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Open Poetry #13
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PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA

0 posted 2001-03-29 05:03 PM


As I close my eyes
I can picture it all
How it just came together
How it then came to fall

Back then was another time
Seems like another age
We were actors amongst ourselves
Waiting to take to stage
Performing our little scenes and
Portraying our parts
With unconscious ease and
Speaking from sleeping hearts
Learning to hit the marks
And entrances on cue
Graceful movements
And improvising a line or two
Until finally act three
Comes to resolution
The applause helps
With the absolution
The curtain must come down
The audience disappears somehow
We go back to being strangers
After taking the final bow

And finally, as I close my eyes
I see pictures of us all
How we seemed to come together
How we then came to fall

Like so many Rembrandts on the wall


© Copyright 2001 J.M. Landry - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-03-29 05:07 PM


{{{APPLAUDING}}}

Just A Woman
Senior Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 507

2 posted 2001-03-29 05:11 PM


Oh EXCELLENT!!!!!!!   Wonderful flow and depth.   You're on a roll, PK!

"Often the test of courage is not to die but to live"

~Vittorio Alferi~

PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA
3 posted 2001-03-29 05:16 PM


Thank you.
Tennessee Angel
Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661
Tennessee
4 posted 2001-03-29 06:24 PM


Oh my gosh!  I love it!  
--------------------
We were actors amongst ourselves
waiting to take stage...
--------------------
Like so many Rembrandts on the wall..
--------------------
I enjoyed every line but those two are my favorites.  

SEA
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since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
5 posted 2001-03-29 06:29 PM


I think I know what you mean...........
this is sad......

inot2B
Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205
Arkansas
6 posted 2001-03-29 06:30 PM


I can see the crowd giving this a standing ovation. Come back and take another BOW!!

Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
7 posted 2001-03-29 08:49 PM


PK, I know now that you're trapped in this time. . .

superb. . .

------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

8 posted 2001-03-30 01:15 AM


With unconscious ease and
Speaking from sleeping hearts
Learning to hit the marks
And entrances on cue
Graceful movements
And improvising a line or two
Until finally act three
Comes to resolution
The applause helps
With the absolution
============================
And finally, as I close my eyes
I see pictures of us all
How we seemed to come together
How we then came to fall

Like so many Rembrandts on the wall
=========================

"With unconscious ease and
Speaking from sleeping hearts"

"The applause helps
With the absolution"

"How we seemed to come together
How we then came to fall"

those are some very cool lines PK
your rhyme flow added to the pleasure of this
bittersweet, reflective, expressive piece.
Clever employ of metaphor as well.
This was like a poetic photograph from memorys yearbook or a diary entry that froze time for just a while.
the Rembrants reference was cool as well.

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
9 posted 2001-03-30 01:36 AM


Read this one a few times.  A relationship that never really was... just two people playing their parts for the crowd until such time as the curtain was lowered.  A modern day tale that finds it's roots in antiquity... a show that has been performed through the ages.  What I liked about this one is that it also made me think of a time when court life and intrigue were a part of this world... where conversation could be as deadly as a sword... thrust and perry... a slip of the tongue and you were ruined.  Thank you for sharing... I bow to you and yours.
Panne415
Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 104
San Antonio
10 posted 2001-03-30 03:22 AM


PK, Nice easy flow- not so easy sentiments but too often too true. I enjoyed this for all its obvious and hidden meanings. Panne
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
11 posted 2001-03-30 07:22 AM


Portraying our parts
With unconscious ease and
Speaking from sleeping hearts

I love those lines... I am trying  so hard not to be inspired today and there you go again...

~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA
12 posted 2001-03-30 09:32 AM


Thank you all so, so much for your replies to this new one. SEA, what's your take on this?
SEA
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with you
13 posted 2001-03-30 09:39 AM


Being in here...us..."taking the stage".......but when the curtain falls, we are as we were before.....strangers.....

ok, so maybe I'm being dramatic.....my mom used to call me her little Sarah Bernheart.....but that is how it felt when I read it and it felt sad......   SEA

PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA
14 posted 2001-03-30 10:03 AM


That is one interpretation, very nice...dig deeper...thanks, and yes, it is sad.
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