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Open Poetry #13
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

0 posted 2001-03-28 07:38 AM


Through Nature's Eyes

In silence, crept the rising sun, to wake another day,
As forest leaves and woodland limbs began to ebb and sway;
It's rustling woke the rested doe, she felt the warmth and light,
A long deserved, triumphant sleep, as birth had come through night.

Surrounded by protective brush, in bedded-down content,
She raised her mighty head to scan the wood for morning scent;
The earthy loam that greeted her ensured they were alone,
While by her side, her infant slept, in rhythmic, gentle drone.

With tender care, she nuzzled him beneath his velvet chin,
His rounded eyes began to flutter, waking from within;
Entwined in warmth and innocence, she gazed upon her fawn,
A mother's pride swept over her, to greet the coming dawn.

She raised herself upon all fours, and stretched to meet the day,
He mimicked her swift movements in his awkward childlike way;
On trembling legs too tall for him, he struggled to remain,
But tipped and swayed in comic stance, his balance still inane.

In beauty as he blossomed there, she watched him gain his stride,
Not one day old, yet nature knew and urged him as he tried;
He leaned into his mother's flank, so muscular and strong,
With gentle ease and guidance shown, she steadied him along.

In careful step, he followed her, into the light of day,
And suckled as she stopped to graze in silence on the way;
She heard a noise and raised her head, the sound was out of place,
She cocked her ears and tensed herself … her heart began to race.

In tune with her surroundings, and the danger everywhere,
Her senses always wary, as she sheltered him with care;
Into the wind, she scanned the air, in search of unknown scent,
Protectively, her muscles froze, assessing the intent.

He felt her fear instinctively, her posture's subtle change,
He paused to gauge his mother's move, in tune with this exchange;
Alone along the forest edge, the two transcended time,
A portrait of a doe and fawn, magnificent … sublime.

A "click" and suddenly she sniffed ... aroma drifted by,
She braced her legs upon the ground, in readiness to fly;
Aware somehow of pending flight, he quickly rushed the woods,
And for a moment, mother paused, in beauty, there she stood.

With flowing grace, she turned in stride, and leapt into the air,
Presenting her intruder with a flash of white from rear;
She bobbed and wove into the wood, as nature closed behind,
A lesson for her newborn fawn … be wary of mankind.

She traced their steps to safer ground, this mother and her child,
While in the clearing, someone stood, in awe of them, and smiled;
The human had intruded, though he meant no pending harm,
Awash with adulation, and in tune with nature's charm.

They knew not of their beauty, nor their innocence and grace,
But captured for eternity … in photo they were placed.


/Kit McCallum

[This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 04-03-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Kit McCallum - All Rights Reserved
Cerenity
Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637
Escondido-California
1 posted 2001-03-28 08:21 AM


Hi Kit,

This is so beautiful, you had me worried there for a moment when the human came in to the picture though, I live on a hill and next to me is a farm with fawns and their babys so this poem is dear to me, I watch them every day as they make their trip alone the fence line and just love every moment with them, I really enjoy your poetry Kit you have a gifted pen,

Love, Cerenity

"God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist.
We have to be reminded that He exist!"

(Writer Unknown)



SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2001-03-28 09:08 AM


Kit~ I live where the deer come right up into our yard...(if you can call it a yard, we're in the mountains) It's such an amazing sight.....your poem gave me goose bumps.....I love this.....so perfectly done.....   SEA
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2001-03-28 09:25 AM


Look whose muse returned and gave her a cadence kissed masterpiece ...
my goodness Kit.. the imagery and detail in this is wonderful and lovely.
You walked us through this scene so poetically well we could smell the forest.
And very clever the way you added the suspense with the human element ...
making us wonder if their presence would be a threat.
Excellent writing dear poetess!!
later-Bambi-gator   *L*

oh you speak to me in riddles
and you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath
your words keep me alive
~Sarah McLachlan~

DreamLess
Member
since 2001-02-28
Posts 92

4 posted 2001-03-28 10:02 AM


i liked those words very much

WRITTEN BY ME..(17 YRS HIGHSCHOOL GIRL)
EASY ON ME.. I'M JUST AN AMATEUR

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
5 posted 2001-03-28 10:43 AM


Kit,

This is a gem...

Reading you is such a joy...

regards,
sudhir

Packratmike
Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632
California, USA
6 posted 2001-03-28 10:51 AM


This is perfect!  You could have turned this piece in so many different directions...you chose the right path in my opinion.  Very, very nice!

Mike

Mabel A. Dilley
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 859
Seattle, WA, USA
7 posted 2001-03-28 10:51 AM


Rhythmic cadence delightful in every way. I did not read, but rather entered the scene. Masterful craftmanship.

"I am not now that which I have been."

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
8 posted 2001-03-28 11:21 AM


very very nice Kit...

I got an email from someone in england this morning,,seems he is having trouble with deer in his garden--- thought it was odd to read this afterward.... lovely poem  

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
9 posted 2001-03-28 11:57 AM


Kit~
The rhythmical lilt is done to perfection !
How this piece sang it's way along nature's lovely path.

Loaded with Kodak is the best way to hunt !
This one is a real keeper, my friend.
Thank you for sharing such delightful scenery.
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
10 posted 2001-03-28 12:09 PM


Kit,
Excellent write, with a pleasent stir. This is a keeper.

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
11 posted 2001-03-29 03:39 PM


The rhythm of your words is as graceful as their subject... this is absolutely wonderful!!!
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
12 posted 2001-04-03 09:49 PM


~Cerenity: It sounds like you have a wonderful home with all of this surrounding you Cerenity. I used to be this close also, until we moved back to the city ... I really miss it. What a beautiful response, thank you.  

~SEA:  You too SEA?  Sigh ... now I'm really feeling homesick for the country. Sounds beautiful, thank you for these lovely thoughts!  

~Janet Marie:  LOL @ Bambi-gator!  Thanks so much for smelling the forest JM ... I was hoping to try and capture some descriptiveness in this ... I love it when you pick these things out ... many hugs!  

~Dreamless:  Thank you so very much for enjoying Dreamless, I very much appreciate it!  

~Sudhir:  It's so good to see you again Sudhir ... reading your responses are always a joy!  

~Packratmike:  I really wasn't sure what direction I was heading Mike, but I'm glad I chose this one too. Thank you so much for this wonderful comment!  

~Julian:  What a beautiful comment Julian ... it always means so much to me to here that the cadence was noticed. Thank you for these kind words!  

~Jamie:  Thank you so much for your thoughts Jamie. It is funny how things like that happen  ... I'd love to have deer in my yard again, what a wonderful predicament your friend has.  

~Marge:  I'm so glad you enjoyed this one Marge ... I just love these magnificent creatures ... what a treasure they are. Thank you for the sweet words my friend!  

~Seymour:  Thank you so very much for the kind words Sy ... it means a great deal to me, and I'm very appreciative!  

~Suthern:  I love that you love they rhythm Suthern ... and they are so incredibly graceful aren't they?  Beauty in motion. Thanks so much for enjoying!  

Much appreciation to all,
/Kit

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