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Open Poetry #13
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tradewind
Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 101


0 posted 2001-03-31 09:13 AM


i remember when Stars
fell flat on the water
and peered through the ocean
for a beautiful fish
that broke through the surface
like a pale streak of lightening
stealing the silver
from each floating wish

and without silver skin
black vacancies spread
seeped ever outward
polluted the shore
and the beautiful fish
grown heavy with glimmer
sank, with our dreams
to the dark ocean floor

© Copyright 2001 tradewind - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2001-03-31 09:21 AM


Tradewind,
I'm jealous beautiful rhyming. Excellent poem

Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
2 posted 2001-03-31 09:25 AM


tradewind, I love your imagery.  A very enjoyable read.


Michael

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2001-03-31 09:37 AM


i remember when Stars
fell flat on the water
and peered through the ocean
==========================
like a pale streak of lightening
stealing the silver
from each floating wish

and without silver skin
black vacancies spread
seeped ever outward
====================
grown heavy with glimmer
sank, with our dreams
to the dark ocean floor
=====================

once again your unique and clever imagery impress...
very cool poem tw ...
slightly haunted in its melancholy edged with dark... very cool indeed.  

It's such a clever innocence with which you show myself to me
As if you know how it feels to never be who you wanted to be
~jackson browne~

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
4 posted 2001-03-31 09:52 AM


Beautiful.  

We're sorry..this heart has been d-i-s-c-o-n-n-e-c-t-e-d. Should you like to hold the line we'll be glad to reconnect you..

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

5 posted 2001-03-31 09:57 AM


As a nature lover, and a lover of goldfish I felt this!

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


tradewind
Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 101

6 posted 2001-03-31 07:40 PM


thanks everyone, for taking time to read and comment. i appreciate the nice words!
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