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Open Poetry #13
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Ladycat
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Senior Member
since 1999-07-05
Posts 782
At the edge and a doorway,TX

0 posted 2001-03-30 10:26 AM


Promises never kept
like lies from a serpents tongue
Always leaving me in waiting
Like a lost puppy looking for a home
Nothing suprizes me anymore
Lost without love
Where are the things you gave to comfort me and keep me warm
You were it
Saddness creeps into my life
Sits on my shoulder and offers to eat dinner with me
I, in usual fashion, cry
What is there left to say
For a moment in time I truely thought you cared
Things will never be the same again
I know this now
Distance has made us lose the feeling
So tonight, I will not just be alone, but lonely

Love,
Lady

Live in my world just once and you'll find yourself enraptured.


© Copyright 2001 Vynette M. Charles-Brooks - All Rights Reserved
Alicat
Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas
1 posted 2001-03-30 10:47 AM


Well, FWIW, I hope you have a much better year ahead of you, and I know the sadness you speak of acutely. Though some might disagree, alone is a state of being, lonely a state of mind. You might not always be able to change your state of being, but you can always change your mind.

As for the poem itself, it's pretty good as far as free-verse goes. The read is there, but is a tad jerky and bulky towards the middle, but that's just personal bias.

Oh, BTW, when the clock hands are a gnat's whisker after midnight on April 2nd, remember this: Happy Birthday, Ladycat!

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
2 posted 2001-03-30 12:13 PM


There's not much we can do when someone so important to us, doesn't keep up their half of the 'bargain'.  You're strong, girl - beautiful, and a wonderful mother.  Move forward, and your friends will step with you.

As for the poem, well done - you have a knack for free-verse.  Hugs and love..
Nic

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
3 posted 2001-03-30 02:38 PM


This is heartbreaking, and I can imagine the rough times you're going through right now.
When those 'good' days come, they'll mean that much more.

You know we're always here for you, we'll step with you, walk with you. Much love and Hugs to ya, and lil' rugrat too.  

<*\\\><

I know not what the future holds,
but I know Who holds the future.

I don't question YOUR existance - GOD


dragonpoe
Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608
Palm Bay, Florida
4 posted 2001-03-30 02:54 PM


"So tonight, I will not just be alone, but lonely"  <--- powerful line, this one.  Great display of sadness. Enjoyed the read.

With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free..
dragonpoe

Waseem Cheema
Member
since 2001-03-16
Posts 369
Pakistan
5 posted 2001-03-30 03:28 PM


A very nice way to express ones expression of sadness.

              "Always leaving me in waiting"
is happening with me now a days.

"Where are the things you gave to comfort me and keep me warm" is really a great.....

May God bless you and make u happy soon...

I love to nice poetry.

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
6 posted 2001-03-30 08:35 PM


Sad, Lady, Smile.
This is a wonderful poem of expression.

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