navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #13 » shattered
Open Poetry #13
Post A Reply Post New Topic shattered Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
tradewind
Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 101


0 posted 2001-03-25 04:44 PM



there was always something
in the glaze of your eyes...
the image of a man
who didn't slur his stories

screaming by the glass
threatening to shatter
the distance between us
with the high pitch of truth

once, when we made love
and fingers questioned skin
i thought there was a moment
of trust and perfect hearing...

but you rolled into your silence
and i cast my eyes to the window
as we both embraced the knowledge
that the Quiet, spoke our breaking

© Copyright 2001 tradewind - All Rights Reserved
JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

1 posted 2001-03-25 04:56 PM


Very impressive first post! Really like the last verse. Welcome!

[This message has been edited by JLR (edited 03-25-2001).]

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2001-03-25 05:02 PM


A heartbreaking render of when we know the time has come...well written, indeed! Welcome to Passions! Please check your e-mail for a special Greeting!

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
3 posted 2001-03-25 05:58 PM


Powerful words, tradewind. Great writing!!

Welcome to Passions!!

Lone Wolf

Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
4 posted 2001-03-25 06:03 PM


Welcome to the family. I truly enjoyed this poem and look forward to reading more from you!
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2001-03-25 06:13 PM


TradeWind~
What a stunning entrance into the family circle of Passions !

We will anticipate more.
Do not doubt that you will enjoy being here.

'but you rolled into your silence'

Yes ... enjoyed this line muchly.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

6 posted 2001-03-25 06:28 PM


This is fantastic, welcome!

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


tradewind
Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 101

7 posted 2001-03-25 06:43 PM


thank you all for such a warm welcome.
i'm glad you enjoyed this and i'm looking forward to reading all of your poetry and that of others here. again, thank you.

SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

8 posted 2001-03-25 08:39 PM


~I hear your words. - This is some strong poetry. Feeling this. Welcome and *Peace.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

9 posted 2001-03-25 08:57 PM


once, when we made love
and fingers questioned skin
i thought there was a moment
of trust and perfect hearing...

but you rolled into your silence
and i cast my eyes to the window
as we both embraced the knowledge
that the Quiet, spoke our breaking
===================

excellent use of metaphor and imagery...
very unique, creative and emotive piece.

"and fingers questioned skin"
that is a very cool line!!

Welcome to Poetry Land tradewind...
so nice to have you here with us.
I too look forward to reading more of your work
take care
jm

oh you speak to me in riddles
and you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath
your words keep me alive
~Sarah McLachlan~

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
10 posted 2001-03-26 12:47 PM


Wow........very impressive first post! Welcome! This is amazing..... SEA
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
11 posted 2001-03-26 01:08 PM


excellent writing. . . the knowledge shows. . .

welcome. . . and we look forward to more from you. . .

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

tradewind
Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 101

12 posted 2001-03-26 01:12 PM


SpitFire, Janet Marie, SEA and Sven, thank you all for such nice words and warm welcome
i'm enjoying the writing here, trying to comment as time allows

again, thanks

Panne415
Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 104
San Antonio
13 posted 2001-03-26 03:51 PM


TW,
When fingers questioned skin - perfect line. Thanks for posting this. Panne

bslicker
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321
state of mind
14 posted 2001-03-26 04:02 PM


Great beginning,,
Welcome to passions.

Bernie

A a day keeps the world 'G

Bernie Slicker

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
15 posted 2001-03-26 04:28 PM


most wonderful in imagery, structure, language, and emotion..... a fine work... thank you for the read

-There is no Devil. Just God when He drinks. - Tom Waits

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
16 posted 2001-03-26 07:17 PM


'once, when we made love
and fingers questioned skin
i thought there was a moment
of trust and perfect hearing...

but you rolled into your silence
and i cast my eyes to the window
as we both embraced the knowledge
that the Quiet, spoke our breaking'

These are some superbly penned lines, tradewind!! Welcome to Passions...I hope you enjoy it here!!

sp

to be with you...
I've tried to hide my passion,
but it's just no use...
piece by piece I lose it
when you walk into the room...

tradewind
Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 101

17 posted 2001-03-26 08:19 PM


Panne, Bernie, doreen and snowpants, thanks
so much for the kind replies and taking
the time for this one.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #13 » shattered

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary