friendship(cinquain) - pipTalk Forums

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kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

0 posted 2001-03-31 11:56 AM

Silent
amidst the
loud cheery banter
of people i hardly
know

Yet
honoured that
they included me
in their tight cohesive
circle

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

1 posted 2001-03-31 12:06 PM

Hmmmm, we differ in philosophy, however, you've expressed your point well!

dgvarner
Member Elite

since 2000-05-13

Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida

2 posted 2001-03-31 05:58 PM

yes..i've been there...and i smiled too

i like this one a lot, faterider

hugs, g

where am i...WHOA! and what am i doing in this handbasket!?!

Marina
Member Elite

since 2000-02-10

Posts 2245
Pickering, Ontario

3 posted 2001-03-31 07:04 PM

Cinquain is obiviously your thing!

True words here. Wonderful job.

Marina

It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen
Marina Crossley

Panne415
Member

since 2001-03-21

Posts 104
San Antonio

4 posted 2001-04-01 06:56 AM

Kai, I liked this and the double cinquain works well and both are informal cinqauins.
Hmmm - can see you even now in this situation. I would suggest that you change the "Yet" in your 2nd cinquain to "I'm"...see what a difference it makes. I think it brings more cohesion and impact to your piece. But that's just me- as always.
Glad I saw this - while looking for this I found one by jwesley. So glad I went looking for you - Panne

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

5 posted 2001-04-01 01:44 PM

wonderful kaile. . .

I really liked that you combined the two here. . . wonder if there's a name for a form that includes more than one cinquain???

excellent. . .

--------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Watersign6
Senior Member

since 2001-05-25

Posts 823
Hurricane,WV

6 posted 2001-06-06 08:26 AM

very good!

Mon Cherie

Senior Member

since 2001-10-31

Posts 922
Land of Never-ending Summers

7 posted 2001-12-10 10:54 AM

That's rather magnanimous of you!! Feeling honoured? If I were you, I'd just feel downright lonely and leftout. I don't think I'll have the energy to think of a good reason why they would include me.

_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

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