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Open Poetry #13
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tradewind
Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 101


0 posted 2001-03-28 11:57 PM


we never found
the right shade for each other
our fingers never dipped
into hues beneath skin
though songs were written
for the scarlet  kisses
your brown eyes smudged
each warning strain

we never found
the right shade for each other
never touched common marrow
in chalk white bones
our eyes brushed heat
over sensitive bodies
only scars from the blisters
made us the same

© Copyright 2001 tradewind - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2001-03-29 12:14 PM


we never found
the right shade for each other
our fingers never dipped
into hues beneath skin
though songs were written
for the scarlet  kisses
your brown eyes smudged
each warning strain
==========================
never touched common marrow
in chalk white bones
our eyes brushed heat
over sensitive bodies
only scars from the blisters
made us the same
========================

Oh wow ... what a very very cool poem
the imagery is so unique and raw .. so clever
and the sensual intesity is very cool

"never touched common marrow
in chalk white bones"

this is deep ...
excellent writing tradewinds ...
this is a keeper.

oh you speak to me in riddles
and you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath
your words keep me alive
~Sarah McLachlan~

tradewind
Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 101

2 posted 2001-03-29 12:47 PM


thanks Janet, i'm glad you liked this
and glad you think it's a keeper!

Mabel A. Dilley
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 859
Seattle, WA, USA
3 posted 2001-03-29 07:16 PM


Words bend to your intent of image. Excellent writing.

"I am not now that which I have been."

Joyce Johnson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
4 posted 2001-03-29 07:19 PM


You have given a new way of thinking about color.  Nice poem. Joyce
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2001-03-29 07:32 PM


TradeWind~
I have enjoyed this brushed canvas of your phrases.
Really nice imagery comes forth.
Nicely done.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
6 posted 2001-03-29 09:00 PM


You've got some great metaphors & great imagery going here, TW... Nicely done...
tradewind
Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 101

7 posted 2001-03-29 11:27 PM


Julian, Joyce, Marge and Nan, thank you all
so much for your kind replies

i'm so glad you enjoyed this one

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