This message has been edited by serenity (edited 04-02-2001).] |
||
| © Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
wonderous writing. I do love it.  still d-i-s-c-o-n-n-e-c-t-e-d |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
in symphony of sigh's remains beneath the sea in weeds of blame .... poetic perfection... excellent work, O serene one... Regards, Sudhir |
||
|
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
serenity, sometimes the depth of emotion in your work is downright scarey. Very powerful piece here. Truly enjoyable read for me this morning. Thank you. Michael |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
*sigh. You make it look so easy. I love this...... |
||
|
jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
no kidding, I ditto PVD...I couldn't write this well if I tried hard, and you make it look like it just flows out with ease |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I tuck my head- envision, SOUTH.  *smile*O' my raucous righteous steed in flank of muscle all I need To think I can fulfill my greed-- to pacify my gauze, bequeathed. Piece of cotton turning pink A Sea of Red-- departing reeds I found a path beneath the Sea-- Commanding God- oh-set me free! =================== Again, within the chattel's chains in symphony of sigh's remains beneath the sea in weeds of blame and nothing ever quite the same-- beginning is the end. =================== ahhh me twin... youre working those metaphors like breathing and your rhyme is like second skin... you are rhyme baby... "Again, within the chattel's chains in symphony" and what a very cool line that is, as is the imagery in this beauty.  meIt's such a clever innocence with which you show myself to me As if you know how it feels to never be who you wanted to be ~jackson browne~ [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 04-02-2001).] |
||
|
VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
What Michael said, and likely others, I didn't read all the praises. Your writing becomes more profound all the time! Amazing stuff here! |
||
|
Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
how very ominitive... maybe? I don't know... I'm still looking for the right word..a curious mix miss... |
||
|
Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Deep and powerful words. You always write so well. All writing comes |
||
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
I'm always amazed at the Spiritual quality of your writing. . . you seem to be able to tap into those questions and mysteries so well. . . wonderful serenity. . . ---------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
||
|
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
"Let my people go" !!!!!!! |
||
|
Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Perfection as always sweet friend...I always am able to just lose myself in your words |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
flawlessly executed, Serenity. Your words flow over the tongue so smoothly.... |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thank you Temptress! Sudhir, thank you being so gracious! Michael, you made me giddy! Scary?  "Sometimes I give myself the creeps..." Green Day..thank YOU. Thank you Sharon...though I'm really glad you guys can't see me! I can make ANYTHING look difficult! jb? OH BOSH!!! you underestimate yourself---YOU are VERY good! But thanks for the nice compliment! JM? There are certains lines I write and think of you immediately...lol...SOUTH? Oh yeah, baby! I somehow knew that line would make ya smile! Thanks for the fun!Virginia, I thank you very much--you are a thoughtful poet AND reader! Reb--ya made me look that up! And? I still don't have a clue! But "curious mix" is an apt description. Thanks. I think. LW---Thanks as ever! Yer too kind. Sven...it just comes out that way...although we do know there is a decidedly UNSPIRITUAL slant to some of my work! Thank you!Irish--the quest for freedom is a noble enterprise, yes? Thanks for reading! Paula, thanks again..someday I hope people can FIND themselves in my words tho...I'll keep trying! Michael...gotta go with the flow, yanno? ty for reading and for all your help in the past!Much Gratitude and Love to all. Thanks Again. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
