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Open Poetry #13
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Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2001-03-23 07:43 PM



She Lets it Pour all over Her

Laughter was like hot confetti
spilling from the sun
into the grass.

She could feel it bubble
from her throat
and burst there
into summer.

The hose was the season’s best toy,
the conduit of joy snaked across the patio
drenching the cement to cool,
then into pails
where she sat
like a queen
with a crown of wet curls.

Behind her the sheets waved
on the line
and her mother hummed into a book,
and even her brother
bounced into a smile

when he captured the waterfall
and let it pour all over her.

Now the girl is woman
turning toward summer’s remarkable
with her pails still full
and overflowing with cool.

That is the way she makes it past
those days that dare to question,
those days that stick to her
like a sagging bathing suit,

she lets it pour all over her.

In the dew of little things,
the heart finds its morning
and is refreshed.
(ee cummings)

© Copyright 2001 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-03-23 07:46 PM


Umhumm....yep....you go girl!
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

2 posted 2001-03-23 08:09 PM


Dear Lady, your imagery is specific and very effective. I won't critique this, just enoy it, it's fabulous!

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


Auguste
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since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
3 posted 2001-03-23 08:17 PM


Martie,

Just enough imagery to turn this one into magic. Wonderful, my friend...and nice :-)

Michael

Proust-
"Love is space and time measured by the heart"

Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2001-03-23 08:23 PM


Martie~
And I just got the cutest picture of that little moppet
in her sagging bathing suit.

Oh ... if ever I wanted to 'share'...

ADORABLE !
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
5 posted 2001-03-23 10:05 PM


Oh I loved this Martie, just loved it! I remember those days so well, and wonder where has the child in all of us gone...I say we all have hose fights as soon as the weather allows, what do you think? Boy girl, can you paint a poetic picture like no body's business, you're the best!

~*~A poet is someone who reads more than they write ~*~

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2001-03-23 10:11 PM


Laughter was like hot confetti
spilling from the sun
===================
where she sat
like a queen
with a crown of wet curls.

Behind her the sheets waved
on the line
and her mother hummed into a book,
and even her brother
bounced into a smile

when he captured the waterfall
and let it pour all over her.

Now the girl is woman
turning toward summer’s remarkable
with her pails still full
and overflowing with cool.

That is the way she makes it past
those days that dare to question,
those days that stick to her
like a sagging bathing suit,

she lets it pour all over her.
============================
this is a smile waiting to happen...
youre so cool!!!
the imagery in this is so well presented
and the depth of the discoveries made in the memory is very cool.....

"That is the way she makes it past
those days that dare to question,
those days that stick to her
like a sagging bathing suit,"

yes....very cool indeed...
that verse is pure Martie poetry.

oh you speak to me in riddles
and you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath
your words keep me alive
~Sarah McLachlan~

Kit McCallum
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since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
7 posted 2001-03-24 09:43 AM


I really enjoyed this wonderfully descriptive vision Martie ... a wonderful read!

Best wishes,
/Kit

JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

8 posted 2001-03-24 10:07 AM


I love this! Those summers on the patio. Thanks for the memory.
Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
9 posted 2001-03-24 10:23 AM


Sunshine--when it shines!

Kathleen--I'm glad you enjoyed.

Michael--I'm so glad that you liked this poem.

Marge--You better not! Hugs!

Mysteria--What a lovely response...thank you!

Janet--you are the cool one, my friend...way cool!

Kit--thanks so much for stopping by to read.

JLR--You were there too? Fun wasn't it!

Auguste
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Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
10 posted 2001-03-24 12:01 PM


Martie,

This is close enough to the assignment I gave you, so forget that one and spend the rest of the day just goofing off. This really is good. I hope you realize that. :-)
Michael

Proust-
"Love is space and time measured by the heart"

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
11 posted 2001-04-07 02:22 PM


This one almost slipped away - without my seeing it - and that would have been a real tragedy - A Treauurs FOR SURE !!!!!
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
12 posted 2001-04-07 03:56 PM


Wonderful imagery...very good poem!

Nathan

Joyce Johnson
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Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
13 posted 2001-04-07 04:05 PM


I love this.  It brought back memories.  My husband just never grew up.  I did not dare go outside if he had a hose in his hands.  Thanks  Joyce
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
14 posted 2001-04-07 04:10 PM


I love the hot and coolness of it all.  Nice write.  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
15 posted 2001-04-08 03:42 PM


Yanno, every now and then a poem comes along to knock all pomposity right out of me and remind me that I miss plenty... which is sort of a redundant reminder for a blonde. LOL. I don't know how I'd missed this one... but it's a delight... it makes me think of my little nephew playing with the water hose... watering the plants, drinking from the hose... and chasing an aunt who'd rather remain dry! LOL ... there's nothing like a child's giggle!
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