Open Poetry #13 |
Rembrandts on the Wall |
PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
As I close my eyes I can picture it all How it just came together How it then came to fall Back then was another time Seems like another age We were actors amongst ourselves Waiting to take to stage Performing our little scenes and Portraying our parts With unconscious ease and Speaking from sleeping hearts Learning to hit the marks And entrances on cue Graceful movements And improvising a line or two Until finally act three Comes to resolution The applause helps With the absolution The curtain must come down The audience disappears somehow We go back to being strangers After taking the final bow And finally, as I close my eyes I see pictures of us all How we seemed to come together How we then came to fall Like so many Rembrandts on the wall |
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© Copyright 2001 J.M. Landry - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
{{{APPLAUDING}}} |
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Just A Woman Senior Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 507 |
Oh EXCELLENT!!!!!!! Wonderful flow and depth. You're on a roll, PK! "Often the test of courage is not to die but to live" |
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PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
Thank you. |
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Tennessee Angel Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661Tennessee |
Oh my gosh! I love it! -------------------- We were actors amongst ourselves waiting to take stage... -------------------- Like so many Rembrandts on the wall.. -------------------- I enjoyed every line but those two are my favorites. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I think I know what you mean........... this is sad...... |
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inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
I can see the crowd giving this a standing ovation. Come back and take another BOW!! |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
PK, I know now that you're trapped in this time. . . superb. . . ------------------------------------------------------ To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
With unconscious ease and Speaking from sleeping hearts Learning to hit the marks And entrances on cue Graceful movements And improvising a line or two Until finally act three Comes to resolution The applause helps With the absolution ============================ And finally, as I close my eyes I see pictures of us all How we seemed to come together How we then came to fall Like so many Rembrandts on the wall ========================= "With unconscious ease and Speaking from sleeping hearts" "The applause helps With the absolution" "How we seemed to come together How we then came to fall" those are some very cool lines PK your rhyme flow added to the pleasure of this bittersweet, reflective, expressive piece. Clever employ of metaphor as well. This was like a poetic photograph from memorys yearbook or a diary entry that froze time for just a while. the Rembrants reference was cool as well. |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Read this one a few times. A relationship that never really was... just two people playing their parts for the crowd until such time as the curtain was lowered. A modern day tale that finds it's roots in antiquity... a show that has been performed through the ages. What I liked about this one is that it also made me think of a time when court life and intrigue were a part of this world... where conversation could be as deadly as a sword... thrust and perry... a slip of the tongue and you were ruined. Thank you for sharing... I bow to you and yours. |
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Panne415 Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 104San Antonio |
PK, Nice easy flow- not so easy sentiments but too often too true. I enjoyed this for all its obvious and hidden meanings. Panne |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Portraying our parts With unconscious ease and Speaking from sleeping hearts I love those lines... I am trying so hard not to be inspired today and there you go again... ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". |
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PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
Thank you all so, so much for your replies to this new one. SEA, what's your take on this? |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Being in here...us..."taking the stage".......but when the curtain falls, we are as we were before.....strangers..... ok, so maybe I'm being dramatic.....my mom used to call me her little Sarah Bernheart.....but that is how it felt when I read it and it felt sad...... SEA |
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PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
That is one interpretation, very nice...dig deeper...thanks, and yes, it is sad. |
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