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Open Poetry #13
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

0 posted 2001-03-24 02:44 AM


On soft wings of night I cry
Lonely seeking wings to fly
Never having wanted more
To wake my gifts for love's implore.
Of dust and travel I am weary
Helpless here, I'm worn and dreary.
Place me please upon your lips,
I may take your love in triple sips.
Edging slowly drunken will
Stumbling then but will I spill?
Softly tendering in your arms,
Love's woke moments stole my charms.
I've nothing left to hide in sir,
You've stolen within,
Its there now, you stir.

© Copyright 2001 Jennifer - All Rights Reserved
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

1 posted 2001-03-24 04:52 AM


go get 'em Jenn!!

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2001-03-24 05:00 AM


"Place me please upon your lips"..this is a good place to begin...James
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
3 posted 2001-03-24 10:53 AM


wow. . . there's a depth of feeling here. . . it's excellent. . .

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
4 posted 2001-03-24 02:31 PM


'On soft wings of night I cry
Lonely seeking wings to fly
Never having wanted more
To wake my gifts for love's implore.'

Great write, Temptress! I can definitely relate to this one...

sp

to be with you...
I've tried to hide my passion,
but it's just no use...
piece by piece I lose it
when you walk into the room...

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
5 posted 2001-03-24 02:46 PM


damn, girl!!! when did you start rhyming??? what a NATURAL you are!! this is wonderful in cadence, rhythm, and wording from the heart.... i loved it!!!

(and thank you again so much for trying to reach me the other day... it meant a LOT to me!!! we'll talk soon, k?)

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
6 posted 2001-03-24 06:21 PM


Kathleen,
Thanks for reading. Wish I could!

James,
Thanks you. Indeed it would be a great beginning.

Sven,
Thank you. The depth of feeling is controlling my pen lately. It certainly is refreshing.

Snowpants,
Thank you. Relating is sometimes just as painful isn't it?

Doreen,
You're welcome. Anything I can do for a friend. As far as the rhyme..well it just seems to come lately. I can only give credit to some wonderful inspiration that has loosened my walls a bit. I have a notebook with new rhyming stuff lately, but have yet to put it out there. I'm glad you think I'm a natural though. That helps a lot. Be well, Lady.

Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
7 posted 2001-04-09 07:21 PM


Very nicely written. I had to pull this one from the past because its so good. Ryhming is a very hard thing to d and you seem to have done very well
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
8 posted 2001-04-09 08:31 PM


TemptyOne~
Very nicely said.
I enjoyed the cadence as well.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Red-uni
Member
since 2000-07-30
Posts 192
Georgia, USA
9 posted 2001-04-10 12:21 PM


Love it..the rhyming is great!!!!  Do more of it.
Red  

Waseem Cheema
Member
since 2001-03-16
Posts 369
Pakistan
10 posted 2001-04-10 04:55 AM


Yes..why not. You can say...

I love to nice poetry.

Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
11 posted 2001-04-10 08:50 PM


I love this side of you as well, it's a delight to read....you have a remarkable talent....


Greeneyes~


***

"Within you I lose myself
Without you I find myself
Wanting to be lost again."
-Unknown



Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
12 posted 2001-04-10 08:52 PM


I really like this one Temptress . .  very tender read . . .  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
13 posted 2001-04-12 01:04 PM


Place me please upon your lips,
I may take your love in triple sips.

Ahhh... and then savor! *G* I like this lots, Jenn... Well done!

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