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Open Poetry #13
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suthern
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0 posted 2001-03-27 09:06 AM


This may be a repost... If so, please forgive the unintentional redundancy. *S*

Stroke of Midnight

The music stops and I look around
Wondering at the cessation of sound,
Alarmed to find myself all alone -
The object of pity now that you've gone.

I'd been so happy, caught up in the dance
Reflecting your smile, enjoying the chance
To simply be near someone I love so
That happy character just didn't know

A forever friendship had such limitations.
Now turmoil and hurt replace jubilation
And I crumple, defeated, for all to see
You didn't find anything special in me.



© Copyright 2001 suthern - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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with you
1 posted 2001-03-27 09:09 AM


you and I have so much in common......this just zapped my heart.....I know just how this feels......Suthern, this is amazing.....( and I don't care if it is a repost, it's going in my library!) SEA

If I let you into my heart.....
will you promise to stay?
~Sue~

JamesMichael
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since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2001-03-27 09:57 AM


"You didn't find anything special in me." This says a lot...James
Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2001-03-27 11:08 AM


I'd been so happy, caught up in the dance
Reflecting your smile, enjoying the chance
To simply be near someone I love so
That happy character just didn't know
=======================

there is NADA.. nothing...redundant about your work...
unless you want to take into account that redundant can also mean consistant....
and then we can talk about the perfect consistancy of your cadence and rhyme flow...
and then we will talk about the way your words touch and play at the heartstrings...
and how you so often mirror our own emotions in your poetic purges...
and we always find quiet comfort in knowing we're not alone....
so OK... I guess you could say this was redundant
hugs Ruthie-girl.

oh you speak to me in riddles
and you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath
your words keep me alive
~Sarah McLachlan~

Marge Tindal
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4 posted 2001-03-27 11:47 AM


OhSweetSuthernGal~

I felt the Prince standing on the stairway to the palace with Cinderella's glass slipper in his hand ...

What superb imagery you brought to mind ~
Love n' *Hugs* a'plenty !
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Martie
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5 posted 2001-03-27 01:23 PM


suthern--If this is redundant then I think you should be redundant more often...and all the rest that JM said...this is great!
jellybeans
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since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

6 posted 2001-03-27 01:29 PM


you can do that???? I mean you can get forgiveness for unintentional redundancy?
*hits her forehead* sheesh why hadn't anyone told me this??????
*really expecting an answer look*

no really lady...you write with such honesty...no matter how muhc one might 'want' if it is not mutual, then...well you said it best...great write lady

Sudhir Iyer
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since 2000-04-26
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Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
7 posted 2001-03-27 01:33 PM


This is great writing... suthern...

Regards,
Sudhir

suthern
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8 posted 2001-03-27 03:12 PM


SEA: I'm sorry you relate so well... for rejection isn't fun to live through (and often seems terminal *S*) But thank you so much for your kind comments... you honor me. *S*

JamesMichael: kinda says it all, hunh? *G* Thank you for reading.

Janet Marie: Can I hire you to do my PR work for me? LOL. I think it may be stretching things a bit to equate redundancy with consistency. LOL. But thank you, dear lady, for your gracious compliments. They're greatly appreciated.

Marge: The trouble is, he was looking past me with a shoe sized to fit another. *S* Lousy luck and terrible timing strike again. LOL. Thank you so much, dear friend!

Martie: Yanno, that's almost a ditto... LOL. Have you been talking with jellybeans the ditto queen? LOL. Thank you very much, kind lady.

jellybeans: I know I've been holding out on you cause it's just so much fun to harass you. *G* But you can get forgiveness for almost anything, Sybil dear. *G* Thank you, dear friend... I'm glad you like this... and yes, it does take mutual wanting to have anything but dreams turning to dust.

Sudhir: Thank you so much! I appreciate you reading! *S*

Jamie
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since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
9 posted 2001-03-28 11:36 AM


Very well done Suthern... has a very nice feel to it

Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".


Sven
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10 posted 2001-03-28 06:34 PM


then this person must have been blind suthern. . .

wonderful poem. . . I know these words. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Kit McCallum
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since 2000-04-30
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Ontario, Canada
11 posted 2001-03-28 10:23 PM


Oh Suthern ... you just 'bout tore my heart out on that last line!  Excellent emotive writing ... so very sad, but beautifully done!  

Best wishes and hugs,
/Kit

suthern
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12 posted 2001-03-29 04:06 PM


Jamie: Thank you so much! *S*

Sven: Some are... but unfortunately, it's all too easy to see only through their eyes. *S* Thank you!

Kit: Now you be careful with that kind heart of yours, dear lady! *S* Thank you so much... your response means a lot to me. *S*

Wilfred Yeats
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since 2000-08-04
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Wilmington, Delaware
13 posted 2001-03-30 11:15 AM


3 little quatrains - but they spoke with such force - I felt nailed to my chair -
I'm saving this one - a true treasure!

suthern
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14 posted 2001-03-30 03:51 PM


Thank you, Wilfred... your kind words really made my day. *S*
Irish Rose
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Posts 10263

15 posted 2001-04-04 07:59 PM


I wonder how the term cam about "stroke of midnight" but I don't know.  I do know I love this!!
wayoutwalt
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since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
16 posted 2001-04-05 04:09 PM


o you are jsut begging to be smacked when you say things like i am not special. hehehe you gotta know you are   o yuh
suthern
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17 posted 2001-04-06 01:21 PM


Irish Rose: I'm glad you liked! *S* Thank you!

wow: Shhhhhhhhhhhh.... *G* Don't you be tellin' what I'm begging! LOL. Thank you for reading. *S* (As for knowing... there's special... and then there's special to a particular person. *S*)

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